on november first, 1959, the population of new york city was 8,042,783. if you laid all these people end to end, figuring an average height of five feet six and a half inches, they would reach from times square to the outskirts of karachi, pakistan. i know facts like this because i work for an insurance company --
-- consolidated life of new york. we are one of the top five companies in the country -- last year we wrote nine-point-three billion dollars worth of policies. our home office has 31,259 employees -- which is more than the entire population of natchez, mississippi, of gallup, new mexico.
i work on the nineteenth floor -- ordinary policy department - premium accounting division - section w -- desk number 861.
my name is c.c. baxter - c. for calvin, c. for clifford -- however, most people call me bud. i've been with consolidated life for three years and ten months. i started in the branch office in cincinnati, then transferred to new york. my take-home pay is $94.70 a week, and there are the usual fringe benefits.
the hours in our department are 8:50 to 5:20 --
-- they're staggered by floors, so that sixteen elevators can handle the 31,259 employees without a serious traffic jam. as for myself, i very often stay on at the office and work for an extra hour or two -- especially when the weather is bad. it's not that i'm overly ambitious -- it's just a way of killing time, until it's all right for me to go home. you see, i have this little problem with my apartment --
i live in the west sixties - just half a block from central park. my rent is $84 a month. it used to be eighty until last july when mrs. lieberman, the landlady, put in a second-hand air conditioning unit.
it's a real nice apartment - nothing fancy -- but kind of cozy -- just right for a bachelor. the only problem is - i can't always get in when i want to.
good evening, mrs. lieberman.
no, no. just waiting for a friend. good night, mrs. lieberman.
oh. hello there, mrs. dreyfuss.
i seem to have dropped my key. oh -- here it is.
oh, you don't have to worry about that -- nothing in there that anybody would want to steal.  good night, mrs. dreyfuss.
mr. kirkeby, i don't like to complain -- but you were supposed to be out of here by eight.
i don't mind in the summer -- but on a rainy night -- and i haven't had any dinner yet --
mr. sheldrake?
thank you, mr. kirkeby.
i know. mr. eichelberger -- in the mortgage loan department -- last night he had a little halloween party here --
yes, mr. kirkeby. you still owe me for the last two bottles --
cheese crackers.
hi, doc. had a late call?
oh. 'bye, doc.
oh, that's not me. it's just that once in a while, i have some people in for a drink.
i'm sorry if it gets noisy --
yeah. well -- see you, doc.
me?
my body? i'm afraid you guys would be disappointed. good night, doc.
hello? -- hello? -- yes, this is baxter.
well, that's very nice of you -- but who is this?
oh, yes, mr. dobisch. i didn't recognize your voice --
i'm sorry, mr. dobisch. you know i like to help you guys out -- but it's sort of late -- so why don't we make it some other time?
i don't care if it is marilyn monroe -- i'm already in bed -- and i've taken a sleeping pill -- so i'm afraid the answer is no.
of course not. but -- how can i be efficient in the office if i don't get enough sleep at night?
i'm all out of liquor -- and there's no clean glasses -- no cheese crackers -- no nothing.
yes, mr. dobisch.
anything you say, mr. dobisch -- no trouble at all, mr. dobisch -- be my guest --
-- we never close at buddy-boy's -- looks like marilyn monroe --
good morning, mr. kirkeby.
yes, sir. they are indeed.
morning, miss kubelik.
what did you do to your hair?
i sort of like it.
yeah. i better not get too close.
really? i was looking at some figures from the sickness and accident claims division -- do you know that the average new yorker between the ages of twenty and fifty has two and a half colds a year?
why?
that's me.
i should have stayed in bed last night.
oh, yes. she's the best operator in the building.
maybe you're using the wrong approach.
could be she's just a nice, respectable girl -- there are millions of them.
hello, mr. dobisch? this is baxter, on the nineteenth floor.
it's not picasso i'm calling about. it's the key -- to my apartment -- you were supposed to leave it under the mat.
