joyce.  joyce?
tell me the truth. am i some guy who writes about himself in a comic book? or am i just -- am i just a character in that book?
if i die, will 'dat character keep goin'? or will he just fade away.
doc, you gotta help me. my old lady's dumping me 'cause i can't talk. she says i'm a social embarrassment. now that she's got her phd, she's some hot shit academic star an' i'm nuthin' but a file clerk with nothin' ta say an' no voice ta say it. but me bein' a file clerk was fine when i wrote the damn check for her tuition --
i just don't get it.  we were doin' okay for a while. then we took that stupid belated honeymoon. i started losin' my voice on the plane. can you believe that.  on the plane, doc?
"ahhh." "ahhh" ruined the trip. i got crazy, started to worry my voice would never come back. i mean, my wife didn't know me so long before we got hitched. what if she totally forgets what i'm like? man, it's torture --
what? is it bad, doc?
it's cancer? first i got marital problems and now yer tellin' me i got throat cancer? omigod.
whew.  okay, okay. but fer how long?
months!!
look at 'em yakkin'. how do they do it?
they all make it seem so easy.
ay.  what is this?
whattya mean!! you mean yer dumpin' me?! fer what? ah, shit!
but --
please! wait, honey.  just listen to what i got to say.
plebeian.  where the hell did she get that shit?
huh? oh. hiya, mr. boats.
yeah. it's from an elinor hoyt wylie poem. it means stay away from the crowds of common ordinary people an' do yer own thing.
well i ain't got no woman now. so i'm living like the stoic bird, man.
huh? that's an a.m.-f.m. radio he's listening to.  they got 'em fixed up now like a pair of earmuffs.
well, i don't know. rock music's got some good qualities. i mean it ain't jazz or nothin'.
i don't got any of that, mr. boats.
i don't know, marty. it's got a lamination crack in it.  a quarter. maybe i can get him down.
yeah, i know i'm tight, man, but i live on a government wage.
yeah, man. how 'bout you?
that's cool.
yeah? i'm into comics myself.
it's terrific, man! i really dig your work.
yeah? can i get good bread for it?
listen man, let's get back to your book. what are you gonna do with it?
it's more than an exercise. it's breaking ground, man. there's some wild shit in here.
yeah, ya don't know the half of it.
i dunno, man. on the one hand most women gettin' graduate degrees wouldn't give a guy like me the time a' day. an' she married me an' everything, so i gotta give her some kinda credit. but then she got so mean to me in the end. an' it ain't like i tried t'keep her captive or anything like that, y'know?
an' then on top of it i lost my voice for three months. i still sound like shit, but before i had nothin'. man, talk about hell. i started forgettin' what i sound like, y'know? so i started writin' stuff down -- stories an' things, my points a' view, ideas. i even published a couple jazz record reviews. i guess that ended up bein' a good thing.
but don't think i buy into this "growth" crap. everybody talks about how bad experiences can cause ya t'grow, an' all that clichd stuff. i've had enough bad experiences and growth to last me plenty. right now, i'd be glad to trade some growth for happiness.
so how long are ya stayin' in cleveland?
what are ya talkin' about? yer makin' a good living doin' yer art? sheesh. how many guys get that lucky in their life, huh?
ya know man, people are startin' to know the name "crumb." when you croak you're gonna leave something behind.
c'mon, man. it sure beats workin' a gig like mine -- being a nobody flunky and sellin' records on the side for a buck.
damn it!
i'm starvin'.
shit. work.
see, ever since i read your stuff, man i've been thinking i could write comic book stories that were different from anything being done.
i'm thinkin', the guys who do animal comics and super-hero stuff are really limited 'cause they gotta try to appeal to kids. and underground comics like yours have been really subversive or opened things up politically. but there is still plenty more ta be done with 'em, too, y'know?
