who could have figured it would come to this. it'll be twenty years this week that i lost my entire squadron over macho grande. planes, too.
after the war, i couldn't go near anything with a pair of wings.
that is, until fate dropped me on the seat of my pants at the stick of a 167 into chicago with no crew.
it's funny how fate can make heroes out of cowards.
then came the job offers.
the publicity.
even the key to the city of new york.
now look at me.
next thing i know, i'm the chief test pilot for the xr-2300, nasa's first mercury shuttle. that is, until i report she's got more flaws than the titanic.
now i'm testing old f-l8s for some crazy generalissimo who thinks there's a commie behind every tree in the amazon.
my god! they're launching the zr-2300. do you know what that is, jose?
no, that's an xr-2200. the xr-2300 is the mercury shuttle. they can't do it!
taxi!
houston, texas.
right at the corner, left at the light. here's a map and step on it!
here's three bucks. keep the change.
i have to stop that flight.
where can i find mission control?
thanks.
mission control?
that's strange. i just came from over there.
elaine.
that's not important now, elaine. we have to talk.
are you on the mercury mission?
it's got to be stopped!
i mean the mercury flight. it's not safe and, kurtz, you know why.
look at this wiring. it's shorting out under high temperatures.
i know you've been subtly spreading the word that i'm having a breakdown.
you won't get away with this, simon!
ask simon.
there's nothing wrong with me!
you're as bad as the rest of them, elaine! it's all here in the design specifications! look! it's all here!
i'm perfectly sane.
uh.  oh, thank you. it's nothing.
not dr. barrington, the world renowned agronomist?
i'm familiar with your work, doctor. you'll have to excuse me, i have to go.
elaine.
elaine, what happened to us?
elaine, someone has to listen to me. i'm going right to mission control.
sammy davis junior. terrible car accident. he hasn't been the same since.
elaine, when are you going to realize simon kurtz put me in here to get me out of the way.
his name's david stockman. he's been here twenty years, that's all he says.
no goodbyes, elaine. just go.
that's the way i want it. just turn the radio on and go.
i might have two tens.
i have to see bud kruger.
no, dammit. it's a matter of life or death.
all right, it's a matter of death.
don't try to stop me!
that's strange. i just came from.
elaine.
i have to get in there. i have to stop this flight.
let me by, elaine.
elaine!
i've got it, elaine! i've figured out what's wrong with the shuttle!
not now, elaine!
oh.  popular electronics.
here. i need some oxygen.
elaine.
elaine, we have to go back.
elaine, i mean the mission has to be aborted. this ship should never have passed fsa inspection. this thing is held together by string and chewing gum.
then you do think i'm insane.
what word would you use, elaine?
what would you say if i told you the toilet just blew up in my face.
there's something dangerously wrong with this ship, elaine. i know its the wiring. that toilet's just the tip of the iceberg.
i'm getting over it. if a relationship isn't working, you can't force it.
i opened this panel and a vacuum cleaner hit me.
we were in love but i'm not sure i know what love is anymore.
people change in relation to each other. love changes on its own.
sure. but that's only when the love itself goes unchanged.
i just wish it was that simple. we really were in love. you know how it is when you laugh all the time.
well, we laughed. we laughed all the time.
we laughed when times were good.
even when times weren't so good, we still laughed.
but most of all, we laughed when we felt closest to each other.
that's our story.
they kept me in the asylum for eight months. i know everyone in those places claims they're sane, but i was different, i was sane.
maybe you gotta be crazy to end up behind the eight ball like this. anyway, you find out pretty fast who your friends are when you're on the lamb.
i'm going out for cigarettes and a fifth of bourbon. don't wait up for me.
virgin wool. nothin' but headaches.
i travelled at night in the shadows. i didn't want to attract attention.
i was afraid to step out of the doorways. you never know what to expect when you're on the run.
there i was, minding my own business when i looked up and saw a pair of legs that went forever.
but i had a date with harry's. it was little more than a hole in a wall on the south side of chicago.
harry's was perfect for me. the kind of place you go if you don't want to be recognized.
it was rough, real rough.
the kind of place you could score anything, from junk.
to phil donahue's book.
at harry's you could count on a fight breaking out almost every night.
there was a small trio in one corner.
and a larger trio in the other corner.
the last thing i wanted was elaine to see me down on my luck. well, it was just my luck. in she walked with a group from the space program.
they'd come to harry's to slum it and try their hand at the video bull.
elaine made that ride look easy. it was obvious why i was still nuts about her. she loved life. i didn't want her to notice me so i borrowed a pair of dark glasses.
grabbed an alto sax and joined the group.
i stayed in the background not wanting to draw attention to myself.
then what happened? elaine's crowd talks her into joining us for a song.
kurtz, you're drunk. who's in command of this ship?
then elaine was right.
pull yourself together! we've got to.
i'm feeling just fine, son. just fine.
elaine!
elaine, what's going on?
we all make mistakes, elaine.
that's all behind us now, elaine. and no matter what happens, i want you to know i've always loved you.
this is mayflower one calling mission control. do you read me? over.
the name's ted striker and i'm sitting down and facing the front.
an electrical fire in the core has played havoc with the rok-4000 computer. it's locked us on a direct line with the sun and there's no way we can go to manual. captain oveur already tried it and he's.
 become an intolerable bore. the rest of the crew has been lost and we're out of coffee. also, we're starting to feel the sun's heat pretty bad.
i'm afraid you gave the wrong speech. mccrosky. i'm not your problem. it's this ship. that computer's gone bananas.
let us handle this end of things. now what's the coffee situation?
elaine, i'm going back there. just hold onto that stick and try to control this hunk of tin as best you can.
check.
it looks like the solder point has melted.
contact.
not now, elaine.
we're closer to the sun than i estimated.
this is striker.
kurtz was the one who got us into this mess in the first place. you people knew this ship wasn't ready to fly. you played god with over a hundred lives, kruger, and for what -- the prestige of your precious space program.
call me a bleeding heart, but if we get through this thing i'm preparing a paper on alternative spending directives recommending the transfer of space program funds to low cost housing.
well, elaine, this might be it if those guys on the ground don't think of something.
that might be the news we've been waiting for.
roger.
which passenger is joe salucci?
he's carrying a bomb.
no, a bomb. now, as discreetly as possible, i want you to move the passengers into the lounge.
anything. just don't let salucci think we're onto him.
mr. salucci, listen to me.
joe, you don't want to blow that thing and kill all these innocent people.
joe, the insurance policy won't help your wife and kids. you bought auto insurance, not life insurance.
that's right, joe. now, no one's going to hurt you and no one has to know what's wrong with you.
i'm sure.
this heat's getting unbearable.
i know what you're going to say, mccrosky -- knock out the wall between the cockpit and cabin and hang plants.
why, you'd have to be crazy to try a stunt like that.
elaine. i'm going back there.
sit down, elaine. if this bomb trick works we just might make it. simon was a fool to eject now.
that's right -- premature ejection.
the sun will heat that thing to over 450 degrees within seconds. he'll roast like a pig on a spit.
are you afraid?
i guess you'd have to be a fool not to be afraid at a time like this.
you better strap yourself in, testa. mission control, this is mayflower. over.
we've got about 60 seconds before that thing blows. we're set to reprogram for mercury at zero point five worp.
we've blown the computer! elaine! set course change!
now!
here goes.
point five worp!
kramer, the worp control handle just came off in my hand.
there are no more handles, only switches.
just switches, lights, and knobs.
screw driver!
thanks. i've got something that might work.
a bobby pin.
it's working.
she's coming apart!
i'm trying but she's fighting me!