and i love you, mrs. powers.
look how beautiful the night sky is.
yeah, and that looks just like uranus.
well, you know.
yeah, what is that?
oh well, i guess it was nothing.
care for some champagne? here's to monotony-- i mean, monogamy!
hello? vanessa? what are you doing, luv?
vanessa, you're a fembot!
machine gun jubblies, how did i miss those?
i can't believe vanessa, my bride, my one true love, the woman who taught me the beauty of sharing your whole life with another, the person who taught me the meaning of love, was a fembot. how will i ever go on? wait a tic! that means i'm single! oh, behave!
yeah, baby, i'm free! i'm naked and free!
shaguar, baby, yeah!
gor blimey, i'm on empty! that's funny, i just filled the shaguar up this morning.
you always are, basil. listen, the weirdest thing just happened, i've run out of petrol.
vanessa tried to kill me, basil. she was a fembot!
new case? very shagadelic, basil!
that sounds easy enough, you know what they say: all work and no shagging makes austin a dull boy, man!
tres chic, baby.
ta, reg. bless your cotton socks. hey, reg, do you have any hobbies?
hobbies, man! i for one enjoy making models!
one at a time, girls. one. at. a. time!
of course you haven't had "the pleasure", we just met, baby, yeah!
thank you. your breasts are amazing.
and what's your name, baby?
excuse me?
and i vanna toilet made of solid gold but it's just not in the cards, now is it?
now, which one is the russian spy? cindy crawford, rebecca romajin.  or ivana humpalot? think, man, think!
alright, baby! love it. turn and pout for me baby! smashing!
great, darling. give me some shoulder. yes, yes, yes. no! no!
show me love. smashing! you're an animal. you're a tiger. be a tiger, baby! you're great! you're grrrrrr- eat! you're tony, be corn flakes, baby, be frosted. now be a lemur, baby! you're a ring-tailed lemur.
a small mammal native to the african savannah. c'mon baby, you know. like this! ok, predator coming! now, burrow, burrow! you're a lemur. it's all you've got. i take it back. be a tiger again. smashing!
and.  done! i'm spent!
i didn't forget, baby. miss humpalot and i are going to have a 'private session'.
november, 1964, dutch east indies, shore leave.
i once had a bad experience with frostbite. i had to dip my tadger into a brandy snifter.
i can guess, baby.
i guessed wrong.
they wear large hats?
wrong again.
of course. the.  horsey.  moves in an l shape.
let's stop playing games with each other.  especially difficult ones. may i ask you a question, miss humpalot?
do i make you horny? do i?
grrrr, baby.
grrrr. ruf! ruf! wait a tick, i don't want him watching me while i'm on the job!
groovy, baby!
crikey, i've lost my mojo.
there must be some kind of mistake, basil. maybe i was drunk and i didn't know it.
i took a viagra and it got caught in my throat. i've had a stiff neck for hours. basil, is it true? have i lost my mojo?
alright, miss, just let me finish this article on the suez crisis.
what's going on?
but the test hasn't even started!
wait, i can explain, man! i was going to shag her but the article was so fascinating--
without my mojo, i'm useless to the ministry and to her majesty. i think it's time to retire.
again?
i can't read in the car. i get a bit vomy.
got it. i almost gipped.
but basil, isn't that the new volkswagen beetle?
so, basil, if i travel back to 1969 and i was frozen in 1967, i could go look at my frozen self. but, if i'm still frozen in 1967, how could i have been unthawed in the 90's and traveled back to the sixties? oh, no, i've gone cross-eyed.
this is smashing basil. i'll go back to the sixties, recharge my mojo, defeat dr. evil and be back in time for tea.
luck has nothing to do with it, basil.
sorry. swinging sixties, here i come, baby, yeah!
i feel better already, man!
alright, baby, a swinging shin-dig!
