satire. 1a. a literary work in which human vice or folly is ridiculed or attacked scornfully. b. the branch of literature that composes such work. 2. irony, derision or caustic wit used to attack or expose folly, vice or stupidity.
bonjour, my name is pierre delacroix. i'm a television writer, also a showrunner, a creative person.
i'm one of those people responsible for what you view on your idiot box.
the problem is not enough of you have been watching.
with the onslaught of the internet, video and interactive games, nine hundred channels to choose from and whatnot, our valued audience has dramatically eroded.
to put it in much more simple terms.
like rats fleeing a sinking ship.
people tuning out by the millions.
which is not good.
good morning, cheeba.
de-la-croix.
not yet.
manray, sloan says you're too talented to be dancing on the street.
good morning, marie.
what staff meeting?
i didn't find out about this very important staff meeting until.
four minutes ago.
i wasn't told about this until marie informed me as soon as i got off the elevator.
why didn't you tell me about this staff meeting?
what good are you if you don't tell me stuff like this?
c.p. time is colored people's time. the stereotypical belief that negroes are always late. that negroes have no sense of time - time except when it comes to music or dance.
i understand. but again, in all honesty i was not informed.
i would prefer you not use that word in my presence.
say it again. c'mon, say it again.
who's a nigger now?
i don't agree. the negro middle class does exist, and it's rich material for a dramatic series or sitcom.
to white? i still feel all of my scripts would make good shows.
i've never been given a fair shot.
i'm an oreo, a sell out? because i don't aspire to do homeboys from out of space, secret diary of desmond pfeiffer, a pj's or some as you might put it, some "nigger" show? i'm a tom? i'm whiter than white and you're blacker than black? is that what you think?
i'm not sure if i can deliver what you want.
what is it you want from me? some plantation follies? some sitcom that takes place on a watermelon patch? some show that follows four nigger generations of junkies and crackheads? you want me to go back to the ante bellum days?
i was never good at performing under the gun.
well, this wasn't a gun, it was a bazooka and it was pressed dead blank right against my dome.
eureka!!
manray!
how did you know?
how can this be? you and me at the same time, the exact same thought. it's scary.
manray was under our nose the whole time.
not yet, but this thing will never get made.
dunwitty wants a coon show. and that's what i'm going to give him, it's going to be so racist, so negative, he won't have the balls to put it on the air. hence i'll prove my point.
the point being that him, the networks don't want black people on television unless they are buffoons.
you getting cold feet?
good. i'm going to need your support.
and lose out on my money? the only way i get paid is if i get fired. and that's what i intend to do.
everything was going according to plan. i was working on the outline. dunwitty was off my back for now.
but there was a catch. a big catch.
manray and cheeba were nowhere to be found.
it was like they had disappeared off the face of the earth.
i had no contact numbers, no address, no beeper.
no nuthin', no clues.
manray better not be bleeding to death. i need him. after we're done he can do whatever he wants to do, until then, he's ours.
eureka! where've you been?
sloan and i have been looking all over for you.
no offense.
i apologize. what would you like to eat? anything you want.
i have this concept for a tv pilot. there's no guarantee it will get made but regardless, you'll still make some money.
first things first. i have to know if manray is up for this.
some tap dancing, some singing.
different.
trust me. of course i still have to pitch it to my boss, but we'll have an answer one way or the other.
that's right. money turns the wheel.
you'll both get an advance and you can stay with me.
i would like to change your name.
you're now mantan.
it's right and tight. good morning, let me introduce you to everybody. you know my assistant, sloan.
this is cheeba.
and this is manray.
we're all happy to be here and i'm going to paint a picture for you.
i've done a lot of soul searching and once again you are right. in my previous work it's been all surface, superficial. i have never really dug deep. not anymore. as mark twain fully understood satire is the way. race has always been a hot button in this country's history and it needs to be pushed harder. if we are ever to live side by side in peace and harmony. it's about promoting racial healing.
i know you're familiar with minstrel shows. they came about at the turn of the 19th century. it was a variety show in which the talent was in blackface - singing, dancing, telling jokes, doing skits. dunwitty, i ask you when was the last time there was a good variety show on the air. carol burnett? heehaw?
so let's take this great form, this very american tradition of entertainment into the 21st century, into the new millennium.
it is called: mantan - the new
it will take a lot of courage and backbone on the part of the cns to get this on the air. in fact, i would understand fully if the subject matter is deemed too risque, too controversial.
i don't know if whoopi is the way to go.
and cheeba is sleep 'n' eat.
mantan and sleep 'n eat. two real coons. i know we're way out there but it's satire.
every week we follow the trials and tribulations of two real coons - mantan and sleep 'n eat. the dusky duo.
ignorant, dullwitted, lazy, and unlucky.