i mean with pictures and words, it could be more of an art form. like those french movies are. or de sica over in italy, y'know?.  so i tried writin' some things about real life. stuff the everyman's gotta deal with.
er, yeah.
sorta, yeah. but no idealized shit. no phony bullshit. the real thing, y'know? ordinary life is pretty complex stuff.
really? ya think so?
wow!!
you'd do that for me, man? that'd be great! i can't draw a straight line!
i don't know, man! i guess you cured me!
see that? all stories by yours truly.
no way, jack, i don't go in for that macho crap.
nah! i don't draw. i just write the stories. a buddy of mine and some of his friends do the art work.
yeah! yeah! you're in there, alright? jeez, toby.
cut it out. man, i ain't nothin' yet compared to bob crumb.
i got a job.  i got a job.
huh? sure, i'll take 'em.
hey, watermelon. that's pretty good.
hey toby, can you eat lentils during lent?
ya think there's any connection between lentils and lent?
sister mary fred, huh? is she cute? sounds kinda mannish but who am i to be picky.
so what? maybe she became a nun because she couldn't get a guy.
higher calling. that is such a crock of shit. i don't know why you waste your time prayin' anyway.
what? do i seem depressed, toby?
yeah! i'll have two crullers, a jelly donut with powdered sugar.  and you got any "day old bread"?
yeah.
oh yeah. college. we had a couple lit classes together.
i know, man. i got good grades and all but there was this required math class. i can't do math, an' that required class hangin' over my head made me crazy. eventually the pressure got to be too much.
ya did?
yeah. i'm not doing as great as ya think. my second wife divorced me and i work at a dead end job as a file clerk. sometimes i hang out with the guys on the corner but most of the time i just stay home by myself and read.
i'm reading this book by dreiser now --
i hope it don't end like so many a' those naturalist novels.  with someone getting crushed ta earth by forces he can't control.
nice car. i don't have one yet.
nah. it's a nice day. i'll just walk.
sure, i'd be glad t'come. but if you really wanna do me a favor, introduce me to some a' your single girlfriends. i bet they're all smart like you. i'm no catch, though, so i'll take anything you can get me.
man, she's got good lookin' handwritin'.
dear joyce, thanks for the letter. whattya do besides sellin' comics?
sounds familiar. so you married or what?
look, i think you an' i got a lot in common. how am i gonna get you to come visit me in cleveland?
it's a great idea. you should meet me, 'cause i'm a great guy. despite the way my comics read, i got a lot of redeeming characteristics.
with me. don't worry, i'm not gonna put no moves on you or anything.
so what are ya worried about then?
those are motion lines. i'm an active guy. anyway, just come out here an' i'll try to be anyone you want me ta be.
hey. are you joyce?
hiya. look, before we get started with any of this, ya might as well know right off the bat. i had a vasectomy.
what's wrong?
somethin's wrong. yer lookin' around everywhere.
me? i never been here. i thought you'd like it. but obviously ya don't, do ya?
i dunno. none, i guess. they sure got a lot of meat on this menu.
kinda. i mean ever since i got a pet cat, i couldn't eat animals anymore.
wow. yer a sick woman, huh?
look, i was gonna clean up, but why should i give you any false notions? the truth is i got a serious problem with cleanliness. i could wash a dish ten times and it'd still dirty. they even kicked me outta the army 'cause i couldn't learn ta make a bed.
what, ya got a headache?
well lemme tell ya joyce, it sure is nice ta have company. i mean, despite all your problems, you seem like a great person. an' hey, sorry if my dating skills are kinda rusty, but i've just been through hell and back with women. i mean that last one turned out to be a real nasty bitch.
yeah? you had a nice time?
oh, sorry.
yeah?
hey, joyce! what's wrong? what is it?
i feel terrible. lemme at least do something for you.
can i make ya something? how about some chamomile tea?
i dunno. i noticed you drank a lot of it when we started talkin' on the phone. so i stocked up on herbal teas for your visit.
