good morning, jim! i just love your tie! that color! well, i'll tell you. egg shells and miracle grow. jane. honey. are you trying to look unattractive? well, congratulations. you've succeeded admirably. lester, could you make me a little later, please? because i'm not quite late enough. --there is no decision, you just write the damn thing! possibly. but you don't want to be unemployed. could you be just a little bit more dramatic, please, huh? so we've finally got new neighbors. you know, if the lomans had let me represent them, instead of-- --"the real estate king," that house would never have sat on the market for six months. their sycamore? c'mon! a substantial portion of the root structure was on our property. you know that. how can you call it their sycamore? i wouldn't have the heart to just cut down something if it wasn't partially mine, which of course it was. no. no, we don't. as soon as you've prepared a nutritious yet savory meal that i'm about to eat, you can listen to whatever you like. what?! what? i will sell this house today. i will sell this house today. i will sell this house today. i will sell this house today. i will sell this house today. welcome. i'm carolyn burnham! this living room is very dramatic. wait 'til you see the native stone fireplace! a simple cream would really lighten things up. you could even put in a skylight. well, why don't we go into the kitchen? it's a dream come true for any cook. just filled with positive energy. huh? and you'll be surprised how much a ceiling fan can cut down on your energy costs. you know, you could have some really fun backyard get-togethers out here. what do you call this? is this not a plant? if you have a problem with the plants, i can always call my landscape architect. solved. i have some tiki torches in the garage. shut up. stop it. you. weak! weak. baby. shut up. shut up! shut up! of course not. she doesn't want us to know how important this is to her. but she's been practicing her steps for weeks. lester, this is important. i'm sensing a real distance growing between you and jane. she's just willful. hi! i really enjoyed that! nice to meet you, angela. honey, i'm so proud of you. i watched you very closely, and you didn't screw up once. okay, we have to go. --everyone here is with their spouse or their significant other. how would it look if i showed up with no one? now listen to me. this is an important business function. as you know, my business is selling an image. and part of my job is to live that image-- hi, shirley! listen, just do me a favor. act happy tonight? oh! buddy! buddy! buddy. hi! good to see you again. carolyn. very well, thank you. hello, christy. my husband, lester-- honey. don't be weird. you know, i probably wouldn't even tell you this if i weren't a little tipsy, but. i am in complete awe of you. i mean, your firm is, hands down, the rolls royce of local real estate firms, and your personal sales record is, is, is very intimidating. you know, i'd love to sit down with you and just pick your brain, if you'd ever be willing. i suppose, technically, i'm the "competition," but. i mean, hey, i don't flatter myself that i'm even in the same league as you. really? i'll do that. thank you. lester? what are you doing? hi. i'm ready to go. i'll meet you out front. yes, of course! what are you doing? you were masturbating. yes, you were. that's disgusting. so do i! lester. i refuse to live like this. this is not a marriage. oh. i see. you think you're the only one who's sexually frustrated? do not mess with me, mister, or i will divorce you so fast it'll make your head spin! what the hell do you think you're doing? i see you're smoking pot now. i'm so glad. i think using illegal psychotropic substances is a very positive example to set for our daughter. lester. you have such hostility in you! you will not get away with this. you can be sure of that! buddy. what's she doing in new york? buddy. i'm so sorry. when i saw you two at the party the other night, you seemed perfectly happy. yes! oh, god! i love it! oh yes! i love it! fuck me, your majesty! that was exactly what i needed. the royal treatment, so to speak. i was so stressed out. what? really. i've never fired a gun before. no, no, that's quite all right, dear. your father and i were just discussing his day at work. why don't you tell our daughter about it, honey? your father seems to think this kind of behavior is something to be proud of. how dare you speak to me that way in front of her? and i marvel that you can be so contemptuous of me, on the same day that you lose your job! oh! oh! and i want to thank you for putting me under the added pressure of being the sole breadwinner now-- no, no, don't give a second thought as to who's going to pay the mortgage. we'll just leave it all up to carolyn. you mean, you're going to take care of everything now, carolyn? yes. i don't mind. i really don't. you mean, everything? you don't mind having the sole responsibility, your husband feels he can just quit his job-- oh, you don't complain? oh, excuse me. excuse me. i must be psychotic then, if you don't complain. what is this?! am i locked away in a padded cell somewhere, hallucinating? that's the only explanation i can think of-- honey, please let me in. i wish that you hadn't witnessed that awful scene tonight. but in a way, i'm glad. me? no, i'm glad because you're old enough now to learn the most important lesson in life: you cannot count on anyone except yourself. you cannot count on anyone except yourself. it's sad, but true, and the sooner you learn it, the better. you ungrateful little brat. just look at everything you have. when i was your age, i lived in a duplex. we didn't even have our own house. well, all i know is. i love shooting this gun! ah, whose car is that out front? where's the camry? shouldn't you have consulted me first? where's jane? joyless?! i am not joyless! there happens to be a lot about me that you don't know, mister smarty man. there is plenty of joy in my life. lester. you're going to spill beer on the couch. this is a four thousand dollar sofa upholstered in italian silk. this is not "just a couch." jane, hurry up. i've got a very important appointment-- well, of course, she's always welcome. you know, i thought maybe you two had a fight. i haven't seen her around here in a while. what's good here? then i guess we'll just have to be bad, won't we? i think i'll have a double smiley sandwich and curly fries, and a vanilla shake. i think we deserve a little junk food, after the workout we had this morning. we were just at a seminar. buddy, this is my-- you know, this really doesn't concern you. oh, lester-- lester, just stop it! oh, no. i understand completely. in order to be successful, one must project an image of success. at all times. stop it. stop it! i refuse to be a victim. i refuse to be a victim. i refuse to be a victim. i refuse to be a victim. lester, i have something i have to say to you.