i missed you.
it was a bratwurst. i was eating lunch.
mother goose?
touch of the flu.
how 'bout your sex life?
what's to discuss?
well, you know -- there's the prestige of the job title.  and the benefits package is pretty good.
what?
yeah
two legs, nice rack.
sure, sparky. i'll get right on it.
you need money to take a girl out
yeah, i'd take her to europe if i had the plane.
you're gonna pay me to take out some girl?
how much?
i can't take a girl like that out on twenty bucks.
fifty, and you've got your man.
hey. girlie.
i mean wo-man. how ya doin'?
there's a way to get a guy's attention.
pick you up friday, then
the night i take you to places you've never been before. and back.
i know a lot more than that
you're no bargain either, sweetheart.
hey
you hate me don't you?
then say you'll spend dollar night at the track with me.
come on -- the ponies, the flat beer, you with money in your eyes, me with my hand on your ass.
seven-thirty?
nice ride. vintage fenders.
i was in the laundromat. i saw your car. thought i'd say hi.
you're not a big talker, are you?
i'm on it
i got her under control. she just acts crazed in public to keep up the image.
i just upped my price
a hundred bucks a date.
forget her sister, then.
say it
whatever the hell it is you're standin' there waitin' to say.
what plan?
what is it with this chick? she have three tits?
dorsey can plow whoever he wants. i'm just in this for the cash.
so dorsey can get the girl?
you two are gonna help me tame the wild beast?
yeah -- we'll see.
lou, it's okay. they're with me.
what've you got for me?
what?!
are you telling me i'm a - "non-smoker"?
what? you don't think i'm pretty?
so what does that give me? i'm supposed to buy her some noodles and a book and sit around listening to chicks who can't play their instruments?
yeah.
don't make me do it, man
michael -- did you get this information "illegally"?
i'm likin' you guys better
this is really music?
always a pleasure, brucie.
fan of a fan. you see a couple of minors come in?
padua girls. one tall, decent body. the other one kinda short and undersexed?
hey. great show, huh?
excuse me?
do you mind? you're sort of ruining it for me.
i know. i quit.
you know, these guys are no bikini kill or the raincoats, but they're right up there.
why, don't you?
i watched you out there i've never seen you look like that
come to that party with me.
i got it, rick.
nine-thirty then.
see you next week!
nine-thirty right?
i'm early.
who knocked up your sister?
what's this?
i say, do what you wanna do.
maybe you should let me have it.
it's about time.
do what?
okay?
you're not okay.
uh, uh. you lie down and you'll go to sleep
what if you have a concussion? my dog went to sleep with a concussion and woke up a vegetable. not that i could tell the difference.
c'mon, let's walk
cameron, i'm a little busy
what 're you talking about?
cameron -- do you like the girl?
then, go get her
leave it to you to use big words when you're shitfaced.
i told you
sure, i do
because then i'd have to start taking out girls who like me.
see that? who needs affection when i've got blind hatred?
how's that?
jesus. you're like a weeble
why'd you let him get to you?
dorsey.
i know. it'd have to be a pretty big deal to get you to mainline tequila. you don't seem like the type.
i thought you were above all that
no. what do they say?
shit!
jingle bells! jingle belles! wake up damn it!
kat! wake up!
i thought you were.
cute
i'm driving, so i get to pick the tunes.
and i'm in control of it.
busy
maybe.
then why'd you ask?
do what?
start a band?
you don't strike me as the type that would ask permission.
i'm gettin' there
yeah -- well, i'm no picnic myself.
so what ' s up with your dad? he a pain in the ass?
who?
no offense, but you're sister is without. i know everyone likes her and all, but .
so, i'll see you in school
hey
no - i've got a sweet-payin' job that i'm about to lose.
i don ' t know. i decided not to nail her when she was too drunk to remember it.
no shit. she won't even look at me
she just needs time to cool off i'll give it a day.
maybe two.
you makin' any headway?
where?
i don't know, dorsey. . the limo.-the flowers. another hundred for the tux --
excuse me, have you seen the feminine mystique? i lost my copy.
i heard there was a poetry reading.
pleasant?
wholesome.
unwelcome? i guess someone still has her panties in a twist.
so what did i have an effect on ?
you were right. she's still pissed.
man -- don't say shit like that to me. people can hear you.
what's the worst?
if i go down. i'm takin' her with me
"this morning, i woke up with this feeling, i didn't know how to deal with, and so i just decided to myself--"
"i'd hide it to myself. and never talk about it. and didn't i go and shout it when you walked into the room --"
" i think i love you i "
flog me.
look up, sunshine
i guess i never told you i'm afraid of heights.
try lookin' at it from this angle
forget it. i'm stayin'.
maybe.
i figured it had to be something ridiculous to win your respect. and piss you off.
so how'd you get chapin to look the other way?
a soft side? who knew?
so what's your excuse?
yes
so if you disappoint them from the start, you're covered?
then you screwed up
you never disappointed me.
you up for it?
fallacy.
hearsay.
do you?
i hate peas.
you're sweet. and sexy. and completely hot for me.
no one else knows
go to the prom with me
you know what i mean
no what?
why not?
people won't expect you to go.
so i have to have a motive to be with you?
you need therapy. has anyone ever told you that?
nothing! there's nothing in it for me. just the pleasure of your company.
cover that up
it's scurvy's. his date got convicted. where'd you get the dress?
oh huh
no prob.
look, clem even wore his good boots
my grandmother's .
that's where i was last year. she'd never lived alone -- my grandfather died -- i stayed with her. i wasn't in jail, i don't know marilyn manson, and i've never slept with a spice girl. i spent a year sitting next to my grandma on the couch watching wheel of fortune. end of story.
it gets worse -- you still have your freshman yearbook?
wait i.
it wasn't like that.
i didn't care about the money.
i cared about --
i thought you could use it. when you start your band.
besides, i had some extra cash. some asshole paid me to take out a really great girl.
yeah, but then i fucked up. i fell for her.
you know -- it's not every day you find a girl who'll flash her tits to get you out of detention.
i know
because i like to torture you.
don ' t you even dare. . .
she tries to keep him from grabbing the yearbook that bianca now hands her.
ask my attorney.