the girl at the food co-op picked me out all kinds of herbal stuff. one of 'ems good for stomachaches. grandma bear's tummy mint, i think. are you still there?
man, am i glad i talked you into comin' up here. any more time alone and i mighta lost it fer good.
so you don't have any problems with movin' to cleveland?
an' yer okay with the vasectomy thing?
ay toby.
can i have a fry?
whattya got, a church function?
nah. i gotta fly to delaware tonight. i'm gettin' married.
the chick i'm marryin' is from wilmington. plus, i gotta help her move her stuff here. why you drivin' ta toledo to see a movie?
yeah. we met last week.
toby, what movie could possibly be worth drivin' 260 miles round trip for?
wow, ya really dig this movie.
what are these nerds like? how would you describe them?
so what yer sayin' is you identify with those nerds?
so the nerds won, huh?
wow. you got this movie an' i'm gettin' hitched. we both had a good month, huh?
i'm only goin' for a week but then i'll have a wife, so i'll have to take her along. is it a girl flick?
i don't know, man. maybe. she's into herbal teas.
it's an entertaining flick an' i can see why you like it toby, but those people on the screen ain't even supposed to be you! they're college students whose parents live in big houses in the suburbs. they're gonna get degrees, get good jobs and stop being nerds.
look toby, the guys in that movie are not 28-year-old file clerks who live with their grandmothers in an ethnic ghetto.
they didn't get their computers like you did -- by trading in a bunch of box tops and $49.50 at the supermarket.
sure, toby. go to the movies and daydream, but "revenge of the nerds" ain't reality. it's just hollywood bullshit.
are ya kidding? no way, man. i ain't getting rid of my 78's.
i'll get rid of stuff. just not my good stuff.
aw come on, baby. i'll make room for ya. you just have to give me time. i'm not so good at these kind of things.
c'mon. i don't wanna hear that psychobabble crap!
hey joyce, it's me. you're not gonna believe this but some la producer called an' he wants to do a play about my life. call me!
i hate checkin' bags, man. it always takes forever.
jesus, look at the time. the bus is gonna leave soon and there won't be another one for an hour. that means i gotta shell out an extra thirty bucks for a cab.
hey wait, there's our -- figures. that lucky yuppie's gonna get on the bus in time.
damn yuppies get everything.
what? whattya talkin' about? i don't want kids. an' i came clean about my vasectomy the first time i set eyes on ya', right here in this airport.
family?! what kinda family could we possibly be? i ain't no good with kids. i can barely take care of myself.
no way joyce. forget it. i can't do it; i can't have no kids.
where the hell is that ornette coleman album, joyce? i got a review due tomorrow.
but it's one o'clock! how late can a person sleep?
we can go out for dinner tonight. how 'bout catching a bite at tommy's?
i give up.
hey joyce, we got a message here. why didn't you pick up.
useless.
what the hell?
aw, c'mon. who the hell cares?
hey, whattya doin?
i'm gettin' hungry back here. they oughtta leave ya donuts or somethin'.
hey, you got anything ta eat? my stomach's growling.
he's got it at the desk. will you relax about that already?
i'm ready for those cleveland jokes. go ahead.
that's right.
no. it's all true, david. all true.
that's right. aiding the sick, yes.
thank you. thank you.
to make a living! i don't make a living as a writer. i've been writing for many years, david. maybe more years than you've been alive.
yeah, i know that my youthful appearance belies, you know, my actual age. but, i've been around for a long time --
who? what people? what people? what are you talking about? where the hell do you get that stuff?
i'm no show biz phoney. i'm telling the truth. come on, man.
then what's the matter?
my wife made it.
that's right.
thirty-four bucks.
what are ya cheap. you cheaper than me?
no but i'm not asking it. my wife is.
whad'ya think?
go ahead and laugh, folks. but he has more contempt for you than i do!
fuckin' yuppie or whatever kinda freak you are.
