good evening. i'm mike -- we're lookin' for a couple of our latin friends who checked in a little while ago. you might remember them? oh, didn't they say? there's going to be party! it's police! on the floor! but the dealers split, rolling out of their chairs. one goes left and the other, right. cut to: what? we tilt up as police helicopter flies overhead. oh man. he tears open the bottle of aspirin. chug-a-lugs. ah, family life. reminds me why i stay single. hiya, kids. mornin', theresa. lowrey pecks theresa on the cheek. she recoils. i promise, theresa. i only tell your husband about my sleazy sex life. the telephone rings. you're live with lowrey. 'scuse me, captain. i think you mean to say, 'get the fuck down here, please?' burnett automatically pulls on his jacket, hugs the children as lowrey hangs up. don't get your sticky fingers all over my windows. and keep your feet off the seats, i just had the leather conditioned. the kids ignore him, gleefully continuing to squirm around. before burnett can get into the car, theresa runs out. if i'm lyin' i'm dyin'. her sister came down and posted the girl's bail. and later? man, talk about special effects. tell you later -- mornin', francine. where's the smile? if it ain't the leftovers from miami vice. fashion casualties, lost somewhere in the eighties. so i guess we should start with the c.i.s and the perps from the original case. but hell if i know any dope dealers with the balls to pull this off. they're either dead or in the lock-up pending trial. hey, fuck you and your cheap, off- the-rack suit. nothing like a little old-fashioned incentive. i think you should go ahead, crawl up and give it a good look. for one, it was your idea. two, while my suit's fresh, you're dressed for the occasion. and i don't? anything? listen, cedras. you and i both know you're the number one importer for the simona brothers. and i'm tellin' you there's a buttload of h on the move and someone's gonna wanna stick their dick in it. so it better not be yours. you hear something? you call us. you hear nada? you better get the fuck outta town. okay. so we talk to max. you got a better idea? raincheck, darlin'. gotta talk. anyplace we can go? sorry to come around only when i need something. hey, i didn't open my mouth. listen, there's some major, major ill shit happening down at the p.d. lotta heroin involved. there's gonna be a lotta cash involved, too. gonna be some happy motherfuckers around that wanna party. just make a coupla calls. see what's what. don't be doin' no wild shit. just call me if you hear something. you know, that was really smooth. think you could do that again? ohh. i'll tell you, when the wife gets meaner, the grass gets greener. i don't think anybody could be that married. miami's the perfect town for you, burnett. you drive like a one- hundred-seven-year-old lady with her turn signal on. you gonna let every old motherfucker pass you? or just the ones with big-ass trailers draggin' behind? a-c-c-el-er-ate. who said that? if somebody's talking about me, i wanna know. man, i'm so sick of this. i don't apologize for nothing i do. i get up early and take it to the max every day. i'm always the first guy through the door. and the last guy to leave a crime scene. so fuck 'em all. i could give a shit what those boot lickin', brown-nosin', ass kissin' motherfuckers think of mike lowrey. what can burnett say to all that, but. oh, fuck you, marcus. the radio crackles. yeah. roger that. gimme the address. the air conditioning business has been good to orona. lowrey rings the bell. they wait. no answer. wait. hear that? i thought i heard orona beating his wife. uh oh. no alarm. no, man. musta been you. now what? a sickened burnett goes over to the body, speaking to orona as if he were alive. jai-alai. dog track. lotta bookies. phone numbers. he trades the plans for his paper and gets popped by the perps. i think we got us a witness. over here i got two different shades of lipstick on one champagne glass. meanwhile -- whatcha got? what? who is it? lowrey instintively pushes past his partner and kneels at the body. he pulls back the sheet. right now he could kill the shooter, then himself. in that order. lowrey's eyes well up. i shoulda told you to be careful. eddie dominguez. i want his phone calls. he flashes a badge. i'm sorry. maybe i wasn't polite enough. with a flashing right jab, lowrey pops the snooty clerk. after the clerk finds his feet, eyes peering over the counter. three calls to lois fields. i'm going to stop by her place and tell her a bedtime story. you can catch a ride with howard. lowrey jumps in the car. this is twenty-one two. i'm gonna need back-up at 614 reach road. lowrey eases inside the darkness of the doorway. he checks the lights, but the power is off. slipping the radio into his coat pocket, he returns with a mini- flashlight and begins to clear a path, doorway by doorway, then moving up a wide stairwell. yeah. thanks for the get-well card. hey. i'm not the one who left a strange hooker alone in my apartment. you know, she's probably on the street sellin' all my shit as we speak. dogs, too? i got persian rugs, man. i'm going home. explain the whole thing, take her to the motel six, she'll understand. yeah, i got a computer and you shouldn't touch it. it took me weeks to get it set up the way i want it and i don't want amateurs messing with it. no way! i'm not living in that zoo. just leave cleveland the way you found it. burnett climbs in, waves out the window. he's dropping it off at the mechanic on the way to the airport. the engine needs an overhaul. or will by the time he gets there. the porsche heads down the block with a grinding of gears. lowrey winces and heads for the volvo when theresa gets in his way. -- that marcus was supposed to do. that's right. marcus. not mike. 