mantan is an uneducated negro who always by some stroke of unbelievable stupidity makes his best laid plans go haywire.
yep, you guessed it.
protest finally forced "amos and andy" off the air. could stop us from ever getting on.
negroes would be in an uproar.
mantan right here is a gifted hoofer. he has educated feet.
do we have characters? how about honeycutt, snowflake, rastus, nigger, jim, sambo, jungle bunny, and how could we forget aunt jemima.
in the projects. like eddie murphy's "the pj's."
i don't know about that plantation angle.
we think so.
i want you to start using the name mantan and not manray if you don't mind.
you have to start getting into your character.
this is mantan moreland.
he was a clown, a buffoon but he was funny.
gentlemen, the show, our show will be satirical. you know what that is, don't you? trust me on this one.
that can be done.
mantan!!
it looks delicious.
c'mon, mommy, don't start with that i'm an ungrateful son stuff.
can't beat it with a hammer. well, since you asked, it looks like i may have a new show, a pilot being shot.
it was. it is. but this is a different kind of show.
mommy, please don't call me that.
i know what's on my birth certificate. you heard from daddy?
to answer your question, there are a lot of negroes in it and what is your definition of buffoons?
please let me know when you hear from daddy, get a number or something.
i feel like somebody hit me upside da head with a sledgehammer.
i'm happy for all of us. it's just we have a great responsibility now. the pressure is on.
i didn't mean it to sound like that.
now i'm privileged?! why? because i didn't grow up on food stamps and welfare? because i didn't call home a cardboard box? no, i never ever went to bed hungry and i'm proud of it, too. whoever told you that living in poverty earns you somekind of badge of honor flat out lied to you.
my problem is mantan the new
it was the principle. dunwitty had to be enlightened. i was making a point. i take pride in my work. plus, i already told you i wasn't gonna walk away from my money.
even if money wasn't an issue, dunwitty will still go ahead without me and that could be more dangerous.
i wouldn't bet against it. my negroidal ass is stuck between the proverbial rock and a hard place.
i strongly feel that a negro should direct this. this kind of satire is a high wire act in a gale storm. one misstep and we're doing "amos and andy." only a negro will have the sensitivity and cultural awareness to navigate this dangerous terrain.
i was hoping to perhaps direct some episodes myself, if not the pilot soon after.
you're telling me some white boy is gonna direct this pilot?
besides, what does he know about negroes?
what are his qualifications besides being a white male and directing a hot new sexy freaky madonna video?
that's exactly my point. has he even directed actors before in anything?
in the immortal words of derrick coleman, whooopdeedamndoo!!!
good morning, for those of you who don't know me, i'm pierre delacroix. i'm running things and this here is my assistant sloan hopkins.
i've never worked with any of you and you've never worked with me so we'll be starting from scratch. i'm a fair person, a straight shooter and i don't hold my tongue. everybody up in here should know i had nothing to do with you being hired.
i would have preferred at least one other negro writer. any questions? comments?
yes, your name?
hi, mona.
oh, is that what i'm doing?
i've heard this somewhere before.
this thing was rigged, the deck was stacked, the fix was in. could don king be near? good thing sloan had my back. she's my rock. this was going to be a whole lot of work.
david, i appreciate your comments. anybody got an ideas? everybody just talk out loud.
the mission was accomplished. all of these people left the room thinking they would have real input. i was writing this pilot alone, myself, me.
now came the fun part, finding the talented performers to cast in the show.
everybody and their mother was trying to get in, trying to be seen. trying to get their piece of the rock.
this was amazing. who had told these negroes that this was what we were looking for? the same old image, it damn for sure wasn't me.
were people this desperate to get work?
thanks, ms. lulu.
that's good. we've seen enough. we'll get back to you.
which one is your brother?
what's your name?
and what are the mau-mau's going to do for us today?
we're ready when you are.
good. we're really blacked-oops, backed up, so shall we begin?
needless to say, the mau-mau's did not fit into our plans.
as i told sloan, there's a black sheep in every family.
finland. this is a travesty. a debacle. a mockery.
nice to meet you. if you don't mind me asking you - how old are you?
dunwitty, don't leave.
where are you from?
finland.
yes, i know. jukka, have you ever seen a negro person before? even had a real conversation with a real negro before?
a fiasco. a disaster. a boondoggle. an abomination.
did you just ask me what's a negro? i'm a negro!!!
well before there was black or african american, there were
how did you get this gig?
this is a tv show, not a music video.
this is a travesty. a debacle.
i'm gonna slit my wrists. cut my throat. for the love of joseph.
for the love of joseph and mary.
i will not be held responsible for these revisions. these changes are not the way i want to go. this is an outrage. this is a sham. a violation!
