where the hell are those krauts?
shit.
bingo.
"and so they buried hector, breaker of horses."
kill me adolf.
hey, siegfreid and roy. what are you waiting for? kill me.
come on you pussies. let's get this over with.
genuine third reich issue, no less. nice work.
my mother and i don't have that kind of relationship.
what don't you understand?
you got to be kidding me.
now that's against the rules.
you've never killed anyone before, have you?
yeah. my elaborate death scene wasn't going anywhere anyway.
that's okay. they'll get me eventually. if you can't get killed in a war, when can you?
kelly. kelly ernswiler.
bart?
listen you wienerschnitzel. you should talk. you slapped me. i'm not your bitch.
well it didn't work, now did it?
and what was that ridiculous shit about making me write to my mother?
right.
yup. just got her. three summers packing out at shop rite.
my bad. thanks though.
see you.
well, come on.
i couldn't resist.
that's what you get for invading wisconsin.
that's crazy.
shaker heights.
penn place.
it's not technically in shaker heights - but i go to shaker heights high.
sorry to hear that.
of course. i would have gone to langely myself only my polo pony had the fits.
i would, but then i might soil my croquet whites. you understand.
sleep tight hot lips.
let me guess. happy meals for the wavy gravy wellness center?
as usual, your cheerful optimism makes me ill.
a rough charge. you know.
you know why we never have anything to eat in this house?
because your husband takes food from his own family to feed every loser druggie in cleveland.
no. some people have to work later. will you drop something off at the dry cleaners for me tomorrow?
it's the only thing i ever ask you for --
but it's important to me.
why do i bother?
how about the son of a heroin addict trying to get ready for work?
well, a port-a-john fell over on a couple of guys.
war is hell.
you're never more alive then when facing simulated death.
you are william j. stone of the 1st airborne, pinned down in noville. the germans have the high ground and they're shelling your position heavily. you're holed up in a stone barn. sustaining heavy casualties. running low on ammo. the cries of wounded men fill the air like the cries of hungry babies.
your commanding officer gets hit in the face, dies. at 1 p.m. you lose radio contact with headquarters. if you withdraw, the germans will flank the entire allied forces arrayed along bastogne and break the front. what do you do? what do you do?
battle of bulge, the southern shoulder, december '44.
hey. want a snack? we got a whole shipment in of busted oreo's.
do you know we stock more flavors of cat food than we do baby food?
sixteen flavors of baby food including the toddler meals-in-ajar, thirty- one flavors of cat food.
next time you should tell that woman to buy her kid some cat food.
charge her double for everything.
i honestly didn't know it was you. i thought it was a free preview of the spice channel.
no.
come on. isn't this analysis a tad simplistic? i mean, maybe for a second grade history class, sure - but to insist on still characterizing the civil war as some moral struggle? the soldiers were drafted - the only ones who had to fight were the ones who couldn't afford to pay their way out. why don't you talk about the draft riots? where are your slides for that?
i know. i mean, who ever heard of a classroom dialog? not socrates.
i don't need to. everyone else makes them for me.
i was wondering what the tissues were for.
advertisers use status and sex to appeal to my demographic.
give me a break.
what are you going to do, make out with me?
you just used fuck as a verb, noun, and adjective. impressive.
rim job.
you work here?
looking for a backpack.
sure, i guess.
very impressive.
what's this?
wow. your dad should meet my history teacher. he sent me to the principal's office today for questioning his g- rated interpretation of the civil war.
i would, but now the principal's making me give a speech on the civil war at an assembly.
she thinks she's doing me a favor.
depends on who you ask. everyone's got an opinion.
yeah right.
i'd feel weird taking one out of the tomb of tutenkamen anyway.
i lost it.
someone took it.
i didn't let him. i told off some idiot --
i'm telling you, it's not me, it's the world.
who's miner?
oh yeah? flea market, land of bargains.
if you stay in it long enough, maybe you'll get your fudgepacker badge.
too bad my mom won't let me date yet.
you're right. i should give him a break.
get abe to do it.
what a surprise.
where have i heard that before?
let me think - maybe when i finally forget every single word of the little mermaid soundtrack i'd listen to in the car waiting for him to score. no, probably when i don't prepare myself before i go into the bathroom, expecting to find him passed out on the floor.
actually, you know what? i know i'll be able to put it all behind me when i go away to college. only, i can't go because someone spent my college fund on mexican black tar. so looks like i'll have to try to forget at shop rite, where i'll be working for the rest of my life.
