miaouw! miaouw! mouse-wouse? it's puss-wuss, fangs-wangs. paws-claws. pounce-bounce!
i am! i am! i'm stopping it - slowly. you see! look, i've stopped. now we are going back.
yes! back! back! listen - don't you know where you are?
we are in the residence of the fartsbishop of salzburg.
go ahead, tell him. tell them all. they won't understand you anyway.
because here everything goes backwards. people walk backwards, dance backwards, sing backwards, and talk backwards.
why? people fart backwards.
yes, i think it's brilliant. you've been doing it for years.
sra-i'm-sick! sra-i'm sick!
no, no. say it backwards, shit-wit. sra-i'm-sick say it backwards!
em iram! em iram!
no, this is serious. say it backwards.
just say it - you'll see. it's very serious. em iram! em iram!
ui-vol-i-tub!
tish-i'm tee. what's that?
tish-i'm-tee.
yes.
my music! they've started! they've started without me!
certainly!
well, i think that went off remarkably well, don't you?
these viennese certainly know good music when they hear it.
what do you mean?
why what, sir?
humiliated?
if his grace is not satisfied with me, he can dismiss me.
no, your grace! i mean with all humility, no. i would rather you dismissed me. it's obvious i don't satisfy.
excuse me!
and the other one?
and the other one?
oh, they're both so beautiful, i can't decide. why don't i have two heads?
your majesty!
oh, thank you.
oh sir, yes! the honour is mine. absolutely.
i know your work well, signore. do you know i actually composed some variations on a melody of yours?
mio caro adone.
a funny little tune, but it yielded some good things.
really? oh, grazie, signore! sono commosso! e un onore per mo eccezionale. compositore brilliante e famossissimo!
majesty!
oh, german! german! please let it be german.
because i've already found the most wonderful libretto!
i - i don't think you have, herr director. not yet. i mean, it's quite n - of course, i'll show it to you immediately.
it's actually quite amusing, majesty. it's set - the whole thing is set in a - in a -
in a pasha's harem, majesty. a seraglio.
exactly.
well not especially. it can be in turkish, if you really want. i don't care.
why not? it's charming. i mean, i don't actually show concubines exposing their! their! it's not indecent! it's highly moral, majesty. it's full of proper german virtues. i swear it. absolutely!
love, sire!
no, i don't think you do. i mean watching italian opera, all those male sopranos screeching. stupid fat couples rolling their eyes about! that's not love - it's just rubbish.
majesty, you choose the language. it will be my task to set it to the finest music ever offered a monarch.
keep it, sire, if you want to. it is already here in my head.
i think so, sire, yes.
the rest is just the same, isn't it?
that really doesn't work, does it?
did you try this? wouldn't it be just a little more -?
or this - yes, this! better.
it is new, it is, isn't it, sire?
and german?
so then you like it? you really like it, your majesty?
what do you mean, sire?
i don't understand. there are just as many notes, majesty, as are required. neither more nor less.
but this is absurd!
which few did you have in mind, majesty?
majesty, this is madame weber. she is my landlady.
well - well we haven't quite received my father's consent, your majesty. not entirely. not altogether.
twenty-six.
katherina! i'll tell you what i'm going to do. i'm going to write another aria for you. something even more amazing for the second act. i have to get some water. her mother is lying on the stage.
what?
i'll be right back.
you should really go home now, frau weber. your carriage must be waiting.
i have to talk to the singers.
oh - excuse me!
no, she's fine.
did you like it, then?
it really is the best music one can hear in vienna today. don't you agree?
what??
of course.
excuse us, fraulein. good night, signore.
i will.
most beloved father, it is done. do not blame me that i did not wait to see your dear face. i knew you would have tried to dissuade me from my truest happiness and i could not have borne it. your every word is precious to me. remember how you have always told me vienna is the city of musicians. to conquer here is to conquer europe! with my wife i can do it. i vow i will become regular in my habits and productive as never before. she is wonderful, papa, and i know that you will love her. and one day soon when i am a wealthy man, you will come and live with us, and we will be so happy. i long for that day, best of papas, and kiss your hand a hundred thousand times.
what is this, herr chamberlain?
why do i have to submit samples of my work to some stupid committee? just to teach a sixteen-year-old girl.
is the emperor angry with me?
then why doesn't he simply appoint me to the post?
no, but i'm the best.
who is on this committee?
naturally, the italians! of course! always the italians!
they hate my music. it terrifies them. the only sound italians understand is banality. tonic and dominant, tonic and dominant, from here to resurrection! ba-ba! ba-ba! ba-ba! ba-ba! anything else is morbid.
show them one interesting modulation and they faint. ohime! morbidezza! morbidezza! italians are musical idiots and you want them to judge my music!