oh, i found a key there, all right -- only it's the wrong key.
and i couldn't get into my apartment -- so at four a. m. i had to wake up the landlady and give her a whole song and dance about going out to mail a letter and the door slamming shut.
thank you, mr. dobisch.
wait.
to mr. dobisch.
look, mr. vanderhof -- i've got you down here for tonight -- but i'm going to be using the place myself -- so i'll have to cancel.
i hate to disappoint you -- i mean, many happy returns -- but not tonight --
thank you, mr. vanderhof. but i'm sick -- i have this terrible cold -- and a fever -- and i got to go to bed right after work.
oh, no. i'd get pneumonia -- and if i got pneumonia, i'd be in bed for a month -- and if i were in bed for a month --
wednesday -- wednesday -- i got somebody penciled in -- let me see what i can do -- i'll get back to you.
mr. eichelberger? is this mortgage and loan? i'd like to speak to mr. eichelberger. yes, it is urgent.
friday? let me see what i can do. i'll get back to you.
instead of friday -- could you possibly switch to thursday? you'd be doing me a great favor --
thank you, mr. kirkeby. mr. eichelberger? it's okay for friday. mr. vanderhof? it's okay for wednesday.
sheldrake?
oh!
care to make a small wager?
shall we say -- a dollar?
twenty-seven, please. and drive carefully. you're carrying precious cargo -- i mean, manpower-wise.
you may not realize it, miss kubelik, but i'm in the top ten -- efficiency-wise and this may be the day -- promotion-wise.
why not? now that they're kicking me upstairs --
really?
i'd love to hear them. maybe we could have lunch in the cafeteria sometime -- or some evening, after work --
i hope so. wouldn't you know they'd call me on a day like this -- with my cold and everything -- how do i look?
thank you. that's the first thing i ever noticed about you -- when you were still on the local elevator -- you always wore a flower --
c. c. baxter -- ordinary premium accounting -- mr. sheldrake called me.
i'm sorry, i --
yes, sir.
yes, mr. sheldrake.
mr. dobisch said that?
well, you know how it is -- things pile up.
that's very flattering.
i don't know.
would you mind repeating the question?
you do?
the vice squad?
what -- what's that got to do with me? i'm not running any bookie joint.
sir?
who?
oh.
no, sir. i'm not going to deny it. but if you'd just let me explain --
well, about six months ago -- i was going to night school, taking this course in advanced accounting -- and one of the guys in our department -- he lives in jersey -- he was going to a banquet at the biltmore -- his wife was meeting him in town, and he needed someplace to change into a tuxedo -- so i gave him the key and word must have gotten around -- because the next thing i knew, all sorts of guys were suddenly going to banquets -- and when you give the key to one guy, you can't say no to another and the whole thing got out of hand -- pardon me.
just those four -- out of a total of 31,259 -- so actually, we can be very proud of our personnel -- percentage-wise.
oh, it won't. believe me. and it's not going to happen again. from now on, nobody is going to use my apartment --
west 67th street. you have no idea what i've been going through -- with the neighbors and the landlady and the liquor and the key --
well, usually i slip it to them in the office and they leave it under the mat -- but never again -- i can promise you that --
well, i don't want to intrude -- and i thought -- since it's all straightened out anyway --
yes, sir.
not yet. but i hear it's one swell show.
you mean -- you and me? i thought you were taking the branch manager from kansas city --
well, that's very kind of you -- only i'm not feeling well -- you see, i have this cold -- and i thought i'd go straight home.
so do i -- i'm going to take four aspirins and get into bed -- so you better give the tickets to somebody else --
swap them? for what?
oh? oh!
this?
i am?
it's on the second floor - my name is not on the door -- it just says
oh -- terribly sorry. it's that cold --
thank you, sir.
you'll be careful with the record player, won't you? and about the liquor -- i ordered some this morning -- but i'm not sure when they'll deliver it --
yes, of course.
