chaos.
easy for you to say, ya prick. waltzin' in here like you own the joint.
so who's the new potential ex-wife? i thought you were still wastin' time with tanya-von-what's-her-name.
save it, pal! don't even bother! i may not have gone to a fancy school like bendover --
-- but when wills keane comps three bottles of dom to a twenty-year-old girl, then tells me he did it 'cause he likes the kid's grandma, i smell a rat!
he's gonna do it! i don't believe it! he moved us back here for nothing!
is that what you think? buddy, since we hit town, i have done nothin' but cut you slack! every week a new woman on your arm and i didn't say a word. why? 'cause i figured at least they're in the right demographic. maybe by accident you'll trip over something substantial. but this little girl? best she could be is miss right's daughter!
hey, they're bigger than you are!
a kid figured that out?
what?
she used you, pal.
the hangman got hanged. how's it feel?
so what now?
how come?
i don't know, when you talk about her, you're not such an arrogant son of a bitch. you get all whiny and stupid. i like that.
and since i don't see you gettin' serious with any of your other victims, i figure why not spend a little time together?
i got bad news for you, brother, so are you.
oh no, your boy made it! at ten minutes before close! all night i got a card announcing a halibut special, only i got no halibut! now it's sunday and i got three dozen cats lickin' their chops in the alley! tony, i don't wanna hear it! i don't wanna hear it! i don't wanna -- man, go to hell!
are you familiar with the phrase, "mind your own god damn business?"
no, your business is to smile, make friends, and get rich! my business is the business.
what're you doin' here, anyway? you got a girl. go home. carve a pumpkin.
why not? no, seriously. why not?
every year. you got no imagination.
what's goin' on?
at home.
o, ricky, chill out! you're gonna get snot in the water!
that's it -- outta the pool!
we got a volunteer!
you know, in my day, you bobbed for the apple, and, sure, maybe there was a nickel inside it and that was sweet -- but you ate the god damn apple! these little animals grab the coin and they're out the door!
exactly my point.
the prince of darkness?
yeah, he went upstairs.
where the hell you been?
where's charlotte?
who's the broad? she looks like a holiday-inn hooker from ohio.
nobody!
last time i checked i was your best friend!
so after the party, no thank you! i call you three times -- no call back! and for six days you don't even eat at your own god damn restaurant! what am i supposed to think? huh?! i was ready to call the morgue!
well, you sure don't look it!
i'll tell you why it's my concern! because i had a god damn swimming pool! an ocean view! a fabulous lemon tree hangin' right over my jacuzzi! and i gave it up for you, brother! back to a life of concrete and dirt and sirens just so you could get your shit together!
on my roof? you gotta be kiddin'! not on my green chair! tell me it wasn't on the green chair.
oh, great. now how am i gonna clean that?
what the hell is that? some sorta shrink talk?
buddy, i hate to break it to you, but in the real world.  where i live.  there're only two kindsa love stories. boy loses girl and girl loses boy. that's all there is. somebody always gets left behind. you try to avoid that, you'll end up an old man toastin' yourself with egg nog in the mirror on christmas eve. you'll end up dying in your own arms.
yeah, how come, uncle wills?
where're you goin'?
but that was last month.
now you got me curious.
you seen celia?
the matter is i got a half-hour wait and no help up front! you got a call on two!