what is that?
please continue.
that's harsh.
or that.
come on hansen. you'll be ok. you're the best guy i know. you'll find someone.
now i know this may be a little risque. but if new hampshire greetings wants the jump on those conservative, right-wing neo-nazis at hallmark, maybe playing it safe is the wrong approach. the nuclear family is dead and we need a new holiday to recognize that.
may 21st. other mother's day.
who?
dude. i hear she's a bitch from hell!
patel tried to talk to her in the copy room. she was totally not having it.
and maybe she's some uppity, better than everyone, superskank.
i know. she's pretty hot.
dunno.
and really good teeth.
women.
was it ever on?
so what happened?
what shit?
what the hell is wrong with you?!
based on"it was good?"
no thanks.
this friday. 10 bucks all you can karaoke at the well.
come on!
i wasn't that bad.
this is a work thing, tommy. it won't be like that. the whole office is going.
you're not listening to me.
the whole office is going. tom looks over to where summer sits. and realization dawns on him.
goddamn that song is brilliant! what's up hansen?
hey, did you know tom here's from jersey?
so you got a boyfriend?
why not?
come on. i don't believe that.
i have no idea what you're talking about.
oh you have no idea. this one.  embarrassing. there was this one girl, i gotta tell this story --
so, uh, who's singing next?
you really do.
self-confidence! ha!
"and i'd proudly stand up!" i said stand!
this guy.
no. i'm gonna walk. i live right down that street. or that one.
hey.
not you. you. he likes you.
i mean.  likes you, likes you. for real. tell her tom.
your girl is losing it.
what would you say?
no i do not. in fact girls are repulsed by me. paul, how about you?
normal.
you're so gay.
i heard her hansen. she's not the girlfriend type. you're gonna need to discuss it.
have you made her a cd yet?
oh dude.
love? shit, i don't know. as long as she's cute and she's willing, right? actually, cute is a strong word. not atrocious.
i'm just saying.  i really need some ass. i'm desperate.
hansen, don't you have like twenty bar mitzvah cards to write?
congratulations. but i've run out of ways to say it. "good job," "well done," "way to go".  i got nothing.
it's about her.
it's just. lately you've been. better.
so maybe it's best we don't ever bring her up again.
leave those dogs alone tom!
tom.
tom!
i've been calling every five minutes. are you ok?
do you need anything?
sorry.
well let's go.
it's thursday.
tom!
tom.
tom!
tom.
we know.
she was.
yeah.
tom!
	73:
so i'm nancy?!
what?
i'm gonna throw up.
for real?
really?
you like the smiths?
"to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die." love it.
"today you're a man. mazel tov on your bar mitzvah."
i was very neat and organized.
of course it does.
yeah?
yeah.
the evidence did not support him.
here.
so how was your weekend?
"take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and they got big titties!"
you saved my life that day.
i mean. my plans got cancelled.
that makes sense.
are you a lesbian?
love? you seriously believe in that stuff?
ok. looks like we're gonna have to agree to disagree on that one.
he's the best.
is he gonna be ok?
ok, goodnight mckenzie!
shhh.
he exaggerates!
that is hot.
no. that would be wrong.
sure.
ok?
wanna hold my hand under the table?
ok. then it's time to go back in.
god yes!
ooh.
this got great reviews.
maybe.
something like that.
please don't.
hi. i'm tom.
hi.
hi.
and.  my semester in rome. daniele belardelli. aka "the puma."
well maybe you should think about.  someone else.  who could cheer you up.
how was your weekend?
hey, i've been talking non-stop. you talk.
hey, happy.  birthday.
yes it is from one of our cards.
no someone else wrote it. doesn't make it less true.
you got nothing?
you know why? cause she's real.
shit. that's not bad.
how's that?
that's real nice.
oh. k. we'll come back to you. mckenzie --
it's these greeting cards, sir, these cards, these movies, these pop songs. they're responsible for all the lies, the heartache, everything! we're responsible! everyone shifts in their seats.
yeah i made it up, so what?!
fuck!
so why aren't you smiling?
sure.
i don't. i think you're just remembering the good stuff. but what do i know, right? i'm 13.
i'm getting up. what time is it?
god no.
i'll never understand that.
it just wasn't me you were right about.
see you later.
i think i've seen you there.
tom was.
oh. got it.  no problem.