'there's a sexual revolution, you
hey, watch out squares.  you makes us bored! the penis is mightier
that's my beetle, baby.
powers by name, powers by reputation.
crazy, baby!
oh, i've beaten dr. evil before, and i'll beat him again.
welcome to my shag pad, baby.
care for something to drink?
or perhaps something to read?
how about a hot cup of coffee?
oh, behave!
would you like a.  mas-sage? a sensssual mas-sage?
how does that feel, baby?
how does that feel, baby?
crikey!!!
sorry.
hello, anyone home? c'mon lads, do it for england.
would you 'like to see my etchings?
i'll get you some pjs.
oh, you'll want to clean your teeth then.
hello vicar!
felicity, i used to think that way, too, but i guess.  i guess i've changed. not to make a short story long, or to ramble on and on, or to keep talking in a repetitive manner ad infinitum until it becomes impossible to remember what i was talking about in the first place, but- where was i?
oh yes. felicity, i can't shag you. i've lost my mojo.
i thought coming back to the sixties would bring it back, but it hasn't.
i'll warm up the jumbo jet, baby!
how are you baby?
good on ya. i don't know what that means but it sounds fab.
guru, i'm having trouble performing.
you know- my bits and pieces are a bit sleepy.
i've forgotten the steps to the mummy- daddy dance.
my flag's at half mast and no one will salute it.
my willie don't work.
that's my problem.
alright, easy. felicity and i were all set for some hump olympics and i couldn't bat for six.
you have no idea what i'm saying, do you?
guru, i've lost my mojo.
lost love? oh, you mean vanessa?
she was an evil robot minion of dr. evil. i couldn't have loved her.
oh, i get what you're saying now! he's talking about free love, baby! tune in, turn on, and drop out!
no way, man. the only way to surround yourself with love is to throw a swinging shin-dig! yeah, baby, yeah!
this shag-in is gonna blow your mind, baby, yeah!
you'll thank me later, baby.
hey! ricardo monteblan, how are you?
crazy, man!
don't do anything i wouldn't do- at least not without me.
oh, behave!
you're very exotic, baby. do you have a little english in you?
would you like to?
the austin powers sexy dictionary defines an eskimo hooker as a frosty prosty.
those are skin tight. how do you get into those pants, baby?
hello, i am baron von firstinbed. last night i had german-chinese food. an hour later i was hungry- for power.
did you hear about the contortionist who was engaged to be married?
that's not a pretty sight. who is he?
how do you know?
who's the girl?
hello, hello.
who are you today, baby?
swallows? that's an interesting name. are you english?
well which is it, baby, spitz or swallows? either way, it's a pleasure.
charmed, i'm sure. how do you do? yes, quite. i always enjoy meeting new people. how's your mum? good. i love shaking hands.
so, who was your friend?
it suits him.
ok. would you happen to know if he's in business with a man named mr. evil?
really? i said mister evil. austin does a smug take.
something to drink? would you like a mister pepper?
really? i said mister pepper.
oh, behave!
can i ask you a question?
thank you.
oh, yes. would you like to shag? would you?
you're a bit of alright.
sorry baby, too late. he's as dead as vaudeville.
you know i can't tell you details about the future, baby, it could alter history.
there've been a lot of advances in the nineties, baby. the economy is stable, people take better care of their health concern for the environment is on the rise and, um, let's see, there's an entire television channel dedicated to golf.
it's not so bad once you get used to it. the nineties are about responsibility. you know, having respect for yourself and other people. i even got married.
well, it turns out there were some casualties, baby. don't you think you'll ever get married?
oh, behave!
oh my god!
no, written here on my hand, see?
says 'oh my god!'
felicity, i haven't had this much fun since i worked undercover in amsterdam-- '66 i think it was.
very impressive.
yes, i think i'm coming down with something.
i'll get some ice cream. would you like some?
could i have two scoops of vanilla, please?
yes, please.
i will, thank you.
yes please.
no, laryngitis.
basil!
i just had ice cream. listen to me, i have dairy throat. "mary had a little lamb and it was always gruntin'. she tied it to a five bar gate and kicked it's little-
but how can we track fat bastard?
how did you get close enough to plant a homing device?
you.  him? just like that?