'cuz mike's a cop on a case with no time to waste. lowrey's in the volvo and pulling away as fast as he can. captain howard, please. it's lowrey. i just talked to marcus. the girl just i.d.'d one of the shooters -- okay. hang on, cappy. this is prudence and she has to go potty. this is a potty. everyone has to poop and when they do they use the potty. mommies poop. daddies poop. captain howard poops. even doggies poop. so your daddy and i are trapped in this crack house in little havana. these dudes were real mean mothers. and they start coming at us with knives. now i'm scared, thinkin' i'm out for the count when in comes your daddy like a miami hurricane -- oh, hi, theresa. just tellin' the kids about -- g'night, gang. if you were my wife i'd drink it. just a harmless bedtime story. thought the kids deserved to know about the hero they have for a dad. husband? theresa. he's your personal errand boy. you beep the poor s.o.b. every hour on the goddamn hour? and why is it always about some useless bullshit that can wait until later. i mean, the guy's gotta job to do. touche, theresa. you should recognize trunk. it's the one you came to america in. oh, please. big fucking deal. you know what i had to do? i drove your kids to school this morning. your son forgot his homework. so i had to drive him all the way back in that junker of yours -- what's that you're wearin'? is that my new silk shirt? is that my shirt? ugh. i gotta call the wife. yeah, what's up, baby. uh-huh. yeah. okay. what else? you want me do what? lowrey glances over at burnett who's clearly loving the fact that it's lowrey's turn at errand boy. so lowrey. mmm. uh-huh. hectic down here. i'll be in, nine. nine-thirty. the kids alright? how's that potty thing? yeah? okay. alright. lowrey turns to block the phone, depressing the switch, but acting as if he's still on with theresa. say, why don't you rent a movie or somethin'? uh-huh. you're so silly. so, baby. what you wearin'? man, it's off. it was a joke. marcus, this is crazy. we are five minutes away from picking up this asshole and returning to our lives. and we're here doin' this shit. where the fuck is it? you know, this is like some really bizarre shit that you're on right now. your wife asked me to do this, and i'm doin' it. besides, i'm you, remember? you're unbalanced. listen, i read the parole jacket on this guy noah. armed robbery. attempted murder. he's a violent offender somethin' like nine times. sweet guy. not a single drug bust on his sheet. you know, it is a damn shame she makes you buy this stuff. terrible fuckin' job. it's like shaving cream. they're all the same. fresh. free. confident. secure. super wide? what the fuck? we're takin' this one. water and power. i dunno. maybe some kind of hurricane anchor. they knock again. the chain jerks slightly. we're undercover! now, we're lookin' for the owner of that animal. everglades. only part of south florida that's zoned for wild kingdom shit. 'course, the crocks down there'll probably eat your brother's cat. very nice. the occasion? what's that on the rug? looks like. a stain? teeth grit. and have you ever heard of a new invention called the 'coaster'? as he tries buffing the table with his sleeve. no. it's not my place. my wife. she's a designer. she decorated the whole place at a discount just for mike. and when she hears about how he's been taking care of -- off the couch! lowrey chases the dogs into the bedroom. one of the dogs runs out with a cole hahn loafer in his mouth. they both follow him into the bedroom. 'the hell's going on out here?? yvette!? you didn't just send away yvette? you are ruining my life! i say we split the room in half. make our own moves. hook back up at the bar in twenty minutes. anything? what the hell are you doing here? well, whatever he said, you remember to tell me later. the music's too loud. what you say about angels? noah closes the gap. through the crowd he draws down on lowrey. launches himself off a nearby table, soars over the frightened crowd and comes crashing down upon noah. both lowrey and noah tumble to the floor. noah's gun skitters into the crowd. noah chases for it, but can't find it. but -- no shit! lemme drive! you're gonna drive through that, aren't you? burnett does, hauling through the light. meanwhile, lowrey has the bubble light in hand, reaches out the window to stick it on the roof, but it simply slides off. he reels it back in the car and hands it off to julie. hold that. c'mon, lemme drive -- i think we protected your uninvited butt pretty good back there. hey, hey. just relax! okay. it's true this whole thing started