by
card over. white letters on a dark background:
another ten minutes down here, rawhide.
there may not be a next time.
you've got the god-given tools to be a success in any field of endeavor, dr. zwibel. ever thought about joining me full-time?
can you sing?
final contact is made.
that's a big "no can do".
chute negative. i'm gonna try and lay her sideways.
see 'em? they about had me and the whole damn car for breakfast. broke my windshield.
i'm starving. somebody, help.
same one you had yesterday?
smells fermented. check in with the institute, reno, see if everything's kosher.
figures. anybody seen my scope?
anybody we know?
too closely. gotta be more than sheer coincidence. rawhide, you're keen on bugs. what do you think?
not really. this is pretty important.
everybody ready? how do we look? do we look okay?
i heard somebody crying. i said is someone out there crying in the darkness?
raise your hand. where?
somebody get her a mike? can we manage that? and a spotlight. what's your name?
did you say"peggy"?
nobody's a nobody. why're you crying? what's wrong?
he offered you money?
remember it's always darkest just before the dawn. believe me, i've been there.
this song's for peggy. and all you others out there a little down on your luck.
everybody okay up here?
then what?
have you warned professor hikita?
and his soul black as the ace of spades.
i'm sure we'll find out soon enough.
doubt it. check norad command. could be a volcanic ash cloud. work her up statistically, check it for the next twenty-four hours, then shovel the data over to reno.
sid, welcome aboard. fellas, meet a medical colleague, sid zwibel. he'll be riding with us from now on, so get acquainted while i snoop around.
i guess 'cause you remind me of someone i once knew, long ago before any of this craziness.
who were you really trying to kill last night?
pretty terrible shot.
who?
she was the queen of the netherlands.
i'd turn around, but i'm afraid you'd strangle me.
wyoming? not cody, by any chance?
no, i don't.
having a little trouble with that knot, aren't you?
did you have family there--? a sister? in cody?
another 'you'?
adopted. i should have know. of course. if it was a snake, it'd bit me!
who does? it's a crazy mixed-up world. just do the best you can with what you have.
let her out. in my custody.
no she's not.
i'm assigning a couple blue shields to protect you around the clock, just in case.
mr. secretary. senator cunningham, ladies and gentlemen. thirty years ago, nearly to this day, my mother and father and sir alan motley, all former colleagues of professor toichi hikita at the texas school of mines, gave their lives for what was considered at the time an insane notion: the possibility of contacting alien life.  not on another planet, but on a simultaneous plane of existence within solid matter. life which, before the war, professor hikita had actually glimpsed while pioneering a highly primitive gravity catapult with doctor emilio lizardo.
i don't wanna go get too technical here, ladies and gentlemen, but i'm talking twister physics. quantum mechanics. now you see, now you don't. this table i'm sitting behind? it appears to be solid matter, right?
but in point of fact, the solid parts of this table.  the protons, quarks, your neutrons and electrons. they comprise only about one quadrillionth of its total volume.
exactly. so the professor here, way back in 1937, figured that if solid matter is mostly empty space, a person oughta be able to discover a to travel inside things like tables. and mountains.
which we all know are the forces that tend to pull objects part, right, professor?
the president of what?
is he still delirious?
you keep an eye on it.
mr. president--? some kind of interference. i can't.
go back to the bus and reroute the call.
pencil! quick! pen! anything!
there! those two! don't panic.
evil. pure and simple, from the eighth dimension! grab 'em!
arachtoids! stop 'em!
rawhide. come in. over.
that's me. i've been ionized, but i'm okay. i'm, switching on the homing beacon, mark two minute intervals.
the deuce you say. that crate!
i think i'm on to something. you and the guys go back to the house and dig up everything you can on an outfit called yoyodyne.
careful. don't make noise and don't touch me. i'm hotter than flapjacks.
i'm a giant semi-conductor, and there's alien creatures all around us. form the eighth dimension, i think. look.
ever since that phony phone call from the president. look at this. what is it?
it's an antidote. a formula. whoever it was on the phone made me scribble this and gave me the ability to penetrate their disguises.
arachtoids. from planet ten.
there's a harley behind those bushes. get back to the laboratory and start working on the formula. we don't have time to ask questions. just synthesize it-
hurry! please.
nothing to apologize for, casper. you've gone beyond the call of duty tonight. mind if i get on the horn and radio the cavaliers--? they'll be worried.
not the famous scooter?