oh, you don't have to worry --
oh, no sir. certainly not. anyway, it's none of my business -- four apples, five apples -- what's the difference -- percentage-wise?
you too, sir.
good night.
oh -- miss kubelik. i've been waiting for you.
i almost didn't recognize you -- this is the first time i've ever seen you in civilian clothes.
great. look -- have you seen the music man?
would you like to?
i thought maybe we could have a bite to eat first -- and then --
yeah.
oh. you mean -- like a girl-friend?
i wasn't trying to be personal -- it's just that the fellows in the office were -- whether you wondering about you ever --
this date -- is it just a date -- or is it something serious?
well, in that case, couldn't you -- ?
oh, i understand.
well, it was just an idea -- i hate to see a ticket go to waste --
eight-thirty.
all right? that's wonderful! it's the majestic -- 44th street.
you know, i felt so lousy this morning -- a hundred and one fever -- then my promotion came up -- now you and i -- eleventh row center -- and you said i should have stayed in bed.
what cold? and after the show, we could go out on the town -- i've been taking from arthur murray.
they got a great little band at el chico, in the village -- it's practically around the corner from where you live.
oh, i even know who you live with -- your sister and brother-in- law -- i know when you were born -- and where -- i know all sorts of things about you.
a couple of months ago i looked up your card in the group insurance file.
i know your height, your weight and your social security number -- you had mumps, you had measles, and you had your appendix out.
eight-thirty!
would you mind --? c. c. baxter -- that's me.
hi, fellas.
yeah.
i have a vague idea.
oh, i'm very grateful.
it's been sort of rough these last few weeks -- what with my cold and like that --
well, after all, it's my apartment -- it's private property -- it's not a public playground.
i sympathize with your problem -- and believe me, i'm very sorry --
you threatening me?
good morning, mr. sheldrake.
oh, yes, sir. very much. and i want to thank you --
so long, fellas. drop in any time. the door is always open -- to my office.
fine. and i want you to know i'll work very hard to justify your confidence in me --
well -- i guess so.
oh, yes. very attractive. is she -- the lucky one?
yes, sir. you can't be too careful.
i have something here -- i think it belongs to you.
i mean -- the young lady -- whoever she may be -- it was on the couch when i got home last night.
the mirror is broken. it was broken when i found it.
sir?
i know how it is.
no, sir. that's very unfair -- especially to your wife.
yes, sir. that's the life, all right.
roger. and i'll get that other key.
miss kubelik.
marry christmas.
what gave you that idea?
well, as a matter of fact, i was rather hurt when you stood me up that night --
i forgive you.
you couldn't help yourself. i mean, when you're having a drink with one man, you can't just suddenly walk out on him because you have another date with another man. you did the only decent thing.
miss kubelik, one doesn't get to be a second administrative assistant around here unless he's a pretty good judge of character -- and as far as i'm concerned, you're tops. i mean, decency-wise -- and otherwise-wise. cheers.
one more?
you're so right.
by the power vested in me, i herewith declare this elevator out of order. shall we join the natives?
don't you believe it. later on there will be human sacrifices -- white collar workers tossed into the computing machines, and punched full of those little square holes.
three.
you wait here. i think i hear the sound of running water.
miss kubelik.
you all right? what's the matter?
why don't we step into any office? there's something i want your advice about, anyway. i have my own office now, naturally. and you may be interested to know i'm the second youngest executive in the company -- the only one younger is a grandson of the chairman of the board.
miss kubelik, i would like your honest opinion. i've had this in my desk for a week -- cost me fifteen dollars -- but i just couldn't get up enough nerve to wear it --
it's what they call the junior executive model. what do you think?
guess i made a boo-boo, huh?
really? you mean you wouldn't be ashamed to be seen with somebody in a hat like this?
maybe if i wore it a little more to the side -- is that better?