with missing drugs. but somebody i cared about. a lot. she got killed. and i'm not gonna lay down until this guy is dead or put away. and i promise you, we'll take care of you. hey. what do i gotta say? i need you, okay? i need you. magic words. julie's swayed, despite herself. nah. some smooth shit i got on my own. he puts his arm around her and they walk back. smells like some kinda chemical. one day, bro. gotta get yourself some of them. lowrey hears sobbing. he gently shuts the kids' door and heads down the hall to the: hey, hey. that's not cryin' i hear. theresa. listen to me. nobody's slipping away from you. especially not marcus. you can take my word on that. as for the clothes. lowrey pulls a random item out of a box. it's hideous. okay. just a minor fashion faux paux. those cappuccinos at lunch can do that to you. see what else we got here. that's right. turn around. theresa turns, looking transformed in the outfit put together by lowery. want to? baby. someone i know's gonna burn you right to the ground. get ready! you're on the mic with mike. hello? g'night, everybody. lowrey's at the window. parked just down the street is the same sedan. he goes for the phone and dials. waits for an answer. hey, sanchez. it's me lowrey. yeah? same to you, pal. but listen. i got something you'll want a piece of. what's the matter? go into the kids' room, turn the lights out and wait there until i come get you. marcus! what the fuck -- what? me and theresa? this whole deal has turned you stupid. you're seeing things that aren't there. i'm fine, theresa! will you get the hell out of here before she sees you! you're supposed to be in cleveland. and where's julie? you didn't leave her again. now, listen to me. look over my right shoulder. what do you see . i said look! good. so who do you think's in there? ed mcmahon come to tell us we're sweepstakes winners? we're doing nothing. i've got it handled. in the meantime, you better get back to where you belong before i shoot you myself. wait a minute. that's my desk! lowrey's going to make a move on sinclair when howard appears. insert substance. highly volatile drying agent? the greedy motherfucker! he's cutting the dope. or one really smart sonofabitch. good runnin' into you, jojo. man, it's a good thing you got your memory workin'. cuz that dead man paperwork is a bitch. man. will you get off this? you're making me sick. yeah. somethin' yummy. oh, man. it's the fuckin' pretend police. excuse me. one moment. let's fuck with these bozos. burnett nods his approval. lowrey lowers the window. now, where were we? whoah. you better watch it, fellahs! you know, it would be very bad if you shot and killed two helpless pimps and a call girl. but it would be even worse if you shot two policemen and their witness on a stakeout. looks pass between the hobby cops. now i'm reaching slowly for my shield. very slowly. here it comes. just about got it. ooh, look at that. it's a detective's shield! all gold and shiny. a smart fellah wouldn't fuck with somebody who had one of these in his pocket. so. let's see. i guess that makes us policemen. and you. i don't worry. they're in good hands. i'm on him. hey, buckle up back there. you're gonna keep your sweet ass nice and quiet back at my place. mike's place. i said mike's. lowrey rolls his eyes. he can't wait for this to end. that's the plan. so, mike. loan some of those ass kicking clothes. man, i can't wait to see the look on howard's face when we tell him. holy shit! hi, theresa. honey. mike what? what'd he do? where's julie? lowrey pushes past theresa into -- julie. we wanted to tell you. i especially wanted to tell you -- julie -- we still need you. he reaches for her. julie! drop now! pandemonium. slips behind a pillar as bullets whiz past. swings around the pillar, gun leveled and running after them. julie!!!! meanwhile -- enters. he dives to the floor as casper stops and fires. bullets rip through the salon walls and mirrors. lowrey ends up under an old lady's dress. don't ever say i wasn't there for you. at least i'm me again. i'm lowrey. from his back pocket, the boy extracts a cellular flip phone. he hands it to lowrey. he presses the power button and, almost instantly, it rings. yeah. this is lowrey. you twisted motherfucker. jojo, you sonofabitch. when i get my hands on you, i swear, i'm gonna kill you. the snitch who tipped us to the dope lab? turns out to be a bogus address. you know that once he sells the dope, he's gonna kill her just like he did max. if she dies, i'm done with it. the whole cop thing. so you were alone? yeah. but does he still trust what you tell him? move it or lose it! burnett and lowrey climb from the dumpster and run. casper and ferguson have a clear shot. they level and aim, but. kuh-whoom! the fuel tank on the aircraft explodes. the truck drivers dive for cover. charging for the open hole in the wall. julie! either we o.d. on the air or the whole place blows. we're dying anyway. drop, julie! she drops. burnett has a clear shot when -- don't shoot!!! hold your fire!!! stick around. i'll give you a bullet to bite. finally -- manana, partner. peace. okay, kids. pile in. and watch the leather and windows this time? you see anybody complaining?