aw-shit!
how much farther?
oh, fuck it.
hey, this feels kinda good.
hey, do you mind if i talk a little? i feel like, i don't know, talking i guess.
funny, i've never been a talker. my wife was always getting on me about that. 'say what you feel, tell me what's bothering you, you ve got to talk to me.' i never would though. not really.
i don't know. part of me wanted to but part of me always said, 'what's she going to be able to do?' i don't know. maybe i didn't trust her.
my margaret.  i loved her but you know what? i cheated on her. all the time. i don't even know why. it wasn't the sex, margaret was great in bed. i think if i wasn't married i wouldn't have even looked at some of those women. i knew she couldn't trust me, so how could i trust her? if she was here right now i'd think that i would tell her that i was sorry.  'course, if she were here right now, maybe i wouldn't feel like talking.
i think i've heard of you.
you're pretty famous aren't you?
i know this may seem like a strange question, but can i ask you how much the contract was for -- not to insult you or anything, i know you're a professional, but just for me, i was just wondering.
oh yeah? i guess we still need to see that price tag. like art, right? you hang some painting that looks like baby-puke in your living room only if it costs a bundle.
one hundred thousand? that's it? jesus.  is that a lot?
shit.  oh well.
i have been thinking about this for a long while. i knew this day was coming. i knew someday someone would make the call on me. i never thought about anyone that i had whacked. what do you call it anyway?
'taken.' that's nice. when i had someone taken i would call our general contractor, transfer the money and as soon as i hung up the phone i forgot about them.
that's exactly what i told myself.
i always wondered what i'd be thinking at this exact moment. i imagined that i would be thinking about the fucker who contracted this, trying to figure out who it was.
that's what our general contractor told us but how can you trust someone like that?
i thought that i would be thinking about margaret, or work, or that i'd be having these deep, profound and depressing thoughts but i'm not. i'm trying to think really profound thoughts, but i can't. it seems very funny to me.
i'm thinking about moonpies. ain't that funny? i haven't had a moonpie since i was ten years old. right now, i'm thinking how much i'd love one.
can i ask you something?
what do other guys do?
do they get down on their knees, begging and crying?
when i thought about this, that was always there, in the back of my head, that image of me on my knees, crying. it wouldn't go away and it would really upset me. it was something that i could never get away from.  but now, i feel it's okay. i feel good.
anything.
you mean quit?
i used to think about it. i had margaret. she wanted kids. i thought about moving somewhere far away like, europe. i could see all of that, the first part, the getting away but i couldn't see that next part. 'then what?' so i'd stop thinking about it and go back to work. you understand?
i always pictured that i would end in some land fill, under someone else's garbage. i kept picturing those plastic diapers filled with some baby's green shit, covering me. but this is nice.
look at that. i haven't watched the sun set in a million years. do you mind?
nice.  real nice.