well, as long as you wouldn't be ashamed to be seen with me -- how about the three of us going out this evening -- you and me and the bowler -- stroll down fifth avenue -- sort of break it in --
i understand. christmas -- family and all that --
oh, you don't have to worry about that. i have quite a bit of influence in personnel. you know mr. sheldrake?
he and i are like this. sent me a christmas card. see?
i thought maybe i could put in a word for you with mr. sheldrake -- get you a little promotion -- how would you like to be an elevator starter?
no problem. why don't we discuss it sometime over the holidays -- i could call you and pick you up and we'll have the big unveiling -- -- you sure this is the right way to wear it?
you don't think it's tilted a little too much --
after all, this is a conservative firm -- i don't want people to think i'm an entertainer --
the mirror -- it's broken.
oh. yes? just a minute. if you don't mind -- this is sort of personal
yes, mr. sheldrake -- no, i didn't forget -- the tree is up and the tom and jerry mix is in the refrigerator -- yes, sir -- same to you.
rum collins. and another one of these little mothers.
what is castro?
what about him?
that so.
who is mickey?
oh. mixed up in that revolution?
well, you can't win 'em all.
no.
no.
i said i had no family -- i didn't say i had an empty apartment.
might as well go to mine -- everybody else does.
not particularly.
no.
she may be a girl -- but she's no friend of mine.
stuck on her! obviously, you don't know me very well.
permit me -- c.c. baxter -- junior executive, arthur murray graduate, lover.
this way, mrs. macdougall.
mrs. macdougall, i think it is only fair to warn you that you are now alone with a notorious sexpot.
ask anybody around here. as a matter of fact, when it's time for me to go -- and i may go just like that -- -- i have promised my body to the columbia medical center.
well, they haven't got me yet, baby. dig up some ice from the kitchen and let's not waste any time -- preliminary-wise.
all right, miss kubelik -- get up. it's past checking-out time, and the hotel management would appreciate it if you would get the hell out of here. look, miss kubelik, i used to like you -- i used to like you a lot -- but it's all over between us -- so beat it -- o-u-t -- out! come on -- wake up!
oh, my god.
miss kubelik! miss kubelik!
dr. dreyfuss! hey, doc!
there's a girl in my place -- she took some sleeping pills -- you better come quick -- i can't wake her up.
hurry up, doc.
good night.
the party's over.
it's an emergency -- see you some other time.
not this one -- -- in there, doc.
nothing. just clear out, will you?
here -- find yourself a phone booth and call your husband in havana.
she going to be all right, doc?
it was half-full -- about a dozen or so. you going to have to take her to the hospital?
what are you going to do, doc?
i don't know -- i mean -- i wasn't here -- you see -- we had some words earlier -- nothing serious, really -- what you might call a lovers' quarrel --
something like that.
miss kubelik -- fran.
hello, miss kubelik.
well -- we work in the same building -- and we try to keep it quiet --
don't you remember? we were at the office party together --
that's right. i told you we had a fight -- that's what it was about -- miss olsen -- you know that other girl you saw --
it's not important, fran -- the main thing is that i got here in time -- and you're going to be all right -- -- isn't she, doc?
just as long as she's okay.
sure.
kubelik -- with two k's.
why do you want to know, doc? you don't have to report this, do you?
she didn't mean it, doc -- it was an accident -- she had a little too much to drink and -- she didn't know what she was doing -- there was no suicide note or anything -- believe me, doc, i'm not thinking about myself --
it's just that she's got a family -- and there's the people in the office -- look, doc, can't you forget you're a doctor -- let's just say you're here as a neighbor --
help yourself.
i'm not sure.
yeah, wasn't i?
oh -- mrs. lieberman.
last night?
i'm sorry, mrs. lieberman -- and i'll never invite those people again.
don't worry about dr. dreyfuss -- i happen to know he was out on a case.
operator, i want white plains, new york -- mr. j. d. sheldrake -- -- make it person to person.
i hate to disturb you, but something came up -- it's rather important -- and i think it would be a good idea if you could see me -- at the apartment -- as soon as possible.
