it's a big, thick envelope, vicky. you got in.
"dear ms. hughes. we're sorry, but after keeping you on the wait list for the past couple months, we've decided you are now rejected. enclosed is a 100-page, full-color brochure on how rejected you are."
you got in.
then she said -- she loves me.
nothing, i just hugged her back.
i couldn't tell -- she could've meant like, "i love you grandma" or "i love you vanderbilt."
please. we're all golden, we're college bound. i figured it out -- i can get a c- minus in every class, and it's not gonna make a difference. u of m, here i come.
finch, you got the latin homework?
whatever.
really, stifler. he's the manager.
stifler, you're such an asshole.
what was i gonna do, call dad? i don't even know his number.
yeah, well anyway. i thought you might have some advice, brother to brother. i mean, i think tonight she might, we might really, there's a chance that -- you know.
what? not the bible?
does it tell me how to get laid?
ready for what?
you ever hear of something called the bible?
unlisted age, plus "youthful mind," equals old.
alright. i'm shooting for a nine o'clock eta. beer in hand by five after.
it's all good. breath check.
you got something up your sleeve for tonight, finch?
how the hell do you know all these random songs?
at least now i know what the hell they're saying.
the difference is so phenomenal, i can't decide.
you know, i've never got that shit. what exactly constitutes third base?
then where does a blowjob figure in?
oh, man, that's kind of sad.
yeah, okay sherman, whatever.
yeah man, right on!
hopeless.
gotta go.
vicky -- do you think, maybe. it's time for us to take the next step in our relationship?
yeah, it's such a perfect evening. isn't this how you've always pictured it?
or not.
okay, don't stop.
god dammit, stifler!
vicky, wait!
stifler, how's the man chowder?!
dammit! if sherman has sex before i do, i'm gonna be really fucking pissed.
man, i just gotta get laid already! this blowjob thing is bullshit!
vicky, wait.
ow, what the hell?
feeling better, oz?
that's the spirit.
i -- i don't get it, how the hell did you do that?
i put in months of quality time with vicky. sherman meets a chick for one night and scores? this is just wrong.
alright, i got an idea. but it stays between us. agreed?
no, a pact. no money involved. this is more important than any bet. now here's the deal: we all get laid before we graduate.
this is different. this is better. think of when you're working out, oz. you need a partner, someone to spot you. someone to keep you motivated.
that's what we are, we keep each other on track. prior to this day, we've postured. we've procrastinated. we've pretended. we've -- well i can't think of other p-words, but we've probably done them too.
separately, we are flawed and vulnerable. but together, we are the masters of our sexual destiny!
guys, guys -- you're ruining my fucking moment here. now think about it --
no longer will our penises remain flaccid and unused! from now on, we fight for every man out there who isn't getting laid when he should be! this is our day! this is our time! and, by god, we're not gonna let history condemn us to celibacy! we will make a stand! we will succeed! we will get laid!
now, the sex -- it's got to be valid, consensual sex. no funny stuff. and no prostitutes, if you were thinking about that, finch.
so, i'm thinking prom is basically our last big chance.
i know, but think about it -- at the parties that night. chicks are gonna want to do it.
right. that gives us.
alright then. it's official. any questions?
did you get the flowers? what about the poem?
what?
you mean. and orgasm?
well. i'm pretty sure i've --
but that one time --
well of course i'd want to give her that. i mean, what do you think, i don't care about her?
of course.
i -- i don't know, you can't ask me that.
i don't want to dupe her, jessica. if i say it, i have to be sure i mean it.
this is your plan, finch?
this. right now.
of course, finch. what?
what are we gonna hear?
fifteen minutes ago.
yeah.
yeah.
no -- it's true. he is. really.  big.
finch hasn't done a damn thing, and he's got girls lining up already.
uh. i thought you might know a trick or something. to make her, you know.
yeah.
what?! how do i do that?
well, no. i think. i guess it would be good to be able to return the favor. i mean, it would be nice to know she enjoys things as much as i do.
