care for a ride?
it was your beetle. get in.
austin powers, i presume?
felicity shagwell, cia. shagwell by name, shag-very-well by reputation.
grab the wheel, would you?
well, austin, i think this time you may have met your match.
i was talking about me.
yes, i rather fancy a grind.
mmm, lower.
wait, something's itching me.
that's better.
oh, that was so relaxing. felicity stretches very sexily.
i think i'm ready for bed.
no, i'm ready for bed.
no, i want to have sex with you, austin.
i've studied everything about you- your methods, your accomplishments, your preferences. you're the reason i became a spy. now, i've waited two years to meet you, so i say we get busy making up for lost time.
oh.
austin, don't worry. i know just the man to help you. he's my guru. ringo recommended him and he's the best.
there he is. that's my guru.
guru, i'd like you to meet austin powers.
guru, we need some advice.
he's impotent!
who's vanessa?
let's split up and scope the scene.
no, but i bet it really hurts.
well you can start by buying me a drink.
you're thor? i'm tho thor i can hardly thit.
yeah, i heard she broke it off.
look at that.
until recently he worked security for the mod, but we think he might be a double agent, possibly for dr. evil.
we've noticed that his lifestyle has changed dramatically. he's made a lot of cash purchases, he's hanging out with foxes half his age, and he's becomes quite a fixture on the london party circuit.
i don't know, but it looks like he's splitting.
i'll follow him. you see what you can get out of the girl. we'll rendezvous later.
i love a man with a large appetite.
i never would have thought that a man of such tremendous girth could be such a, um, creative and sensuous lover!
austin, tell me about the nineties.
not details, just what it's like. you know, what's the scene? where's it at?
sounds awful.
you? married? what about the sexual revolution?
no, not until i get a little more 'experience' under my belt.
what is it! is it fat bastard?
austin, look.
1965, actually. you posed as a dutch cheese expert to stop dr. evil from poisoning the world's water supply.
i've studied your file, austin. i want to be a trailblazer, just like you. the seventies are right around the corner. it's going to be a glorious time for fashion and music and technology-- it won't be long before every flying car has its own 8-track.
the cia has always been a boy's club until now. well move over, this chick's taking over.
austin, your voice!
no thanks.
i planted a homing device on him last night.
i shagged him, i shagged him rotten.
yes, austin, we needed that information.
austin, it almost sounds like you're jealous.
we're obviously on the right track. it looks like fat bastard is-on an island in the middle of the ocean.
can i have a look?
question is, how do we get in?
austin, did you hear me?
where are the topographical maps that basil drew up?
good lord, austin, what sort of things do you put in there?
how do you manage to fit it all in?
here we go, one hammer. it's amazing how much this duffel bag will hold.
do you want everything to go back in?
it's my job, austin. you of all people should understand that. marakesh, 1962. rome, 1964. tokyo, 1966. i know your record backwards and forwards. you've had more sex on the job than a swedish stewardess.
are you ok?
dr. evil, do you like real estate?
now you've got a couple of achers.
how are we going to get out of here?
austin, that is it! i don't know what happened to you in the nineties, but i'm still here, in the sixties, and i still swing! don't try to lay your hang-ups on me just because you lost your mojo! that one hurts.
i'm sorry, austin, that was a cheap shot.
but the austin powers i knew was wild and crazy and free. he could never be jealous.
was that your wife?
listen, austin, i can't pretend to understand everything you've gone through, but i trust you. i'll make you a deal: if we get out of here alive, i'll give monogamy a try.
yes, silly.
we need to lure the guard inside and get his key.
that might work, but how about this?
what do you think of these, my man?
it's very hot in here, don't you think?
it's very hot in here, don't you think?
austin!
if you want something done.
where's your mojo, austin?
who said anything about fighting?
hold on, let me ask you one question.
are you happy?
you didn't answer my question, are you happy?
are you happy?
how do you feel?
austin, we don't have time.
dr. evil's taken his laser to the moon. the world is in danger.
yaaaaa-hoooo!
basil, it was amazing!
naughty boy!
let's find dr. evil.
austin, you've done it! you got dr. evil!
austin, i'm going ahead. cover my rear!
don't worry about me austin. you've got to save the world!
but i thought-
can't. breathe.
use your mojo!
trust me, you do!
austin, you did it!
austin, you had it all along. no one can take your, mojo away from you!
austin, you have to get to the time portal!
austin, will i fit in the nineties?
sorry!
i'm as healthy as a horse.
and i love you.
absolutely not.