hi, i'm ashley. you guys are filmmakers?
aren't you kind of young?
i'm eighteen. don't worry.
don't worry. you guys relax and have a few drinks. by the time the night's over, you'll know i'm your girl. strip club montage:
okay.
uh huh. hey, did you guys shave or something? deacon looks at the other two, all three now beardless.
okay.
these yearbook photos of the debate club are making me so hot. i can't help myself. through matt's video display, ashley slowly strips off her clothes. but before we get too good a look, we
i hope no one catches me because i forgot to lock the door. oh, yeah. oh, god, yeah. fred's smile turns into nervous ogling. deacon crosses his legs and adjusts his shorts. matt wipes a bead of sweat from his brow. deacon whispers,
oh! oh! oh!
what? did i so something wrong? matt is quivering.
i couldn't help myself. please don't tell the principal.
so's his.
that's it?
i can see that. fred snickers and jake gives him the evil eye.
aaaahhhh!
me? how did you .  without even getting hard first?
now what? the guys regroup, away from ashley. the moment of truth: how far are they willing to go?
maybe i can pay for the pizza some other way.  we hear deacon's zipper opening offscreen as deacon rolls his eyes and reluctantly delivers his line:
deacon is talking about making out with fred.
if you guys want to do gay porn, you still have to pay me.
this summer tent-pole event-movie is making me so scared.
i'm deacon's girlfriend. ashley. mrs. lewis mr. lewis * his girlfriend? his girlfriend? *
we were having a make out party.
okay. oh, shit.
johnson sounds like a moron.
nineteen. but i tell people eighteen. deacon laughs nervously.
hi.
eighteen.
let her go.
fantasy and reality are two different things, deacon. don't fall in love with who you think she is. you have to be sure you love the real person.
go after her then. or don't. whatever. he looks at ashley for a beat, then goes after naomi.
yeah, but if you can break into films, like these ones, you can get featured dancing gigs and make ten times that much.
seriously. if these guys ever get their act together. matt stumbles in carrying a pile of scripts. fred walks in behind him and sees naomi.
this quadratic equation is so hard.
i'm out of here.
look. this is ridiculous. who does dress rehearsals for a porno shoot?
guys, i appreciate the money. it's nice to get paid for sitting around doing nothing, but this isn't helping my career. i've got no footage for my reel. she packs up.
sorry. she leaves.
mrs. lewis!
i, um, i'm.  i'm going where you're going.
yes. exactly.
it's my first time.
is essentially folded in half, her legs pinned well beyond her ears. she's obviously been in this position before.
yeah, people tell me that all the time. you know, i could teach you some of those moves. mr. lewis would love it.
uh huh.
uh huh.
um, no.
listen, mrs. lewis. you don't have to worry about deacon. he's a good kid. if you just let him make his own mistakes in life, he's going to turn out fine.
fantasy and reality are two different things. jump cut to:
fantasy and reality are two different things.  but deacon doesn't share naomi's contentment. he looks troubled.
of course it was weird. true love can only exist between two women. deacon is stunned.
just kidding. i don't know, deacon. do you like this girl? he hesitates a bit too long.
your heart is telling you that you don't. and i think it's time you start listening to your heart. deacon still doesn't get it.
look. i have to go on. just do whatever you want. or don't. whatever.
you, too, are someone whose kitchen i've never been in. another beat, then she grabs the bill out of his teeth, and quickly moves away.
hey, guys. ashley walks up to them. she looks hotter than ever, in a tiny midriff shirt and short shorts.
i need you.
i need you to make this movie. for my reel.
ooh, look. an eyelash. for the third time, time stands still as ashley gently pulls the errant eyelash from deacon's eye and offers it up to him.
make a wish. deacon is too entranced to close his eyes, but he does take the opportunity to blow the eyelash off her hand. she smiles and brushes back a strand of hair from his brow. the guys are hooked. up through the window, over on deacon's computer, the a.s.s. website is running, featuring roger's smiling face with the motto, "by virgins, for virgins." the counter is on fire.
but what about the capital gains?
hey, guys. i hope you don't mind, plantain and baxter want to be in the movie, too.
ira, i have something important to tell you.
this prom is making me so hot. i'm ready to lose my virginity to you tonight.
that was the best prom ever.
hey, guys. great party.
i've got some big news. i sent the reel to vivid and they want to fly me and coop to l.a. to talk about a contract.
sure.
are you kidding? come on, guys. you have it made. you're smart, funny, fun to be with. in a couple of years, girls will be dying to meet men like you.
well, no. popular, good looking guys always get the girls. hey, what was i supposed to say? then, roger wheels by, arm in arm with his hairdresser. no more braces and headgear, roger looks sharp with slicked back hair and suave clothes.
let me tell you something about deacon. that boy is amazing in bed.
ashley. deacon's ex.
seriously. have your boyfriends ever given you an orgasm?
have you ever felt so completely satisfied in bed that you just wanted to sleep for a week?
you're wasting your time giving those neanderthals blowjobs. i mean, they'll probably wind up unemployed wife beaters anyway.
matt and fred? i don't think so. but if you're interested, you better move fast. those guys know how to do this thing .  she whispers something to wendy and kelly. they look shocked. ashley walks off.
how's naomi?
i thought she was your fantasy girl.
you're gonna dump her.
very good, deacon. deacon is confused.
oh, nothing. i guess i'm just glad that you finally figured it out. a moment of realization.
i guess. or not. whatever. deacon smiles. he finally understands that ashley really does care about him. ashley kisses him on the cheek and exits off into the horizon.