loser!
it's not real.
how'd you get sick?
mrs. santa?
what's it like at the north pole?
which one?
you are really santa, right?
okay.
uh-huh.
uh-huh.
uh-huh.
uh-huh.
yeah.
why do you need a car?
this car.
sage terrace. where's your sleigh?
where're the reindeer?
that way. where's the stable?
how do they sleep?
but the noise, how do they sleep?
from the shop.
i thought it was always night at the north pole.
then how do they sleep?
on my head?
how can they drop me onto my own head?
he's on a adventure 'sploring mountains. he been gone a long time.
next year.
she lives in god's house with jesus and mary and the ghost and the long- eared donkey and joseph and the talking walnut.
granma.
granma.
granma, santa's here. are you spry?
nuh-uh.
you need money to fix your sleigh?
you want milk and cookies?
bye santa!
santa!
you're bringing my present early?
but i never told you what i wanted.
okay. good. i want a stuffed elephant. a pink one.
okay.
do you and mrs. santa have kids?
what about the elves?
what about the reindeer?
what're their names?
the elves.
that's the seven dwarves.
-- how old are they?
you want cookies?
warm milk?
should i fix you some sandwiches?
okay. you want anything else?
okay.
okay.
king me.
i cut myself by mistake.
santa here?
part of it.
i was thinking i wanted a purple stuffed elephant, not pink, but now i changed my mind.
now i don't want an elephant at all. i want a gorilla named davy for beating up the skateboard kids who pull on my underwear and he could take his orders from the talking walnut so it wouldn't be my bad thing.
he make it all better?
you went bathroom on mommy's dishes?
he try to teach you not to cry and be a man.
uh-huh.
'kay. thanks, santa.
'kay.
santa?
what're you doing?
you goin' to work today?
you just gonna sit there?
yeah.
umm.
i didn't know he did that.
hello. santa?
i know that christmas eve is in a couple days and you have to fly around and give presents to the world and after that you won't be around no more.
so i thought i'd give you your present now.
a wooden pickle.
not paint. it's blood from when i cut my hand when i was making it for you.
you're welcome. good night santa. good night mrs. santa's sister.
santa!
you wanna see my report card?
think i did good?
yeah.
yeah.
you think i did good?
i thought maybe since at least i did good in school, you'll bring me a present this year. 'cause last christmas and the one before that you didn't bring no presents.
even though i'm a dipshit loser.
i know there's no santa. i just thought maybe you'd wanna give me a present 'cause we're friends.