i was at my mother's house. did they call you? they said they were going to call you.
you should have seen my father. i said, "pa, you have another grandchild coming." so he said, "who?" so i said, "charlie." so he said, "that little helen?" so i said, "if it isn't that little helen, charlie better leave town." so out came the beer. well, they've been after charlie to have a baby for a long time now. i said, "pa, leave him alone. let him get established before he saddles himself with a baby." anyway, i want you to know joy reigns supreme in your in-laws' house. how's charlie taking it?
no, no, i've been drinking beer for the last two hours, celebrating your baby.
no, honey, you go on with your wash. is that what you're doing? when i had my first baby, mike was ashamed to be seen on the streets with me. well, listen, he was interning at the time. we needed a baby like a hole in the head. that's why he's a general practitioner now, because of that baby. he was studying to be a surgeon. he absolutely refused to admit i was pregnant. even in my ninth month, and i was as big as a house. he used to walk ten paces in front of me in the street like he didn't know who that woman with the belly was. where is charlie anyway?
oh, yeah. i wouldn't let my mike go on a bachelor party.
are you kidding? what do you think these bachelor parties are for, bachelors? this is for the married men. it's a good excuse to get drunk and find some girls.
wait'll you've been married eleven years.
wait'll you've been married eleven years.
wait'll charlie gets to be forty-two. my mike's having an affair right now with one of his patients right now. we don't talk about it -- don't you, either, not even to charlie. but mike knows i know about it. i even know the patient. a married woman with a hyperthyroid problem. my mike's a good doctor with a pretty good practice. the kids are crazy about him. but every now and then he has to go out and get involved with a woman.
listen, i will take a cup of tea if you've got one.
would i kid about something like that?
i don't know why i told you. don't tell anybody, not even charlie. i don't want the family to know. but this woman isn't the first one. i know that much. about three years ago, the doorbell rings. i open the door. there's a man there. he says: "tell your husband to stay away from my sister." how would you like to open the door and have somebody say that to you? i cried for two weeks. i don't know what to do about it, helen. should i bring it out in the open with mike or should i just keep my mouth shut like the other time? because he's not going to leave me. even if he doesn't care about me, he has his kids to think about. we married too young. that was our big mistake. we married too young.
we should have waited till he finished his internship. what kind of married life is that? twenty-two dollars a month he was earning. every other day, he had to sleep in the hospital. the first two years of our marriage, we didn't even see each other. and then i'm pregnant. he had to quit, what do you think? he wanted to be a surgeon, he wound up being a g.p. from that day he hated me. i had two other children by him, but he hated me. he told me in just so many words. why do you think i kept telling you, helen, why do you think i kept telling you: "don't have a baby till charlie finds himself." it hurts! even after eleven years, it hurts!
i'm all right. i'm all right.
 he's a boy, my mike. till the day he dies, he'll never be more than fifteen. perpetual adolescence, that's the curse of the professional man. he spends his whole youth trying to be a doctor, a lawyer, an accountant. then he spends the rest of his life looking for the fun he should have had when he was a boy.
it's very hard on the wife, helen. these are the years when you should be building your marriage. instead, you grow away from each other. i've seen it happen with my friends. in the end, they have nice homes in new rochelle, and a maid, and their maids are happier than they are. but sometimes it does work. it can be done, helen. encourage charlie to stay with his school because.
 he's an ambitious boy .
 and if he doesn't fulfill himself, he'll resent you and your baby the rest of his life.
then get rid of the baby.
if i had it to do again, believe me, that's what i would do.
yes, i do. my children are the only things in my life now, but i would rather have a husband.
that's what i said, too.
all right.