i didn't want to tell you over the phone but that certain party -- you know who i mean -- i found her here last night -- she had taken an overdose of sleeping pills.
well, it was touch and go there for a while -- but she's sleeping it off now.
i thought maybe you'd like to be here when she wakes up.
yes, sir -- i understand. she left a note -- you want me to open it and read it to you? well, it was just a suggestion -- no, you don't have to worry about that, mr. sheldrake -- i kept your name out of it so there'll be no trouble, police-wise or newspaper- wise --
-- you see, the doctor, he's a friend of mine -- we were very lucky in that respect -- actually, he thinks she's my girl -- no, he just jumped to the conclusion -- around here, i'm known as quite a ladies' man --
-- of course, we're not out of the woods yet -- sometimes they try it again -- yes sir, i'll do my best -- it looks like it'll be a couple of days before she's fully recovered, and i may have a little problem with the landlady --
-- all right, mr. sheldrake, i'll keep her in my apartment as long as i can -- any sort of message you want me to give her? -- well, i'll think of something -- goodbye, mr. sheldrake.
miss kubelik -- -- you shouldn't be out of bed.
let me help you.
what kind of talk is that? so you got a little over- emotional -- but you're fine now.
two o'clock.
you're in no condition to go anywhere -- except back to bed.
sure i do. it's always nice to have company for christmas.
miss kubelik, i'm stronger than you are --
oh -- of course. i think there's a new toothbrush somewhere.
here -- put this on.
here. how about some breakfast?
i'll fix you some coffee.
oh -- we're all out of coffee -- you had quite a lot of it last night --
mrs. dreyfuss, can i borrow some coffee -- and maybe an orange and a couple of eggs?
ma'am?
i didn't really do anything -- honest -- i mean, you take a girl out a couple of times a week -- just for laughs -- and right away she thinks you're serious -- marriage-wise.
who are you calling, miss kubelik?
wait a minute -- let's talk this over first. just what are you going to tell her?
you better figure it out -- exactly. suppose she asks you why you didn't come home last night?
who?
and where are you now?
his apartment?
what's your friend's name?
what's her first name?
when are you coming home?
something wrong with your legs?
your stomach?
miss kubelik, i don't think you ought to call anybody -- not till that chewing gum is out of your head.
that's why we have to be careful -- we don't want to involve anybody -- after all, mr. sheldrake is a married man --
i didn't mean it that way -- i was just talking to him on the phone -- he's very concerned about you.
oh, you're wrong. he told me --
must be mrs. dreyfuss -- -- remember the doctor -- from last night -- that's his wife.
well, i have some paper towels --
yes, mrs. dreyfuss. he starts out with a worried backward glance toward the two. fran is just sitting there, the spoon in her hand, not touching the soup.
one napkin, coming up. i wish we had some champagne to wrap it around.
look, mrs. dreyfuss, you don't have to wait around. i'll wash the dishes and --
oh, i don't mind. as a matter of fact, i'm sort of flattered -- that anybody should think a girl like you -- would do a thing like this -- over a guy like me.
yes, i've got it. don't you think we'd better destroy it? so it won't fall into the wrong hands -- ?
there's nothing here but a hundred dollar bill.
sure.
you want me to move the television set in here? you play gin rummy?
i am. let me get the cards.
nothing i'd like better -- you know togetherness. guess what i did last christmas. had an early dinner at the automat, then went to the zoo, then i came home and cleaned up after mr. eichelberger -- he had a little eggnog party here. i'm way ahead this year.
three across, spades double, high deals. eight -- ten.
give what up?
yeah -- i know what you mean. queen.
pick a card.
a bad insurance risk?
a cemetery?
gin.
thirty-six and twenty-five -- that's sixty-one and two boxes.
how many guys were there?
cut.
too slow?
you better win a hand -- you're on a blitz.
mr. sheldrake? oh, yes. very.
i'm sure that's the explanation.
no doubt about it.
what for?
you are?