must i? well, i won't! i tell you straight: i will not!
oh, leave me alone.
they'll come anyway. they love me here.
oh yes? you always know everything.
you borrowed money from your mother?
well, don't do that again!
don't be stupid.
shut up! just shut up! i don't need them.
stanzi! stanzi! stanzi-manzi!
sssh!
sssh! stay here.
stanzi? how's my mouse? mouse-wouse? i'm back - puss-wuss is back!
stanzi!
what's the matter? what is it? stanzi!
stop it now. stop it. i've brought some friends to meet you. they're next door waiting. do we have anything to eat? they're all starving.
what's the matter with you?
sssh. what is it? tell me.
yes!
your excellency, you requested some specimens of my work. here they are. i don't have to tell you how much i need your help. i truly appreciate your looking at these. i have pressures on me - financial pressures. as you know, i'm a married man now.
she is well. she is - well, actually, i'm about to become a father! she only told me last night. you are the first to know.
so you see, this post is very important to me right now.
why? here is the music. it's here. i am submitting it humbly. isn't that what you wanted?
filled? that's impossible! they haven't even seen my work. i need this post. please, can't you help me? please!
whom did they choose?
sommer? herr sommer? but the man's a fool! he's a total mediocrity.
but i can't lose this post, i simply can't! excellency, please. let's go to the palace, and you can explain to the emperor that herr sommer is an awful choice. he could actually do musical harm to the princess!
look, i must have pupils. without pupils i can't manage.
no, but i'm broke. i'm always broke. i don't know why.
how can anyone say that? we have no cook, no maid. we have no footman. nothing at all!
they're stupendously successful. you can't get a seat. the only problem is none will hire me. they all want to hear me play, but they won't let me teach their daughters. as if i was some kind of fiend. i'm not a fiend!
do you have a daughter?
well, could you lend me some money till you have one? then i'll teach her for free. that's a promise. oh, i'm sorry. i'm being silly. papa's right - i should put a padlock on my mouth. seriously, is there any chance you could manage a loan? only for six months, eight at most. after that i'll be the richest man in vienna. i'll pay you back double. anything. name your terms. i'm not joking. i'm working on something that's going to explode like a bomb all over europe!
i'd better not. it's a bit of a secret.
actually, it's a big secret. oh, this is delicious! what is it?
ah. italian?
two thousand, two hundred florins is all i need a hundred? fifty?
i can't say. really
and which one of them do you want me to teach?
madame.
i'm afraid i am.
really?
good morning, fraulein schlumberg.
i'd like a little wine, if you have it.
now, please play me something. just to give me an idea. anything will do.
well, yes! on the whole. i suppose. how long have you been playing, fraulein?
who was your teacher?
thank you, madame. come on now - courage. play me something you know.
perhaps it would be better if we were left alone. i think we're both a little shy.
perhaps if i were to play a little first, it might encourage the fraulein. why don't you let me try the instrument? all right?
well, i'm a good teacher. the next time you wish me to instruct another of your dogs, please let me know. goodbye, fraulein, goodbye, madame! goodbye, sir!
papa! papa!
why are you here?
of course, welcome! welcome ten thousand times. papa! my papa!
feed? well, of course she feeds me. she stuffs me like a goose all day long. she's the best cook in the world. i mean, since mama. just wait, you'll see.
i don't know. stanzi? stanzi!
oh, yes. oh, i mean no - not exactly like this. i mean today - just today, stanzi - i remember now. she had to go - yes! she had to help her mother. yes, she's like that. her mother's a very sweet woman, you'll see.
oh! i didn't know you were home. stanzi, this is my father.
we'll wait, we'll wait. why don't you get up now, darling?
she's very tired, poor creature. you know me: i'm a real pig. it's not so easy cleaning up after me.
oh we could, if we wanted to, but stanzi won't hear of it. she wants to do everything herself.
it couldn't be better.
what do you mean? it's wonderful. really, it's - it's marvelous! people love me here.
who? who says that? now that's a malicious lie!
pupils?
yes.
i don't know. it's not important. i mean, i don't want pupils. they get in the way. i've got to have time for composition.
this one will.
oh, let's not talk about it.
it's a secret.
it's too dangerous, papa. but they're going to love it. ah, there she is!
my stanzi - look at her! isn't she beautiful? come on now, confess, papa. could you want a prettier girl for a daughter?
he's not herr mozart. call him papa.
isn't that marvelous? we're delighted.
didn't i? i thought i did. i'm sure i did.
tea? who wants tea? let's go out! this calls for a feast. you don't want tea, papa. let's go dancing. papa loves parties, don't you?
what? how can you be so boring? tea!