i don't give a good goddamn about finland, norway, sweden or wherever ya blond ass came from.
funnier to who and at who's expense? dunwitty, when negroes start to run amok, the boycotts, when the demostrations commence, i'm giving them your home address. let's see how you like it when they picket your lawn in greenwich, connecticut.
just want to say good luck.
wait a minute. hold up.
can i kiss you too?
you feel good, not nervous?
not nervous? relaxed?
fired up.
the material is fine.
we're trying to do something new here, some groundbreaking stuff.
your life will never be the same.
what do you want me to say?
good luck, jukka. do a good show.
same here.
i guess it was divine inspiration.
i was trying to be nice.
c'mon. you were only doing what family is supposed to be doing for family. you gave your brother a shot. that's all anybody can ask for, an opportunity, a chance, a shot. he got his.
hello?
this has to be a big mistake.
hold on a sec, i got a call.
hello, mommy, let me get rid of this other call.
i gots to go, it's my moms.
i'll be right over.
he said that?
where is he?
i can't go all the way down south.
i don't even know why you're still concerned over him. daddy's not with you.
it's gonna be hard for me to get away with the show taking off.
c'mon, mommy. daddy hasn't been impressed with anything i've ever done. from winning my fifth grade spelling bee to the present.
i figured this was a good time to get away. just jump in my ride and go. i always did my best thinking when i was driving alone. i needed to think out clearly what i was going to do with this mantan - the
brother man, that's my father up there and i drove a long way to see him perform. please take this fifty, go buy you and the young lady some drinks in the club.
i want to speak with you.
it's me, peerless.
it's been a long time.
pleased to meet you.
is that so?
daddy, she's younger than me.
i thought you had promised mommy you stopped.
how did you end up here?
that's what i'm askin'.
daddy, it can't be just because of that. there had to be other factors.
another one of your conspiracies to hold ya career back?
the same old, same old. trying to get my stuff through.
nuthin' i can't handle.
where do you go from here?
i didn't mean that, in life.
let's get him over to the bed.
i love you too, daddy.
how long has my father been like this?
so he drank himself into a stuper?
so what's up with you?
don't tell him it's from me or he won't take it.
he never showed it.
my daddy. i'm not mad at him. not at all. junebug was the reason i got into this business in the first place.
and i thank him for that. however, it did me no good seeing him in that state. daddy was a broken man. he had been a strong man, with conviction, integrity, principles and look where it had gotten him. i had to ask myself did i want to end up where he was?
that was the last time i ever saw my father.
who's side are you on?
it was the day of reckoning. after a massive advertising and publicity campaign.
the public would finally get a chance to view mantan. i was feelin' a little bit like dr. frankenstein.
what would their reaction be? i hadn't the foggiest.
i was sunk, dead. my goose was cooked. the cat was in the bag and the bag was in the river.
why are you here?
i thought it was the other way around.
these are black folks we're talkin' about, not some lab mice in a cage.
yeah, show dem pearly whites.
me?
i'm not black. i'm a negro!!!
a small victory isn't that small when you've been use to losing.
what is this?
for what?
the jolly nigger bank.
thanks.
is that good or bad?
how so?
because race has always been a sensitive issue in this country. gary, i have no problem with people disagreeing with the show, it's when folks start trying to mess with my inherent right as an artist, that's when i get mad. no one, in any way, shape or form should be censored.
yes. and i say yes because who is to judge? who is to stand before us and say this is righteous and this is not? who? who can play god?
don't you people get it? we're in the 21st century. slavery was over four hundred years ago. all that stuff people talked in the old days, it's over. folks always crying, white man this, white man that. let's all grow up.
can i finish? thank you. i had a great aunt, we called her sister. she went to her grave not believing man had walked on the moon.
when i was a little kid, i would argue with her, "it's on tv." she would answer "i don't care what's on that idiot box. no man is on the moon." well, there are a lot of your negroes just like my aunt sister. face up to it. the world has changed and if you don't adapt, change with it, you will be left behind. this show is a parody. are you telling me that nobody can use some humor, have some laughs in their lives? is that what you're telling me?
when american people want something, they want it now, they want it big.
they wanted the hula hoop.
they wanted their yo-yo's.
who could ever forget those lovable pet rocks.
beanie babies.
now the latest, hottest, newest sensation across the nation was.
blackface!!!
it was the rage.
the mantan - the new millennium minstrel show at www.nigger.com was getting 500,000 hits a day.
so they can be on tv.
this is nothing. it will blow over by tomorrow.
tomorrow it will be all about cruelty to animals or some sex scandal. besides, there is no such thing as bad publicity.
rest your mind. it's a little somethin' something.
those were the last pair of tap shoes worn by bill "bojangles" robinson. in fact, he died with them on.
no joke. serious.
