jesus.
how's it goin'?
i'm goin' downstairs.  i need a melon-bailer and a loofah.
fuck the loofah, let's go.
drive.
jesus christ! can you maybe keep it together for just ten minutes?!
for crying out loud, chew a few of these.  you drunken, fuckin' imbecile!
thanks.  you know, we been at this a long time an' all, so we like to think we do a good job.
oh no, we're fine, w --
willie no, he --
willie.
okay! we're gonna head upstairs now.
such a card.
no, no, no. joke. adult joke. for us. adults.
joke.
merry christmas! santa's coming!
what the fuck you doing, "fuck stick" in front of the boss?
you don't like any guy. you think i can't find another portly motherfuck can run a water drill?
don't tempt my hand. you blow this and we're broke for the year. so stop acting like you know something because, pal of mine, you don't know squat. you're gum on my shoe.
now put on your fuckin' hat and get out there.
it's okay. c'mon.
what's your name?
you can tell me.
how about santa? if you don't tell him, you won't get a present.
that's right. let's tell santa.
just don't come in to work stinkin' of booze again.
lollipop guild, asshole. jesus, two year olds flip me shit better'n you.
yeah. i'm gonna stick my whole fist up your ass.
motherfucker.  oh, you lousy fucking motherfuck.
that's just the kinda shit that's gonna get us pinched!
you promised no arcades! you said you'd only hustle big & tall!
how many times, you fuck? "the bigger the store, the bigger the take." well, we can't work the big stores with your big fucking train wrecks!
what the fuck is this?!
you cocksucker!
ever hear of the open-bottle law?! -- you dumb dipshit motherfucker!
what guy?! you get a look at him?
is there anything in the room? anything professional?
just ditch. you got anywhere to sack out for a while?
you can't just take up with some kid! you don't know who's around, what they do!
you said that last night you stupid fuck!
you are by far the dumbest most pathetic piece of maggot-eaten shit that has ever slid from god's gilded ass! what if the kid has one of those fucking play-dates they have now?
you fuck her?
with me? i fuck one person, i ain't out there serial fornicating, trying to float my liver! drinkin' myself silly 'cause i can't stand what a piece of shit i am!
yeah, that's right, shit-for-brains, talk about my height. make it about something safe. 'cause you're an emotional fucking cripple. your soul is dog shit. every single fuckin' thing about you is ugly.
i've seen anal warts more attractive than you.
you're late.
morning jesse.
you tear your ball again?
let's do the other thing.
there.
next!
oh jeez.
time for the next lucky boy or girl to --
what gives? where's the grandson?
i know you?
how much?
easy! easy! just back off, willie. i can handle this.
okay. thirty percent. there's three of us. thirty percent. that's fair.
i meant thirty-three.
and a third.
thirty-five.
forty.
forty-two?
forty-two five.
fooooooorty.  eight.
forty-nine?
well.
what's one point.
no! money's one thing, but --
ah, he's a fuckin' moron.
fuck you.
fuck you -- you don't like it, next year, fuck off. i can always get another box jockey.
yeah? where? you see us hangin' off of fuckin' trees? like fuckin' crab apples? and even if we did, you'd never front your own racket. 'cause you got no discipline and zero fuckin' initiative. you'd fall apart without me. you're just too fuckin' pathetic --
-- too fuckin' pathetic for words, you fuckin' loser. and you fuckin' know it.
yeah? you fucking petites now?
you need many years of therapy. many, many, many, many, many.  many fucking years of therapy.
no.
holy motherfuck. what do you think you're doing?
you son of a bitch!
what do you mean, get him out of here?
in case you hadn't noticed, i'm a motherfuckin' dwarf. so unless you got a forklift handy, maybe you should lend a hand.
special treatment? i'm three fucking feet tall, asshole -- it's a matter of physics! draw me a sketch how i get him to the car!
sketch it up, fuckin' moron. fuckin' leonardo da vinci.
i called you a fuckin' guinea homo. from the fifteenth fuckin' century.
yeah? you sure it ain't too sore from last night?
well it was on your wife's pussy last night. why don't you dust that thing once in a while. asshole.
there he is.  that lousy, leatherfaced, dago motherfucker.
sorry, the van stalled. give us a jump will ya?
it's hard for me to reach.
thanks.
oh my, what a terrible accident!
no, but it looks like you broke most of his ribs.
i'd say maybe.  fifty percent of them? or do you think thirty percent?
motherfuck!
shit!
put it in reverse.
what are you, drinking sterno now? 'cause you're sounding like my aunt tilly right before she smeared her own shit on the bedroom walls and we had to lock her up and she spent the rest of her life with a shaved head and eating lunch through a tube up her nose.
you better be in shape by this evening, fat man. after tonight, i don't give a shit. but this is the time to reach deep down and suck it up.
lovely boy.
let's go.
oh christ.
all right.
what? what-what-what-what?
so?
yeah, andy pizzarelli?
huh-uh, since he got married they call him an -- what's your fucking point?
yeah? yeah?
are you fuckin' shittin' me?! are you tellin' me after i've propped you up and held you together and smiled for all those kids and danced for all those fucking housewives in a fucking lime-green fucking velvet elf costume you cannot get in that fucking safe? are you fucking telling me that?
store dick don't want shit.
store dick dead. store dick don't want shit.
fuck the fuckin' store dick.
willie. this has been a long time comin'.
every year you're worse. every year, less reliable. more booze. more bullshit. more butt-fucking.
you gotta be able to rely, willie.
believe me, willie: there's no joy in this for me.
oh please. don't gimme that trite "commercialism" crap. this is what we do, willie. we get the shit. christmas time, we get the shit. because we are men. and lois. it is christmas, willie, and we are men, and lois.
good-bye, willie.
huh? !
where did you come from?
oh yeah? well come'n get us, coppers! ha-ha-ha-ha!