this isn't the way we came.
let's not. sorry.
this place stinks!
you know. you know, at this point i'm blaming it all on bad karma. this is how we die, man. i wish they'd just get it over with.
let me tell you, i had a premonition. i had the worst feeling when she said she was going to go up and see the band.
what if we get it for not warning her?
my despair has a strange shape. it doesn't hurt like something that hurts your body. it's seeing the continuity.
of something hopeless going on and on year after year.
when i close my eyes i see the city.
but when i go out all i see are clues and patterns.
or the endless wait for coincidence.
events slowly unfold with the possibility that my patience will become accidental waste.
but at the same time i see that it's exactly what put mom in the position she was always in.
yes, and i really deserve it.
you stand to lose everything you worked for in the last 60 years. the ranch, our inheritance.
why have you set out to prove everything is here by chance?
i wasn't too young to know what happened the last time we were found out. you don't act like i'm the next to die.
i know why you're so happy all the time. this place is a free lunch.
reality is a refraction from a physical process. the sum of the stars is nothing.
where have you been. he's here.
dresses?
books?
how was la?
why did you let the animals go? here's a story about animals that caused erosion on the channel islands. we don't need any more attention right now.
do you remember seeing my moon earrings anywhere have you?
the night of the great unpleasantness?
ok, let's just stop talking about it.
20 november, the mirror never reflects my despair, just water running in the sink.
oh, and you can go and enjoy your life in
you get to come and go as you please and i'm stuck here in this dirty hideout.
what about the government?
forget it.
if my dilemma is the dilemma of art, what would the art character do?
well, you'll be all set up in la if anything happens to me.
you know, i've looked everywhere. there are no references to two people leaving a halloween party anywhere in western, eastern, sumerian, or comic book literature.
what was your mother's favorite book?
we both should have written these things down. that's why i have a diary now.
i protest in advance any role where i am resolved as ineffective, irrelevant, marginal, unable to influence, yet always influenced and, in short, any role where i am victimized by circumstance. these are my politics and someone's going to have to deal with them.
16, november. you asked me to remember the time before i came here. i remember a shipwreck and a storm that washed out all the roads.
i remember a dream from my childhood. in the dream a prince comes from the sea.
and lives with me and my old father. there was england,.
back stage with my mother all those years while i grew so slowly. france, india.
french indochina.
then here. beside the arbitrary sea.