in time.
to my astonishment, not only did the people in tv land love us, but also the critics. _
mantan was being hailed as groundbreaking, barrier breaking, also earth shaking. i looked forward to my awards. just vindication for all my hard work, all my talent that had been previously overlooked.
alec baldwin, this is the very first time we've ever met, you don't know this, i'm your biggest fan and i want you to have my emmy. it's for you, out of the deep bowels of my heart - i don't deserve this. you take it.
if i did that i'd be assured to work forever. delacroix the grateful negro.
that routine would go over like gangbusters. i would be a dancing fool, hollywood's new favorite negro, move over danny, morgan, samuel l., move over whoopi.
i had it all planned. to the t.
pull ya self together.
what are you? a man or a mouse? are you a punk? punking out on me?
you getting scared because some people don't like what you are doing?
you've made it from the guttermost to the uppermost. don't you know you should never let them see you sweat. y'knowwhati'msayin'?
and now is definitely not the time to bitch up.
why'd you do that?
how long have you and hambone been hangin' out?
that crazy brother of yours doesn't think so.
oh, is he? you getting jiggy with mantan?
dunwitty and i feel you've been getting too close to him, getting his mind all messed up.
do you have to be so damn forthright?
light?
you can talk all that mumbo jumbo if you want to but your hands are much bloody. i know where i made my big mistake. i have a general rule, never get involved romantically with somebody crazier than you.
this is crazy.
the first and only time. a big mistake. i'm gonna have to ask you not to see mantan anymore.
otherwise. i trust you know the difference. you're an intelligent woman, finished at nyu.
and that's how you got me in the first place.
you shouldn't even be mad at me over sloan.
oh, is it? buddy boy, in this business if people don't produce, they get fired.
let me ask you a question, if i may. how do you think she got the job in the first place? i don't mean to burst your bubble, mantan the marvelous, but sloan is an opportunity.
do i have to spell it out for you? in fact, go ask sloan yourself.
hello, mommy, how are you?
you going to attack me too. the show is a hit. aren't you happy for me?
yes i have, very hard. has daddy called?
not at all?
if and when he calls, please don't forget to ask him if he's seen mantan.
soon.
when i thought or imagined that my favorite jolly nigger bank, an inanimate object, a piece of cold, cast iron, was moving by itself.
i knew i was getting paranoid. did i really see what i saw or was i buggin'?
delacroix. what?! i'll be right down.
mantan, we got a show to tape.
kook and the gang, it's manray. let's do the taping. you go back to your dressing room, get dressed and blacken up.
how you sound?
manray, i'm very sorry about ya boy cheeba and sloan. believe me, it gave me no joy pulling ya coattail about her, just lookin' out for a brother. i feel you, all this stuff happenin' at once but you can't let if affect your work. you gotta be professional.
no costume. no blackface.
and i should put my foot dead up in yo' ass.
the mau-mau's had come up with a brilliant, sadistic plan to broadcast mantan's execution live over the internet.
the mau-mau's sent anonymous e-mail proclamations to the websites of cnn, abc, msnbc and cbs. it was an invite to witness the dance of death, 9 pm, prime time, tomorrow night on a site to be designated at a later date.
it's no joke getting grilled by the fbi for five houts.
i don't know anything.
somehow, someway, somebody had tipped the sharks off. it was a feeding frenzy.
the x-force was brought onto the case. when something involves the internet, these are the people ibm, xerox, the cia, fbi, even the us government go to.
it was a race against time. the dance of death.
there oughta be a law.
swat teams all up and down the east coast busted in on known dissidents looking for manray. all the tips called in, info gathered through surveillance proved for naught.
thank you for your help.
it was ten o'clock and the dance of death was about to commence.
since a lot of people still didn't have computers, the networks sought a court order to carry it live, taking the feed off the internet. it was granted. a life snuff broadcast right into your living room.
i had to give it to the mau-mau', they definitely had a sense of irony. they chose www.nigger.com as the website to pirate.
don't dance. don't do it.
leave me alone. get away from me. you spearchucker. you black sambo. you nigger pickaninny. fat mammie.
i didn't think this was in your studies at nyu.
i'm sorry. i didn't know anyone would get hurt. i'm sorry, please give me that gun before you hurt yourself. give me the gun.
give me the gun.
go, get out of here. go home.
as i bled to death, as my very precious life oozed out of me all i could think of was that i never made my father proud. my mother didn't count.
everything i did, no matter how great or small, was always extraordinary to her. with daddy it was a different ball game. he never saw me. pierre delacroix.
now it was time to buy the farm, for me to meet my maker. goodbye cousins, and please tune in next week for the best of mantan - the new millennium minstrel show.
for the love of joseph and mary, what have i done? my god, what have i done?!