why not? oh, come, papa! what better way could i spend it than on you? my kissable, missable, suddenly visible papa!
this is just a game, papa.
oh no, papa, please! don't spoil the fun. come on. here, take mine.
yes, papa, name it. name it. i'll do anything you say!
papa, the rule is you can only give penalties that can be performed in the room.
but my penalty. i've got to have a penalty.
oh, that's really too easy. any child can do that.
give me a name. who shall i do? give me a name.
now that's hard. that's very hard. for salieri one has to face the right way around.
what is it?
what does she want?
well, ask her!
oh, damn!
yes?
that's right.
what?
are you saying that someone is paying you to be our maid and doesn't want us to know who he is?
papa, is this your idea?
are you playing a trick on me?
stanzi!
papa!
no one calls you that.
thank you, sire!
baron!
majesty, may i ask you to do me the greatest favour?
may i introduce my father? he is on a short visit here and returning very soon to salzburg. he would so much like to kiss your hand. it would make his whole stay so memorable for him.
father -
yes, sire.
who told you this, majesty?
well, yes, i admit it is.
well, majesty, it is only a comedy.
but, your majesty -
sire, i swear to your majesty, there's nothing like that in the story. i have taken out everything that could give offense. i hate politics.
but, majesty, this is just a frolic. it's a piece about love.
but it's new, it's entirely new. it's so new, people will go mad for it. for example, i have a scene in the second act - it starts as a duet, just a man and wife quarreling. suddenly the wife's scheming little maid comes in unexpectedly - a very funny situation. duet turns into trio. then the husband's equally screaming valet comes in. trio turns into quartet. then a stupid old gardener - quartet becomes quintet, and so on. on and on, sextet, septet, octet! how long do you think i can sustain that?
guess! guess, majesty. imagine the longest time such a thing could last, then double it.
twenty, sire! how about twenty? twenty minutes of continuous music. no recitatives.
sire, only opera can do this. in a play, if more than one person speaks at the same time, it's just noise. no one can understand a word. but with music, with music you can have twenty individuals all talking at once, and it's not noise - it's a perfect harmony. isn't that marvelous?
elevated? what does that mean? elevated! the only thing a man should elevate is - oh, excuse me. i'm sorry. i'm stupid. but i am fed up to the teeth with elevated things! old dead legends! how can we go on forever writing about gods and legends?
oh, bello, bello, bello! come on now, be honest. wouldn't you all rather listen to your hairdressers than hercules? or horatius? or orpheus? all those old bores! people so lofty they sound as if they shit marble!
forgive me, majesty. i'm a vulgar man. but i assure you, my music is not.
sire, the whole opera is finished. do you know how much work went into it?
how can i persuade you if you won't let me show it?
just let me tell you how it begins.
may i just do that, majesty? show you how it begins? just that?
look! there's a servant, down on his knees. do you know why? not from any oppression. no, he's simply measuring a space. do you know what for? his bed. his wedding bed to see if it will fit.
certainly, herr director.
five minutes, please!
yes, but this is not a ballet. this is a dance at figaro's wedding.
but surely the emperor didn't mean to prohibit dancing when it's part of the story.
what are you doing?
what are you doing, herr director?
please! please. i've no one else to turn to. please!
it's unbelievable! the director has actually ripped out a huge section of my music. pages of it.
i don't know. they say i've got to re-write the opera, but it's perfect as it is. i can't rewrite what's perfect. can't you talk to him?
oh, i could kill him! i mean really kill him. i actually threw the entire opera on the fire, he made me so angry!
oh no! my wife took it out in time.
it's not fair that a man like that has power over our work.
oh, excellency, would you?
thank you! oh, thank you.
oh yes, certainly. certainly, herr director!
ladies and gentlemen, we're going from where we stopped. the count: anches so. right away, please!
nine performances! nine! that's all it's had - and withdrawn.
but what is it they don't like?
what did you think of it yourself? did you like it at all?
it's the best opera yet written. i know it! why didn't they come?
i know, i know. perhaps you should give me some lessons in that.
oh no, the honour would be all mine.
grazie, a lei, signor antonio!
well?
that kind of music should be punishable by death.
how could i not?
how could it not, excellency?
i never knew that music like that was possible.
oh no! one hears such sounds and what can one say, but - salieri!
oh. everybody's here! we've got guests. good. i've brought some more.
we'll have a little party. come in. come in. you know herr schikaneder? this is! a very nice girl.
yes, my love?
salzburg. we were just talking about salzburg. if you've come from my friend the fartsbishop, you've arrived at just the right moment. because i've got good news for him. i'm done with vienna. it's over, finished, done with! done with! done with!
what?