miss kubelik, i don't think that's such a good idea.
well, for one thing, you can't spell. and secondly -- if you did something like that -- you'd hate yourself.
pick up your cards and let's go.
you bet. i got a terrific hand.
you sure you want to throw that card?
gin.
fifty-two and twenty-five -- that's seventy-seven -- spades is double -- a hundred and fifty-four -- and four boxes -- you're blitzed in two games.
all right -- all right, mrs. dreyfuss.
what do you want?
you can't come in.
look, you can't stay here. just take your champagne and go.
are you going to leave, mr. kirkeby, or do i have to throw you out?
now will you get out?
no!
just somebody delivering a bottle of champagne. like some?
now don't go getting any ideas, miss kubelik.
it's only one story down -- the best you can do is break a leg.
please, miss kubelik, you got to promise me you won't do anything foolish.
i would.
yeah. well -- that's the way it crumbles, cookie-wise. go to sleep.
yes, she's in the shower -- she's coming along fine, considering.
no, thank you, mr. sheldrake. as a matter of fact, i've got some money for you -- a hundred dollars --
for me? i don't think so. but i was hoping maybe you could do something for her --
well, at least you can talk to her -- let me put her on -- and please be gentle --
there's a call for you --
-- mr. sheldrake.
i think you should. i have to run down to the grocery anyway -- all that's left around here is one frozen pizza -- i'll be right back -- okay?
what for?
gas?
miss kubelik!
miss kubelik!
are you all right?
gas. didn't you turn it on?
you turned it on -- but you didn't light it.
in this house, you're supposed to.
what are you doing with that?
thank you.
well, things are a little disorganized around here.
tennis racquet? oh, i remember -- i was cooking myself an italian dinner. i used it to strain the spaghetti.
as a matter of fact, i'm a pretty good cook -- but i'm a lousy housekeeper.
it's just that i'm the kind of guy who can't say no -- i don't mean to girls -- i mean --
i guess so.
a what?
i wouldn't say that -- what would you like to have for diner? there's onion soup and canned asparagus --
you can't leave yet. the doctor says it takes forty-eight hours to get the stuff out of your system.
i know how you feel, miss kubelik. you think it's the end of the world -- but it's not, really. i went through exactly the same thing myself.
well, maybe not exactly -- i tried to do it with a gun.
worse than that -- she was the wife of my best friend -- and i was mad for her. but i knew it was hopeless -- so i decided to end it all. i went to a pawnshop and bought a forty-five automatic and drove up to eden park -- do you know cincinnati?
anyway, i parked the car and loaded the gun -- well, you read in the papers all the time that people shoot themselves, but believe me, it's not that easy -- i mean, how do you do it? -- here, or here, or here -- -- you know where i finally shot myself?
here.
uh-huh. while i was sitting there, trying to make my mind up, a cop stuck his head in the car, because i was illegally parked -- so i started to hide the gun under the seat and it went off -- pow!
yeah. took me a year before i could bend my knee -- but i got over the girl in three weeks. she still lives in cincinnati, has four kids, gained twenty pounds -- she sends me a fruit cake every christmas.
of course not. here's the fruit cake. and you want to see my knee?
so let 'em. look, i'm going to cook dinner for us. we'll have the fruit cake for dessert. you just sit there and rest. you've done enough for one day.
no -- just come as you are.
you ought to see my backhand. and wait till i serve the meatballs.
it's a must -- gracious-living-wise.
might as well go all the way.
you know, i used to live like robinson crusoe -- shipwrecked among eight million people. then one day i saw a footprint in the sand -- and there you were -- it's a wonderful thing -- dinner for two.
oh, no. sometimes i have dinner with ed sullivan, sometimes with dinah shore or perry como -- the other night i had dinner with mae west -- of course, she was much younger then. cheers.
you know what we're going to do after dinner?
i mean, after that?
you don't have to if you don't want to --
we're going to finish that gin game.
so i want you to keep a clear head.