what do you need?
forget it.
they're having a sale on glitter.
tennis injury.
well, you see.  that's a difficult question.
i don't really feel comfortable calling anything done since the renaissance "painting." we might have a more experimental interaction with the picture plane, but our skills have suffered from it.
you're working with acrylic. why? oil's much - richer.
of course not.
it's just - isn't acrylic a bit - jejune?
older than my years.
well, you know, my mother's kind of an artist, so -
that explains nothing. doesn't anyone believe in innate knowledge anymore? michelangelo was fifteen when he painted the infanta.
exactly. one world, one people. just like jesse jackson envisioned.
what the hell did you just say?
buying and selling us service medals is illegal.
is that what they teach you at langely?
and i'm not even going to ask about the flask.
i've never been accused of that before.
goldwater fan. i think that's some kind of insult.
i'm not.
you don't?
easy for you to say. you got a royal flush.
what about tabby?
i didn't think people actually went to yale.
what do you mean?
oh. is that what one of those sounds like? somehow, i always imagined they would be funnier.
sarah lawrence? isn't that for lesbians?
remember the backpack incident?
the one with mad cow-diseased hamburger meat for brains? that would be the one.
i'm not going to lower myself to his level.
alternatives?
yes.
we don't plan first?
humiliation. rage. despair.
sure. i mean, i'll help.
gold. the color of the sun.
as the viewer, i get to decide what it is, i'm afraid. and it doesn't look a thing like it.
well make sure you put it away when you're done with it.
it must be nice to have a place like this to get away to.
what about farmer?
the boyfriend.
is he an artist, too?
she was, well - is i guess.
she used to be. but then my dad - wasn't working anymore so she turned it into a business. she has a family of chinese immigrants in the garage making them for her.
more like andy warhol's tool shed. it was nice before, though. my playpen used to be in her studio.
he's a vh-1 documentary without the music.
"and then, things took a turn for the worse."
i already changed the channel.
if only it were fun. war's deadly serious, ma'am.
i'm worried about you playing with diffusion unsupervised.
yes. i might have to come by and show you the proper safety procedures. some time in the presence of an art prodigy would do you good.
ouch.
what? no, no.
we just have a few things in common.
i can't tell you. it's my feminine side.
dad.
dad?
sorry.
a funny thing just happened. a little trip down memory lane. i thought you were on our couch, dead.
well that's one of your more brilliant ideas. have you thought about the fact that it might be dangerous? that he might steal something, or go into cardiac arrest? drink all our cooking wine? which he seems to have done.
you're right. besides, having him here makes it feel like home.
big whoop. i've been straight the whole time.
no. that's the one thing i get to decide.
i have the target in sight.
i think he's leaving.
is this going to work?
save it for the press conference.
we're the good guys. if you scream, the bad guys are going to come and burn down your house. okay? so stay here and be quiet.
i was just inspecting your lawn.
have you thought about astroturf? it takes a lot less water to keep green. i mean, no water, technically.
oh. i see. okay then.
oh, shit.
oh, shit.
did you get it done?
i don't think we can use any of this.
all right, then.
what? what?
dangerous.
let's draw up the plans.
oh jesus, i'm so sorry -
i'm working on it.
i feel kind of bad for her. she's a nice girl.
stop it.
how does that look?
you don't need to tell me. it's my ass on the line.
you'll get the de-brief.
you couldn't do any better than that?
eine maus findet den kase.
yup. there it was. the whole school saw it. wasn't too impressive either.
to the 193rd.
good. real good.
don't mind if i do.
you know what this is?
eighteen volts of pure freedom.
oh, it is. unless you know how to handle it.
you ever seen the freshly waxed floor in the produce section glistening under full florescence? it's breathtaking.
hold on tight.
close call.
oh, that's all right. actually, i'm here to see tabby. just to do a little painting with her.
thanks.
hey. i warned you i'd come.
maybe i should go --
i brought my own.
does it mess up your concentration? me being here?
oh. that's good.
why would i?
right. irony. i like that.
webber miner.
kelly ernswiler. sorry. i -
that would be stock boy at the shop rite. but, as president don kaminsky says, every employee is part owner. so you could say i'm a captain-of- industry in training. kind of capitalist larva.
only if you see the most magical part. do you see?
one day i'll be a beautiful butterfly. first i'll have to be a pupa though. i figure i won't be going out much then. pupa: the awkward adolescence of the insect world.
is he always like that?
overbearing.
oh, he will - later. when he's alone. whether he wants to or not.
