that's right.
yes. yes, of course.
pain there?
may i see your tongue, please?
i'll be back in a minute.
you'd better tell the captain. we've got to land as soon as we can. this woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
it's a big building with patients. but that's not important right now. tell the captain i must speak to him.
captain, how soon can we land?
can't you take a guess?
you can't take a guess for another two hours?
i'm not sure. i haven't seen anything like this since the lina wertmuller film festival.
what was it we had for dinner tonight?
yes, yes, i remember. i had lasagna.
what did he have?
let's see now. the co-pilot had fish. what did the navigator eat?
all right, now we know what we're up against. every passenger on this plane who ate fish for dinner will become violently ill within the next half hour.
extremely serious. it starts with a slight fever.
then a dryness in the throat. as the virus penetrates the red blood cells the victim becomes dizzy and begins to experience a rash and itching. from there the poison works its way into the central nervous system causing severe muscle spasms, followed by the inevitable drooling. at this point, the entire digestive system is rendered useless, causing the complete collapse of the lower bowels, accompanied by uncontrollable flatulence. until finally the poor bastard is reduced to a quivering, wasted piece of jelly.
i'll get back to the passengers.
what the hell's going on up there?
elaine, you're a member of this crew. can you face some unpleasant facts?
all right. unless i can get all these people to a hospital quickly, i can't even be sure of saving their lives. now, is there anyone else on board who can land this plane?
i think you ought to know what our chances are. the life of everyone on board depends on just one thing: finding someone back there who not only can fly this plane, but who didn't have fish for dinner.
can you fly this airplane and land it?
i am serious, and don't call me shirley! what flying experience have you had?
mister striker. i know nothing about flying. all i know is this: you're the only person on this plane who can possibly fly it. you're the only chance we've got.
elaine, i haven't time to put this gently, so i'll be very direct. everyone of us on this plane is in a desperate situation. mister striker is the only hope we've got.
get back to your seat; i'll take care of this.
calm down. calm down. get hold of yourself!
all right. i'm going to level with you. the most important thing now is that you should all be calm, because there's no reason to panic.
now, it is true that one of the flight crew has been taken ill. slightly ill.
but the other two pilots are just fine and at the controls flying the plane.
the weather in chicago is clear as a bell, and there's no reason that we won't land on schedule.
safe and sound and free to pursue a life of religious fulfillment.
will the hospital equipment be at the airport?
i won't deceive you, mister striker. we're running out of time.
i'm doing everything i can! -- and stop calling me shirley!
randy, are you all right?
randy, we're going to make it. you've got to believe that.
it will be pretty soon. how are you bearing up?
no. i haven't a thing to say. you've done the best you could. you really have. the best you could. i guess we can't expect to win 'em all. i want to tell you something i've kept to myself for years. i was in the war myself -- the medical corps. i was on duty late one night when a badly wounded pilot was brought in from a raid. he could barely talk, but he looked at me and he said, "doc. the odds were against us up there but we went in anyway, and i'm glad we did. the captain made the right decision." the pilot's name was george zipp.
and the last thing he said to me, "doc," he said, "sometime when the crew is up against it and the breaks are beating the boys, tell them to go out there with all they've got and win just one for the zipper. i don't know where i'll be then, doc," he said, "but i won't smell too good. that's for sure."
i just wanted to tell you both good luck. we're all counting on you.
i just wanted to tell you both good luck. we're all counting on you.
i just wanted to tell you both good luck. we're all counting on you.