because i don't want to take advantage of you -- the way i did yesterday in bed.
yes?
how do you do, mr. matuschka?
now, wait a minute. i know what you're thinking -- but it's not as bad as it looks --
all we were going to do is eat and wash the dishes --
care for a martini? champagne? how about a little spaghetti with meat sauce? made it myself. your sister-in-law sure is terrific -- must be murder driving a cab in new york -- i mean, with all that cross-town traffic --
oh, i'm fine, doc.
oh, this is mr. matuschka -- he's miss kubelik's -- he's got a cab downstairs --
no, no -- just had a little accident.
oh, not that kind. he just gave her a shot and pumped her stomach out --
on account of me.
who else?
don't bother, doc. it doesn't hurt a bit.
mr. sheldrake's office? this is c.c. baxter. would you please tell mr. sheldrake i'd like to come up and see him? it's rather important. will you call me back, please?
mr. sheldrake, i've got good news for you. all your troubles are over. i'm going to take miss kubelik off your hands. the plain fact is, mr. sheldrake, that i love her. i haven't told her yet, but i thought you should be the first to know. after all, you don't really want her, and i do, and although it may sound presumptuous, she needs somebody like me. so i think it would be the thing all around -- -- solution-wise. yes? i'll be right up.
mr. sheldrake, i've got good news for you --
you see, mr. sheldrake, those two days she spent in the apartment -- it made me realize how lonely i'd been before. but thanks to you, i'm in a financial position to marry her -- if i can ever square things with her family.
mr. sheldrake, i've got good news for you --
sir?
you're going to take her off my hands?
you left your wife?
yeah --
it's about miss kubelik -- she's all right again -- so she went back home.
mine?
well, it's just that so many things have been happening so fast -- i'm very pleased -- especially for miss kubelik. now that i've gotten to know her better, i think she's the kind of girl that definitely ought to be married to somebody --
yes, sir.
i got kicked in the head, too.
oh, miss kubelik. how do you feel?
fine.
nothing's changed. you know, we never finished that gin game --
you mean, leaving his wife? yeah. i'm very happy for you.
i told you all along. you see, you were wrong about mr. sheldrake.
for that matter, you were wrong about me, too. what you said about those who take and those who get took? well, mr. sheldrake wasn't using me -- i was using him. see? last month i was at desk 861 on the nineteenth floor -- now i'm on the twenty-seventh floor, paneled office, three windows -- so it all worked out fine -- we're both getting what we want.
no, thank you. i -- well, to tell you the truth -- -- i have this heavy date for tonight --
aren't you meeting mr. sheldrake?
that's very wise.
good night, miss kubelik.
here's the breakdown of figures on personnel turnover. thirty-seven percent of our female employees leave to get married, twenty-two percent quit because --
yes, sir.
naturally.
i see.
don't mind what?
very clever.
sorry, mr. sheldrake.
you're not going to bring anybody up to my apartment.
especially not miss kubelik.
no key!
i dig.
thank you, sir.
no i didn't.
that's right, mr. sheldrake. i won't be needing it -- because i'm all washed up around here.
just following doctor's orders. i've decided to become a mensch. you know what that means? a human being.
save it. the old payola won't work any more. goodbye, mr. sheldrake.
sure, doc.
well, i have things to do --
yeah -- i'm giving up the apartment.
i don't know. all i know is i got to get out of this place.
me? oh, you mean my body. don't worry, doc -- it'll go to the university -- i'll put it in writing --
can you use a bottle of champagne?
no, thanks -- i don't feel like it. look, doc -- in case i don't see you again -- how much do i owe you for taking care of that girl?
you know me with girls. easy come, easy go. goodbye, doc.
i'm fine.
i'm fine all over.
of course not.
let me get another glass.
who knows? another neighborhood -- another town -- another job -- i'm on my own.
in there.
what about mr. sheldrake?
i love you, miss kubelik.
did you hear what i said, miss kubelik? i absolutely adore you.