yeah, that's me.
yeah? then why dontcha buy one of my comics, man. that's the only reason i go on that dumb show anyway.
asshole.
whoa whoa, wait a second. jerusalem? i can barely drag you off the futon to go to the letterman show.
hey! you know i only go on the show for the extra bread!
maybe if you got yer lazy ass up and got a job, i could work on something that matters, too, huh?!
i'm sorry, baby. i -- i'm sorry.
this is crazy. can't ya just do somethin' here in cleveland?
alright.  be careful. i love you, baby.
what do i care! just gimme the chart already!
look, miguel! i just don't wanna keep comin' back here for it, okay?!
how many times do we gotta go through the same bullshit. just gimme the fuckin' chart!
whadya mean? another two weeks? ya gotta come home some time! hello? damnit!
okay, asshole. you'll pay for that one.
hey, dave! you wanna know what my politics are? i'm a strident leftist, dave.
you coulda guessed all of it, man! so why don't we talk about your parent company, g.e., huh? let's talk about anti-trust violations and nuclear reactors!
you're a cop-out, letterman. you're nothin' but a shill for g.e.
don't worry, dave. i won't come back unless you beg me.
what do i care --
so what?!
dave, you're fulla shit! you're fulla shit!!
who cares. he wasn't helpin' my sales anyway. baby, don't go away anymore. i just can't take bein' alone.
but if you go again i'm really gonna lose it.
how can i have cancer? i don't feel sick at all.
my cousin norman died of lymphoma. he was twenty-nine. he was a brilliant oncologist.
what's going to happen to you, baby? who's gonna take care of you if i'm not around?
but that's you. i'm not strong enough. i don't know how ta be positive. i can't do it. i can't.
i can't do that. i'm just not strong enough.  i just wanna die.
shit!
damnit!
joyce, open the door! i lost my keys again! joyce!!
joyce!! open the fucking door!!
fred?
sheesh. joyce doesn't know what she's doing. there's too many words in these frames. when are ya comin' back?
next week my treatment begins. do me a favor. bring the kid with you.
i wanna die.  just let me die.
joyce.  joyce?
tell me the truth. am i some guy who writes about himself in a comic book? or am i just -- just a character in that book?
when i die, will 'dat character keep goin'? or will he just fade away.
my name is harvey pekar. it's an unusual name -- harvey pekar.
1960 was the year i got my first apartment and my first telephone book. imagine my surprise when i looked up my name and saw that, in addition to me, another harvey pekar was listed!
i was listed as harvey l. pekar.  my middle name is lawrence.  he was listed as harvey pekar -- no middle initial.  therefore, his was a purer listing.
then, in the seventies, i noticed that a third harvey pekar was listed in the phone book! this filled me with curiosity.
how could there be three people with such an unusual name in the world, let alone in one city?!
then one day, a person i worked with expressed her sympathy to me concerning what she thought was the death of my father. she pointed out an obituary notice in the newspaper for a man named harvey pekar. one of his sons was named harvey. these were the other harvey pekars.
six months later, harvey pekar jr. died. although i'd met neither man, i was filled with sadness. "what were they like," i thought. it seemed that our lives had been linked in some indefinable way.
but the story does not end there. for two years later another harvey pekar appeared in the directory. what kind of people are these? where do they come from, what do they do? what's in a name?
who is harvey pekar?
hey joyce.
that was the doctor.
he said i'm all clear.
ya keep readin' 'em backward.
i keep tellin' ya, all of 'ems me, man.
yeah, well wait'll ya see what you're gonna look like.
sure. yer part of the story too, now.
the story of my life.
yeah, i know i'm not as interesting as the little mermaid and all that magical crap.
oh yeah? what about?
ya know, you should write about things in your own life. like school and.  ponies.  i don't know, girl stuff.
what, are you embarrassed a' me? i know, i'm embarrassing. i felt the same way about my father.