no. never. not even that. not one. that man has, perhaps, not yet been born. many worthy of attention; but valuing is something more. i could value only someone whom i loved. your word "empty" makes me laugh. is it fortunate, or unfortunate? if it is fortunate, i congratulate myself. if it is unfortunate, i do not care, for i am not aware of it. but if, when i love, i am unhappy, i will know that my empty heart was my good fortune. it is only too possible. love requires a mutual harmony which is difficult, and it is even more difficult to make it last. a man may need to do that, and find it amusing; but a girl is bound by other laws. how so? you want my heart? to make me wretched in two weeks. the amusing thing is that you deceive me without knowing, if it is true that you love me. but you deceive me nonetheless if i believe you, for it will not be in your power to love me when you love me no longer. be so good as to tell me with whom you think you are? and if she does not choose to show you some kindness? you will do as you please. it seems to me that such a matter can hardly be discussed until after people know each other. do you not agree? poor man. and, for that reason, you want to begin where people end? always, my dear one, never any further. love is a child to be pacified with trifles. a full diet can only kill it. our abstinence makes our love immortal. if i loved you a quarter of an hour ago, now i should love you even more. but i should love you less if you exhausted my joy by satisfying all my desires. my husband has convinced me of the contrary. shall i tell you something -- i believed what was called love came after the union -- and i was surprised when my husband, making me a woman, made me know it only by pain, unaccompanied by any pleasure. i saw that my imaginings had stood me in better stead. and so we became only friends, seldom sleeping together and arousing no curiosity in each other, yet on good terms for a while, as whenever he wanted me, i was at his service, but since the offering was not seasoned with love, he found it tasteless, and seldom demanded it. without you, my dearest, i might have died without ever knowing love. inexpressible love! god of nature! bitterness than which nothing is sweeter, sweetness than which nothing is more bitter. divine monster which can only be defined by paradoxes. as soon as i saw you loved me, i was pleased, and i gave you every opportunity to fall more in love with me, being certain that, for my part, i would never love you. but after our first kiss, i found that i had no power over myself. i did not know that one kiss could matter so much. my lord brookside, come and embrace your papa! lord brookside, you have offended your father. from the manner in which i love this child, my lord, you ought to know how i would have loved his elder brother, had he proved worthy of any mother's affection. promise me, patrick, that you will not ride the horse except in the company of your father. oh, my little angel, you have done nothing for which you need pardon. roderick, you know well enough that i have never loved but you! was i ever so wretched that a kind word from you did not make me happy? ever so angry, but the least offer of good-will on your part did not bring me to your side? did i not give a sufficient proof of my affection for you in bestowing one of the finest fortunes of england upon you? have i repined or rebuked you for the way you have wasted it? no, i loved you too much and too fondly; i have always loved you. from the first moment i saw you, i saw your bad qualities, and trembled at your violence; but i could not help loving you. i married you, though i knew i was sealing my own fate in doing so, and in spite of reason and duty. what sacrifice do you want from me? i am ready to make any, so you will but love me, or, if not, that at least, you will gently us me. why go, roderick? i am happy here, as long as you are kind to me, as you now are. we can't appear in london as we ought; the little money you will get will be spent, like all the rest has been. let us stay here and be content. roderick -- don't go in. i am sure there is danger. there's time yet, let us go back -- anywhere! old fool! say lady cosgrove is here! oh fool as i am, i have outwitted the most crafty and treacherous monster under the sun. yes, i was a fool when i married you, and gave up other and nobler hearts for your sake -- yes, i was a fool when i forgot my name and lineage to unite myself with a base-born adventurer -- a fool to bear, without repining, the most monstrous tyranny that ever woman suffered; to allow my property to be squandered; to see women as base and low-born as yourself.