want me to kill him for you?
be right there.
mom.
i don't eat bacon, remember?
what's new in the world, dad?
that's the whole thing, dad. they don't feel like it's anything to be ashamed of.
yeah, you're right.
forgive me, sir, for speaking so bluntly, but those fags make me want to puke my fucking guts out.
hi. my name's ricky. i just moved next door to you.
i didn't mean to scare you. i just think you're interesting.
i'm not obsessing. i'm just curious.
hey.
mom. nobody said anything.
excuse me. don't you live on robin hood trail? the house with the red door?
i'm ricky fitts. i just moved into the house next to you.
hi, lester burnham.
do you party?
do you get high?
re-animator.
fine. so don't pay me.
i quit. so you don't have to pay me. now, leave me alone.
eighteen. i just do these gigs as a cover. i have other sources of income. but my dad interferes less in my life when i pretend to be an upstanding young citizen with a respectable job.
i'm ricky fitts, i just moved in the house next to you. i go to school with your daughter.
yeah. jane.
any time.
lester. if you want any more, you know where i live.
welcome to america's weirdest home videos.
coming, dad.
i'm sorry, i must have locked it by accident. so what's up?
wow. it's been six months already. can i give it to you in the morning? i just took a whiz.
re-animator.
you want to borrow it? okay, it's up in my room. come on.
can you hold this for a sec?
i don't think my dad would try to come in when somebody else is here, but you never know.
urine. i have to take a drug test every six months to make sure i'm clean.
it's not mine. one of my clients is a nurse in a pediatrician's office. i cut her a deal, she keeps me in clean piss.
i like a lot of music.
how much do you want?
well, this is totally decent, and it's three hundred.
but this shit is top of the line. it's called g-13. genetically engineered by the u.s. government. extremely potent. but a completely mellow high, no paranoia.
this is all i ever smoke.
two grand.
you don't have to pay now. i know you're good for it.
there's a card in there with my beeper number, call me anytime day or night. and i only accept cash.
that sucks.
my dad thinks i pay for all this with catering jobs. never underestimate the power of denial.
i was filming this dead bird.
because it's beautiful.
hi, jane.
okay.
it's okay. i'll walk. but thanks.
i like it.
have you ever known anybody who died?
no, but i did see this homeless woman who froze to death once. just laying there on the sidewalk. she looked really sad.
i got that homeless woman on video.
because it was amazing.
when you see something like that, it's like god is looking right at you, just for a second. and if you're careful, you can look right back.
beauty.
mom, i want you to meet somebody. mom.
i want you to meet somebody. this is jane.
this is where my dad hides out.
you got to see this one thing.
my dad would kill me if he knew i was in here.
no. one of my clients is a locksmith. he was short on cash one night, so i let him pay me in trade.
turn it over.
it's like official state china of the third reich. there's a whole subculture of people who collect this nazi shit. but my dad just has this one thing.
what's wrong?
no, you're scared of me.
you want to see the most beautiful thing i've ever filmed?
it was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing. and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it, right? and this bag was just.  dancing with me. like a little kid begging me to play with it. for fifteen minutes. that's the day i realized that there was this entire life behind things, and this incredibly benevolent force that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid. ever.
video's a poor excuse, i know. but it helps me remember.  i need to remember.
sometimes there's so much beauty in the world i feel like i can't take it.  and my heart is going to cave in.
no, sir. i won't fight you.
i picked the lock, sir.
no, sir. i wanted to show my girlfriend your nazi plate.
yes, sir. she lives next door.
her name's jane.
sir, i'm sorry.
yes, sir.
discipline. yes, sir, thank you for trying to teach me. don't give up on me, dad.
why?
i can't believe you don't know how beautiful you are.
fine.
i am naked.
when i was fifteen, my dad caught me smoking dope. he totally freaked and decided to send me to military school. i told you his whole thing about structure and discipline, right? well, of course, i got kicked out. dad and i had this huge fight, and he hit me.  and then the next day at school, some kid made a crack about my haircut, and.  i just snapped. i wanted to kill him. and i would have. killed him. if they hadn't pulled me off. that's when my dad put me in the hospital. then they drugged me up and left me in there for two years.
he's not a bad man.
why?
you'd rather he had the crush on you?
how?
want me to kill him for you?
it'll cost you.
you know, that's not a very nice thing to do, hiring somebody to kill your dad.
of course.
do you know how lucky we are to have found each other?
oh, i don't need a ride. i'm going to go in with jane and her mom.
pretty decent, mr. burnham.
i have to run next door. jane left her geometry book in my bag and she needs it to do her homework.
you got any papers?
you should learn to roll a joint.
from my job.
you were watching me?
dad, you don't really think.  me and mr. burnham?
jesus, what is with you--
you mean that?
you're right. i suck dick for money.
two thousand dollars. i'm that good.
and you should see me fuck. i'm the best piece of ass in three states.
what a sad old man you are.
mom, i'm leaving.
i wish things would have been better for you. take care of dad.
it's me.
if i had to leave tonight, would you come with me?
if i had to go to new york. to live. tonight. would you come with me?
we won't have to. i have over forty thousand dollars. and i know people in the city who can help us get set up.
yes.
she's not your friend. she's somebody you use to feel better about yourself.
yes, you are. and you're boring. and you're totally ordinary. and you know it.
i don't get scared.
mine won't.
wow.