did you use an elaborate set of pulleys? a block and tackle?
i just can't get my head around it, baby. you're so small and he's so .  not small. the sheer mechanics of it are mindboggling!
i got it! a chinese basket with a counter-weighted ballast. that's how you did it, right?
who, me? that's not possible, baby! is it?
get down!
according to the readings, dr. evil's headquarters is over the next ridge.
sure.
mmmmmmm. mmmmm.
i seem to be stuck in your dirty pillows.
i think they're in the tent.
have you got it out yet?
oh, anything that catches my fancy.
oh, it stretches to fit.
are you almost done? i can't hold it much longer.
yes. listen, felicity, about fat bastard-
you're right, felicity, i can't deny it. but the world changed, and i changed too.
ow! my back hurts.
i'm fine, just keeping packing.
we meet again, dr. evil.
dr. evil your plan will never--
my mojo!
i don't care if he is evil, you don't give a man a shot in the pills. it's just not cricket, baby.
why don't you just shag fat bastard again?
ouch, baby, very ouch. i'm wounded.
no, baby, you're right. i was wrong to judge you. i guess i am.  jealous.
that austin is gone. i've changed. i knew someone, not long ago, a very special woman. she taught me that life isn't about jumping into the sack with whoever comes along, it's about caring and responsibility. and while it is true she turned out to be an evil robot minion of dr. evil, i suppose i really did.  love her.
yes, vanessa.
with me?
groovy, baby!
alright, what if i pretend to be desperately ill with food poisoning? the guard, drawn by my cries of pain, will come to investigate. meanwhile, you dig a pit and line it with makeshift punji sticks made from sharpened toothbrushes. the guard falls in, bob's your uncle, and we've got the key. what do you think?
i'm very firmly wedged.
almost.  got it!
let's go get my mojo!
i'm not sure.
watch out, baby, he-bots!
i can't fight them without my mojo.
smashing, felicity, you were making me very horny, man! extremely randy, indeed!
fat bastard!
give me back my mojo, fat bastard!
maybe inside that fat bastard there's a thin bastard, trying to get out
hold on, i have something very important to do.
sound as a pound, my spuds are boiling. fancy a shag?
c'mon, luv, let's hop on the good foot and do the bad thing!
right, the moon. i think i know someone who can give us a lift.
gor blimey, you'd have to be a rocket scientist to figure this stuff out.
felicity, if you get frightened, just hold my hand.
to be honest it was terrifying. it felt like sitting on top of a bomb. as i punched through the atmosphere, i said 'oh my god!' and i soiled myself.
no, i mean i soiled myself just now when i said oh 'my god!'
mission control, the swinger has landed.
this is one small step for man, but a giant step for shagging. can you imagine it, baby, weightless? the permutations are mind-boggling.
god save the queen.
shhh.
of course i did, baby, i got my mojo working overtime.
oh, behave!
poor little bugger. he's so small, he's like a dog or something.
poor little bugger. felicity, be careful! dr. evil is still alive! felicity?
alright, slap-head, turn around. slowly.
felicity! what have you done to her?
i've got my mojo back, man, i can do both.
hands off my joystick, baby.
see, dr. evil i told you i could do both.
noooooo!
felicity! felicity. wake up! wake up! please god, don't take her away.
felicity, you have to understand, i thought i had my mojo back. this isn't fair.
i love you, felicity! i know i couldn't say it before, but i really do love you! dr. evil, i'll kill him!
i have to commandeer this vehicle. hey, aren't you hutch?
i'm going to kill you, you bastard!
really?
how so?
i didn't think that felicity was going to die, man.
felicity!
i choose love, baby.
felicity, i love you.
that was another place and another time, baby.
sorry, baby, i got a little over- stimulated.
what do we do?
i don't have it!
uh-oh. i think i just got my mojo back. really.
come with me, felicity! it's the only way out!
if i did, anyone can. let's go, baby!
don't worry baby it takes some getting used to. let me ask you felicity, do you feel any side effects from the time travel?
i love you, felicity.
do you want to get married?
thank god.