qualify for what?
i was being selfish. and majorly insensitive. and i'm a total idiot.
yes! i'm a shithead! i'm a complete and total shithead!
and i want to try to make it up to you.
shhhh. your parents are downstairs.
just a second!
vicky, shhh, you know there's no lock on your door.
nah, you get kind of dizzy though.
went home to shit.
observe.
yes?
that's good, jim.
i can't, i have no idea how he's doing it. and that leaves you trailing, jim. you gotta get your act together.
you can send me the address too.
i'll save you a seat.
there we go.
here we go.
want a beer?
just in time.
oh, man! this is incredible.
i can't believe oz had to work.
nice collection there, jim.
you know, jim. you could go back there. and.
anything! just tell her it looks like she needs an extra hand or something.
no, you're stupid. get going! right now! she's primed!
come on, jim. where are you?
he's going in!
no idea.
ho-lee shit.
oh no.
holy shit!
not again.
hey, minuteman.
how do you know that?
yeah? well come prom night, those excuses aren't going to do you much good.
you're not doing the extra credit problems.
that's my trick!
we've come a long way since homecoming.
indeed i did. but, our relationship. it's progressed a lot. it's time for us to. express ourselves in new ways.
well, i feel that. things are getting to that point in a relationship. when two people share. a special moment between them.
you want to do it?
no, i don't not love you. i like, i know that we've definitely got something between us. something good. something special.
i didn't say that. i mean, love, it's like a term that gets thrown around. people say things, they get married, have kids, and then what? it's like they call it off, going "i was wrong."
i know, vick. i'm just not ready yet, okay?
hey. what was that all about?
right, and who told you that?
no comment?! are you kidding me?! i've never seen someone's image change so. so drastically!
did you guys hook up or something?
then what the hell are you talking about?
i don't get it, that really works?
oh no, stifler, what did you do?
finch! get to the bathroom! now!
just go!
you're gonna shit your pants!
finch, listen -- stifler slipped some sort of laxative in your mocash-chino or whatever. it's fast acting. i mean really fast.
you fuckin' rule!
hey.
it's like a six or seven hour drive. that's easy, i don't mind driving.
about the other day. i've been thinking.
yeah, we have something great, vick.
now?!
alright, how do you guys stand? well, finch, i know where you are, but you can't use that as an excuse. jim?
oz, how about you and heather? now you guys are a couple or something?
attitude? me? i think that you guys should be more enthusiastic. shit, we've been trying to get laid forever, and tonight's the night we've been waiting for. we're in this together. don't back out on me now!
no, but come on guys, we made a pact!
it was a pact. you break it and there are no excuses. you guys have to --
i don't care.
i'm not going.
this isn't how i wanted things to turn out. making the pact wasn't just about getting laid. it was about doing one last thing with you guys before we graduated. but now i've just wasted my last few weeks here trying to do what? i don't even know. all i managed to do was fuck up our friendship.
nah. fuck, you guys are right, i don't know what i'm doing. i mean i'm acting like i've got it all together tonight. but i know vicky is gonna ask me if i love her. and i don't know what i'm gonna say. so now it's like, maybe i'll just wimp out on the whole thing.
he didn't?
see -- this is the nicest room.
no! get out of here!
you comfortable?
yeah.
yeah. are you sure?
me too.
yeah, right here.
so, do you want to be -- i mean, how do you want to do it?
like, normal style. the. missionary position.
yeah vick?
okay.
victoria. i love you.
that was a great night.
i can't believe we just had our senior prom.
it did.
don't say that, we can do it somehow. it might not be perfect, but --
it is far away. and we'll be on our own. meeting new people.
vicky. last night. i wasn't lying.
what?
i guess we'll call you two-ply.
yeah.
so oz, you almost made it, huh?
wow. you two really have something going, don't you?
you know what the coolest thing is? this, right now.
yeah, but we'll still see each other.
to the next step.
hey. i got another question for you.
um. i'm sort of wondering about. love.