okay, timmy.  hold that smile.  and watch the birdie.
there.
we see he has his camera and backdrop set up in the camera department behind a velour curtain which blacks out the rest of the store. he's conservatively dressed in a suit, vest and tie. he looks like he could be a young republican. but under those sears clothes is a man a little off center. rick's best friend. need we say more? he takes the film out of the camera. the matronly mother is in the process of gathering up her baby.
these should be in the mail to you by next friday.
next.
whoa. look at those babies.
how are we doing? my name is o'neill. and you are?
mrs.?
then there is a god. why don't we take that baby picture.
if i were you, i'd breast feed until i was 17 or 18. tell ya what.
why don't you lean into the picture with your child?
a-huh. a little more.  good!
he gets out from behind the camera.
i'm getting one heck of a glare off your dress there. could you undo a few buttons?
now lean in a little more.  more.  more.
hold that pose.
he runs from behind the camera and poses with the woman.
where'd she go?
okay.  be right with ya.
rick's got an important announcement to make.
what?
hold it.  as long as you're gonna go through with this, the least we can do is make sure you go out in style.
yeah. right. all the things that make life worth living.
to rick.
the way i see it, the big lug is in love and he's got a lot of major appliances lying around.
don't worry, chulo, the party's not gonna start without you. we got plenty of time.
where the hell is he?
so, larry, how have you been?
larry, you and your wife got problems?
what's the matter?
don't worry, gary's taking care of that now.
we who are about to go ape shit salute you.
the library of congress?
1004, 1003.  aha! 1002.
and now.
to our honored guest rick, and his life-long friends, i say.  . gentlemen, start your boners.
i did the balloons myself.
chulo, one thing at a time.
a bit of a warm-up.
we'll spend an hour with "nymphos without pants".
then it's on to the real thing.
he can't figure it out.
this isn't right.
i don't get it, but at least gary's got the real stuff coming up here in a few minutes.
so, what do you guys think of the party so far?
odd. he's only been gone a few seconds and i already miss him.
hey, i'm starved.  let's go get something to eat. we'll bring back food for everybody.
c'mon. i insist.
let's sit down.
my gift to you.
the best table in the house.
father falwell, good evening.
you done?
so long, father.
i don't get it. why didn't you go for it just now?
wait. the guest of honor should be first.
a moving plea. okay, doc, you lead off. i'll screw clean up.
terrific. you made it.  you can set up over there.
you guys better get going. it's getting late.
rick, i'm concerned.
this is your bachelor party. you haven't had sex with anyone yet.
i got something you can't resist. i have a friend, tracey. she wants to meet you. she loves to please.
right in there, pal.
that's the old rick!
how'd it go?
i'm proud of you, lad.
i don't know.
got me.
still drawing a blank.
very.
all set here.
take care.
hey, you guys.
anybody got a paper towel or a shovel or something?
gentlemen.  ladies.  for your viewing pleasure, meet mike the magical sexual mule.
and here's mike's partner, in more ways than one. a gal who doesn't think happiness ends with primates. the very lovely, miss desiree.
c'mon, we gotta get this thing out of here.
what are you going to do about it?
i'll stop him.  you stall him.
is that all the coke in the place?
good.
the phone's all yours.
reach out and snort someone.
guess who's here? another surprise guest.
debbie.
what's with her costume?
you got it.
hi, baby. you're new here. i don't think the groom's had you yet, has he?