i need a father who's a role model, not some horny geek-boy who's gonna spray his shorts whenever i bring a girlfriend home from school. what a lame-o. somebody really should put him out of his misery.
yeah, would you?
yes.
nice going, dad.
mom, do we always have to listen to this elevator music?
it was okay.
no, dad. it was spec-tac-ular.
well, what do you expect? you can't all of a sudden be my best friend, just because you had a bad day.
i mean, hello. you've barely even spoken to me for months.
oh, great. so now it's my fault?
my parents are coming tonight. they're trying to, you know, take an active interest in me.
they're such assholes. why can't they just have their own lives?
oh shit, they're still here.
i didn't win anything.
this is my friend, angela hayes.
dad.
dad. mom's waiting for you.
could he be any more pathetic?
i'm sorry my dad was so weird tonight.
vomit.
i really think it'll happen for you.
asshole.
hello?
i didn't.
i was in the shower.
oh, gross.
oh my god. that's the pervert who filmed me last night.
you know him?
why? what did he do?
well, they can't put you away just for saying weird things.
what? please.
shut up.
i know. i kinda remember this really creepy incident when you were filming me last night?
thanks, but i really don't need to have some psycho obsessing about me right now.
he's like, so confident. that can't be real.
oh, shit. they're home. quick, let's go up to my room.
mom, you remember angela.
i forgot to tell you, she's spending the night. is that okay?
i'm sorry about my dad.
yeah, to you, he's just another guy who wants to jump your bones. but to me.  he's just too embarrassing to live.
shut up.
shut up.
you are so grossing me out right now.
yeah, it was the sound of you being a huge disgusting pig.
shit. i bet he's filming us right now.
look. i want you to stop filming me.
do you need a ride?
i think i'm going to walk, too.
so how do you like your new house?
the people who used to live there fed these stray cats, so they were always around, and it drove my mother nuts. and then she cut down their tree.
no. have you?
why would you film that?
what was amazing about it?
and what do you see?
hi.
i take it he's got a thing for guns.
did you steal his keys?
oh my god.
nothing.
no i'm not.
oh my god. what time is it?
sorry i'm late.
okay, i'm not going to be a part of this--
go. away.
why, so i could see what freaks you and dad really are?
aw, christ, mom.
look, mom, i really don't feel like having a kodak moment here, okay?
don't.
it's weird, watching myself. i don't like how i look.
i'm not going to sit here for that shit.
ha. how does it feel now?
you don't feel naked?
you know what i mean.
tell me about being in the hospital.
wow. you must really hate him.
well.  you better believe i'd hate my father if he did something like that to me. wait. i do hate my father.
he's a total asshole and he's got this crush on my friend angela and it's disgusting.
gross, no! but it'd be nice if i was anywhere near as important to him as she is.
i know you think my dad's harmless, but you're wrong. he's doing massive psychological damage to me.
well, now, i too need structure. a little fucking discipline.
i'm serious, though. how could he not be damaging me? i need a father who's a role model, not some horny geek-boy who's gonna spray his shorts whenever i bring a girlfriend home from school. what a lame-o. somebody really should put him out of his misery.
yeah, would you?
well, i've been baby-sitting since i was about ten. i've got almost three thousand dollars. 'course, i was saving it up for a boob job.
but my tits can wait, huh?
well, i guess i'm just not a very nice girl, then, am i?
you know i'm not serious, right?
mom, is it okay if angela sleeps over tonight?
i've been too embarrassed to bring her over. because of you, and the way that you behave.
dad! you stare at her all the time, like you're drunk! it's disgusting!
no.
look, i'm not gonna talk about his dick with you, okay? it's not like that.
yeah, and maybe you shouldn't, all right? maybe i don't really want to hear all that.
where's mom?
i don't think we could be friends anymore.
just don't fuck my dad, all right? please?
dad! leave us alone!
what?
yes.
i'm no more a kid than you are! we can use my plastic surgery money.
why do you even care?
you shut up, bitch!
well, then so am i! and we'll always be freaks and we'll never be like other people. and you'll never be a freak because you're just too perfect.
are you scared?
my parents will try to find me.
oh god.