hello, austin. this is basil exposition, chief of british intelligence.
i just wanted to be extremely clear so that everyone knows what's going on at any given time. we've just received word that dr. evil, the ultimate square, is planning to take over the world.
i'm afraid not. earlier this week, dr. evil escaped from zedel edel prison in baaden baaden and now he's planning a trap for you tonight at the electric psychedelic pussycat swinger's club in picadilly circus here in swinging london.
good luck, austin.
oh, and austin&emdash;
be careful.
as you know, gentlemen, dr. evil had himself frozen in 1967. soon after, austin powers volunteered to have himself frozen, in the event dr. evil should ever return. we believe dr. evil has begun yet another plot to take over the world. and that, gentlemen, is why we're here.
no, he worked freelance, an internationally renowned swinging photographer by day and the ultimate gentlemen spy by night.
you're in the ministry of defense. it's 1997. you've been cryogenically frozen for thirty years.
the shouting is a temporary side- effect of the unfreezing process.
you might also experience a slight fever, dry mouth, and flatulence at moments of extreme relaxation. austin, this is commander gilmour, strategic command, and general borschevsky, russian intelligence.
a lot's happened since you were frozen, austin. the cold war's over.
we won, austin.
it's dr. evil.
immediately. you'll be working with ms. kensington.
no, austin, mrs. kensington has long- since retired. ms. kensington is her daughter.
vanessa's one of our top agents.
yes, well. agent kensington will get you set up. she's very dedicated. perhaps, a little too dedicated. she's got a bit of a bug up her ass. good luck, austin, the world's depending on you.
oh, and austin&emdash;
be careful.
hello austin. hello vanessa. this is basil exposition, from british intelligence.
oh, and austin&emdash;
be careful.
hello, austin, this is basil exposition from british intelligence. thank you for confirming the link between dr. evil and virtucon. find out what part virtucon plays in something called project vulcan. i'll need you and vanessa to get on that immediately.
where is vanessa, by the way?
then you'll have to go it alone. good luck.
oh, and austin&emdash;
let me remind you that because of the unfreezing process you might experience flatulence at moments of extreme relaxation.
there's one more thing, austin.
be careful.
austin, vanessa, let me bring you up to speed. dr. evil has high-jacked a nuclear warhead from kreplachistan and is holding the world ransom for one-hundred billion dollars. if the world doesn't pay up in four days, he's threatening to destroy the world.
what's the other?
what's the other thing you're scared of?
what?
indeed. if we could get back to the business at hand. it's one thing to have a warhead, it's quite another thing to have the missiles to launch it.
good god, and underground missile. we've long feared such a development.
austin did some reconnaissance work at alotta fagina's penthouse last night.
top drawer, kensington. oh, austin, i want you to meet somebody.
austin, this is my mother, mrs. exposition. she's in from tunbridge wells
my god, austin, what have you done?
get away from my mother!
damn it, man! you're talking about my mother!
all right, austin, i think you should go.
i'm leaving! oh, and austin?
be careful.
my god, man, don't you understand? it won't just be active volcanoes, inactive ones will erupt as well. seven-eighths of the earth's land mass will be deluged with hot magma. tectonic plates will shift, causing massive earthquakes. imagine no united kingdom. think of it, no cricket, no tea, no freshly toasted crumpets smothered with devonshire clotted cream, the diving mystery of stonehenge. imagine severing forever the continuity of britannic majesty, the demise of this sceptered isle, this jewel, this england.
i'm afraid we've lost contact with him.
well, austin, you've stopped dr. evil from destroying the world with his subterranean nuclear probe, and somehow you and agent kensington managed to escape unscathed from his evil lair.
not quite, actually. vanessa, i have something for you.
because of your exemplary service to her majesty, you are now officially an active field agent with all the privileges and responsibilities thereof.
austin, i have something for you as well.
here's the number of my dentist, he's first rate. ring him up, he'll look after you.
austin, now, about your next mission&emdash; still kissing vanessa, austin motions with his thumbs to the pilot of the helicopter to lift basil up. he rises away in mid- sentence.
but, wait, i&emdash; you got me again. oh, and austin&emdash;
be careful!