it's not a fish, sir. it's a mammal. an angry riddle stands up.
i've got forty.
the police are checking into the animal rights people. martha, have the police called back about the dolphin yet?
thanks martha, but we'd better leave this to professionals.
okay, send him in. martha exits, ace enters.
hi, i'm melissa robinson. did you have any trouble getting in?
super bowl week. security's tight. mr. ventura, i'll get right to the point… she slips a tape in the vcr and gestures for ace to sit.
our mascot was stolen from his tank last night. are you familiar with snowflake? the tape shows snowflake doing a trick. the trainer, dressed like a quarterback, shouts out signals.
we got snowflake from the miami seaquarium. he's a rare bottle nose dolphin. that's the new trick he was going to do during the half-time show. while ace studies the tape, he chews sunflower seeds in a bird-like fashion, placing the shells in a neat little pile on her desk.
would you like an ashtray?
to be honest, mr. ventura. i'm pretty skeptical. before today, i didn't even know there was such a thing as a pet detective.
how did you know i have a schnauser? ace pulls a, invisible-to-the-naked-eye dog hair off here blouse and presents it to her.
very impressive.
i can hardly wait. look, we've got a problem. can you help me or not?
we'll give you three thousand dollars on delivery. ace immediately becomes the narrator of a nature show.
the police were here this morning. apparently, the kidnappers used the back gate. ace bends down to look at some tire tracks on the field.
they said some kind of a –
oh, hi, roger. how are you holding up?
roger podacter, meet ace ventura. ace is our pet detective. podacter shakes his hand.
yes. this morning. ace hops on the ladder.
get out of the tank.
i said, get out of the tank! now! the reporters draw closer. podacter heads them off.
that? that's… ace. heinz heinz kissvelvet. i am trainer of dolphins. you vant to talk to ze dolphin, you talk to me!
are you finished, heinz?
i'm really going out on a limb here, ventura. camp's social events are strictly a-list.
i swear, if you do anything to embarrass me in front of camp…
this is my date. he's a… lawyer.
i'm sorry, it's ace - ah, tom ace. ace is very unimpressed with her lying ability. he jumps in.
this is insane. there's no way that camp stole snowflake.
yes. they're incredible.
who, tom? oh, i'm sure he's fine. ace suddenly opens the bathroom door and stands there, completely drenched from head to toe, with his pants in shreds. everyone stops. they all stare at ace in amazement.
we'd better go. camp looks on and shakes his head.
…y'know, i don't even want to know why your pants are missing! i don't care what happened! you could have cost me my job.
it's a sure thing! it's definitely him! just get me in there! let me work my magic! ace takes the stone out of his pocket and studies it intensely.
hiring you was the biggest mistake i ever made!
so, you found a pebble in snowflake's tank. excuse me while i call cnn.
what are you talking about?
i thought you said he didn't do it.
wait a second. what ring? ace hands her the book. it's open to a photo of…
how are you gonna do that?
ace, that stone could have come from anywhere. an earring, a necklace…
lt. einhorn thinks it was an animal rights group. have you heard of fan?
did you know that last year they sent threatening letters to 127 college teams, demanding the release of their mascots? at last count –
ah… dog food, why?
what are you talking about?
you're just mad because your stupid pebble theory didn't work out and you don't know how to express your anger.
i'm not even gonna' talk to you, please leave.
you… are unbelievable. the phone rings inside the house. melissa goes to answer it.
hiring you was a huge mistake! the door slams and ace is alone with the dog. after a moment he reaches down to pet it and we all see that it is one of the happiest dogs in the world.
it just seems so out of character. he was going to retire in two years.
what are you thinking?
you checked all the rings.
no. camp was the only honoree. just players and coaches. everyone in the photo.
ace this has been a really tough day. can't we do this in the morning? ace looks at his watch.
these files go back to seventy- eight.
that was pretty impressive, what you did back at the apartment.
maybe you should have joined the police force… become a real detective.
you really love animals, don't you? ace stops searching and looks into her eyes.
sure. she gets closer still.
ohhh!! you bastard!
i don't know.
gee… maybe they were misplaced because somebody didn't put the files back when he was…
what… ace crosses to a big picture of the '82 team that hangs on the aadjacent wall and points out a player.
oh, that's ray finkle… the kicker. don't you know who ray finkle is?
this was the picture you were using? this was taken earlier in the year. finkle wasn't added to the roster till mid-season. she starts to realize what ace has already figured out.
he's the guy that missed the final field goal in the super bowl that year. cost the dolphins the game.
definitely. int. stadium. public relations office - later ace and melissa look through finkle's file on a microfiche screen. newspaper articles, headshots flash before them…
'replacement kicker having great year'… 'ready for super bowl, confident kicker boasts'.
the kick heard round the world. that was finkle. the dolphins lost by one point. another headline hits the screen: finkle contract not renewed.
poor guy.
last i heard, he went back to his home town, collier county. he used to work in a bar up there.
can you drop me off before you go?
what do you suggest? cut to:
oh man… oh man! oh wow!
ace? where are you? intercut ace. melissa
marino? why?
okay, hold on… melissa checks marino's itinerary. ace waits, impatiently.
ah, he had practice. then… he has a commercial shoot out at the prescott sound stage.
it's on route one by the six cut off. thirty minutes outside of town.
ace, tell me what's going on. ace?… the payphone dangles off the hook. ace is…
who is it?
ira who?
ace, what are you doing? it's the middle of the night!
so you think they're going to let us just waltz in and look around?
my brother… eugene. angle on ace - looking like the football player who never wore a helmet.
is that right?
that's a relief, doctor. ace takes a "snap" from a three-foot hedge and dives over it into the end zone. melissa and the doctor stop to watch him.
as long as i've known him. ace does a wild touchdown dance with some of the other patients participating.
he'll be fine by himself for the next twenty minutes.
thanks. are you sure you don't want to stay here with me?
okay. she gets out of the car, then turns and leans in the window.
listen… i know there isn't much time left. the game is tomorrow. but i know you've done your best. it's just an impossible situation. i don't expect.
emilio, is he in trouble?
put down your guns or this cop gets it! the swat team hesitates.
i mean it!! much to emilio's surprise, she cocks the gun.
don't anybody make a move! marino whispers something in his ear. ace looks confident again. he once more addresses the crowd.