wonderful! he liked the monkey, didn't you?
i liked the horse.
i'd like to try them someday. i'm not sure i'd be much good at it.
animals?
german!
no, no, i love that. i'd want it to be in german. i haven't done anything in german since seraglio.
half the receipts! stanzi!
why not? half the house!
oh, stanzi.
well, you liked it, didn't you? monkey-flunki-punki.
stanzi-manzi, i'll put it in your hand!
is my pupil still anxious to learn the art of music?
really? perhaps your dear wife might care to profit from my instruction?
well. since it appears nobody is eager to hire my services, could you favour me with a little money instead?
if a man cannot earn, he must borrow.
no doubt, sir. but i am endowed with talent, and you with money. if i offer mine, you should offer yours.
please. i'll give it back, i promise. please, sir.
please. please. please. please. please. please.
what work?
what dead? who is dead?
who are you?
how much?
how long will you give me?
no one.
i'm not telling you.
you'd think i was mad.
no. don't answer it!
tell him i'm not here. tell him i'm working on it. come back later.
leave that alone!
put it down!
put it down, i said! it's nothing for you.
what?
yes.
no.
because there's nothing to see.
well, we can.
here. it's all right here, in my noodle. the rest is just scribbling. scribbling and bibbling. bibbling and scribbling. would you like a drink?
i don't have it yet. it's not finished. i'm sorry, but i need more time.
no, no! i promise you, i'll give you a wonderful piece - the best i ever can!
this is my wife, stanzi. i've been sick, but i'm all right now. aren't i?
give me two more weeks. please.
i can't write it!
it's killing me.
go back to bed.
stanzi? stanzi-marini-bini?
what happened? is it over?
no, no. i have to get back. i have -
papa! papa!
not here! she's not well, either. she went to the spa.
you're so good to me. truly. thank you.
i mean to come to my opera. you are the only colleague who did.
this is only a vaudeville.
do you mean that?
i have bad fancies. i don't sleep well anymore. then i drink too much, and think stupid things.
the doctor thinks i am. but -
i'm too young to be so sick.
no! no, it's him!
the man. he's here.
tell him to go away. tell him i'm still working on it. don't let him in!
wait! ask him if he'd give me some money now. tell him if he would, that would help me finish it.
he knows. he knows!
what happened?
another? but that's too soon! tomorrow night? it's impossible! did he say a hundred?
would you? actually, you could.
but you'd have to swear not to tell a soul. i'm not allowed.
you know, it's all here in my head. it's just ready to be set down. but when i'm dizzy like this my eyes won't focus. i can't write.
a mass. a mass for the dead.
where did i stop?
so now the confutatis. confutatis maledictis. when the wicked are confounded. flammis acribus addictis. how would you translate that?
do you believe in it?
a fire which never dies. burning one forever?
strange!
we ended in f major?
so now - a minor. suddenly.
the fire.
common time.
start with the voices. basses first. second beat of the first measure -
third measure, second beat starting on e. flam-mis a-cri-bus ad-dic-tis. and fourth measure, fourth beat - d. ma-le-dic-tis, flam-mis a-cri-bus ad- dic-tis. do you have that?
sing it back.
good. now the tenors. fourth beat of the first measure - c. con-fu-ta-tis. second measure, fourth beat on d. ma-le-dic-tis. all right?
fourth measure, second beat - f. flam-mis a-cri-bus ad-dic-tis, flam- mis a-cri-bus ad-dic-tis.
now the orchestra. second bassoon and bass trombone with the basses. identical notes and rhythm. the first bassoon and tenor trombone -
it couldn't be simpler.
with the tenors.
exactly. the instruments to go with the voices. trumpets and timpani, tonic and dominant.
oh no. now for the fire. strings in unison - ostinato on all - like this.
second measure on b.
do you have me?
show me.
good, good - yes! put it down. and the next measures exactly the same, rising and rising - c to d to e, up to the dominant chord. do you see?
yes, yes - go on. the voca me. suddenly sotto voce. write that down: sotto voce, pianissimo. voca me cum benedictis. call me among the blessed.
c major. sopranos and altos in thirds. altos on c. sopranos above. vo-ca, vo-ca me, vo-ca me cum be-ne- dic-tis.
yes, and on 'dictis'.
and underneath, just violins - arpeggio.
the descending scale in eighth notes, and then back suddenly to the fire again.
and that's it. do you have it?
do you have it?
then let me hear it. all of it. the whole thing from the beginning - now!
do you want to rest a bit?
we'll stop for just a moment. then we'll do the lacrimosa.
would you stay with me while i sleep a little?
i am so ashamed.
i was foolish. i thought you did not care for my work - or me. forgive me. forgive me!