is the professor here? where's penny?
what? how do you know that?
planet 10? the same planet 10 you postulated beyond pluto, perfect tommy? the invisible body?
orson wells? what about doctor lizardo?
stole his body? when doctor lizardo's hair turned red and his mind snapped? of course! what else?
it? who does?
will everybody please shut up so i can hear this thing?
you wanna take the chance, casper?
rawhide, go find out how professor hikita's coming with that formula. mrs. johnson, take casper and scooter, gas up the jet car.
to get my guns.
open up or i'll shoot it off.
penny, look-
that's kinda complicated to get into right now because the world's maybe coming to an end and i can't stand here and talk to a closet door.
penny, i was going to get into that, but i haven't had time. with arachtoids and all. but briefly she was your long lost twin sister, we got married, and that's about all i can say. right now. penny?
she was killed, penny.
don't go to pieces. i haven't got time tonight.
where's my damn ammo? nothing is ever where it's supposed to be around here!
you don't wanna know.
she was murdered by hanoi shan on our wedding night.
i wish he was. he's real enough.
never.
i gotta go. we're on borrowed time.
please, penny. you just gotta trust me now. okay? and don't panic. because it's gonna be all right.
yeah. and maybe more important, if you believe in yourself.
absolutely.
it's too dangerous.
what is it, tommy?
stay here, i'll be back.
dead. damnit!
spread out. they can't be far.
you okay?
professor--!?
just 'grazed' you, huh?
arachtoid.
any antidote for these things?
we will, old fried, we will.
there's another one we owe 'em.
don't shoot!
no! we'll get it back.
to cut right to the bottom line on this, sir, we have reason to believe that there are moving freely among us, vicious red aliens disguised as the owners and operators of yoyodyne propulsion systems.
not exactly, mr. secretary, no. real aliens. giant red arachtoids camouflaged as human beings. and what they're really building, forget your truncheon bomber, mr. secretary, is this enormous rocketship to escape back through the eighth dimension and then on to planet 10.
the gentleman standing here with me is called john parker, and he can corroborate everything i've said because he's from planet 10 too.
no, sir. this 'man' as you call him, is not a human being, mr. president. he's a black arachtoid.
i've got it, mr. secretary. but unfortunately the oscillation overthruster is in penny priddy's possession and she's been kidnapped and taken to yoyodyne, further exacerbating the situation. we're on our way there right now.
john parker, tell them we're doing our best. stall.
whorfin? does he know we're coming?
"doctor"--?
penny--?! are you all right?
she knows nothing, lizardo.
these antidote filters the professor's whipped up will let you to see them like i have since yesterday, as arachtoidal creatures. they won't be pretty, nothing personal, john parker. but just remember. if we fail tonight, there's no tomorrow.
i'm working under the assumption that penny still has the overthruster. that'll be my job: get it back in one piece. here's the main gate. i'll pass through first, alone. the rest of you divide into two strike groups-apache team. that's you, reno. and chaparral team, perfect tommy. john parker'll ride with chaparral.
top priority is the overthruster. whorfin can't escape without it. the built-in tracking device should make it relatively simple to locate. maybe hard to get.
can i have everyone's attention? i'm not a rah-rah kinda guy, and i'm not much for speeches, but things could get rough out there tonight. it's a fight we didn't ask for, but it's a fight we're stuck with and we all saw what happened to rawhide. so if for any reason this is good-bye, i want you all to know that. well. that. you crazy lugs.
let's just fry those arachtoids.
give me thirty minutes. then come in and mop up.
i thought you had it!
you're not getting a damn thing outta me until penny's safe.
i've got nothing but time.
you bloody--!
the missing circuit's in your head, whorfin.
john emdall told me.
thanks.
what is this thing? a fighter?
they haven't got enough power. they'll never penetrate!
the door's locked.
tell them to stop. they're your friends!
at least tell them i'm trying! tell 'em something--!
does this thing have guns, john parker?
take the throttle, john parker!
pull up! we did it! holy shit, we did it! pull up!
now!
all accounted for? where's penny?
got a casualty list?
and ask the american taxpayer to foot the bill? no way. send 'em back to the eighth dimension as soon as we find the overthruster. it wasn't in penny's purse. so if we have to run this joint upside down and inside out.
looks like one junior shield is in line for a ride in the jet car.
well, go ahead, what're you waiting for?
tell him yes on "1" and no on "2".
penny!
open your eyes! look at me! penny!