not that though. how he wanted you to stop.
just because some one wants to be with you doesn't mean they're good for you.
no one should ever ask you to stop. if you stop, you might not be able to start again. or you might start again, only things will be different.
it's not sweet, actually. it's just the truth.
when's the wedding?
why? is something wrong?
really, there are so many layers of - imagistic symbolism - that i really don't feel comfortable summing it up, but, well - it's a recurring dream image. a mermaid riding a rocket ship.
what do you mean, "how?" sidesaddle. she's riding it sidesaddle. she's got a fish tail, for chrissake. i haven't decided yet if she's got scuba gear on or not.
does that matter?
what if they don't know what they really think?
sounds boring.
hey. i'm trying to create here. stop distracting me.
mom's got you working late?
wow. you're really good. why do you make those stupid animals for mom?
i'm making a lot of art these days. i guess that means a lot of lessons.
oh, that's all?
i can't do this. i have to go.
no, i haven't.
after all, mrs. bowland, sometimes when you bite the bullet, it explodes in your mouth.
yeah, but they never take a bite out of their pants.
basically. i ask why all the furniture is missing and my dad reminisces about dropping acid and watching neil armstrong walk on the moon.
my mother's kind of an artist, so -
i noticed your magnolias. very fine specimens.
cool.
we're going to be on the history channel?
oh, come on.
what do you mean? of course i will.
i'm not "fast and loose." i play the emotional truth. i make it real.
what does that have to do with it?
what is this about?
my own agenda? what other reason is there to do anything?
are you saying i don't?
why do you steal from yours?
i don't want to talk about it. as a matter of fact, do me a favor and pretend you never heard anything about it.
what, sarah?
aw sarah, that's really great, i mean. it's just that - i'm busy.
right.
what are you doing here?
yup.
living, dying, camaraderie, bravery - the big stuff. things we don't have anymore.
well, no -
no, sir.
you don't really believe that stuff about berlin? and hitler's compound?
of course it matters. doesn't the truth matter?
i want a drink. let me borrow a couple bucks.
i was trying to be nice. he's your friend.
mountain dew -
-- oh shit.
bart. meet my mom.
bart took me to meet his friend charlie at the old soldiers' home.
you don't know him.
we can't.
there you go. now you know everything.
forget it.
are you kidding?
remember that stupid speech?
i'm supposed to give it next week.
you think he'd go for that?
are you serious?
i don't think that would work for me. considering -- my background.
i'm not properly socialized. i wouldn't fit in.
no, it's not.
so much she ratted me out to you.
oh.
i don't know what you're talking about. weddings? i love weddings. i always get drunk and make out with someone's cousin.
fletcher, eh?
why did you tell --
what? oh, i'm sorry.
i'm sorry.
honestly? i didn't think you two were right for each other.
like this painting. stare at it too long and you can't see it anymore. but if someone else sees it for the first time, they can tell exactly what it is.
he could never understand you.
i never said you were complicated.
he just wasn't the right one.
i'm really sorry. i really am.
don't cry.
of course.
yeah. i think you're amazing.
damn it. damn it.
what?
well, 82nd today. it's not my usual division. technically, my patches indicate -
oh?
right. is bart bowland here yet?
ok. thanks.
kelly ernswiler, private first class.
that mg? she's mine.
sure. i don't think that would be a problem.
have you seen bart bowland? has he checked in?
hot lips, old girl, you're going to be famous.
password.
hey! where the hell have you been?
they put you over here with me? that's great. i think we'll get some close- ups. they want me to drive old lippy. isn't that awesome?
what the hell's your problem?
what?
what are you talking about?
are you out of your mind?
no. you'd rather have me be miserable like you are.
stop talking out your dad's mouth and use your own for once.
i don't want to talk about it.
which one of his loser friends ended up there?
oh this is just perfect.
because it seems to fit.
why, do you want to say it again?
i have to go to work.
no.
no.
listen, i'm busy.
i doubt it.
no, sarah, actually, i'm not asking. i never ask you anything but you just talk anyway. have you ever noticed that?
hey, i hoped you were up -
i just came to get this.
i guess the wedding's back on.
don't be.
my dad's got cancer.
i guess we all get what we deserve.
stupid bitch.
i'm sorry.
i'm busy.
i don't know what you're talking about.
oh that. i heard about it.
i haven't been following the story.
it is over.
just let me go home.
this isn't a good time for me. let's re-schedule.
first you should probably get me to write home to my mother.
nothing.
ow.
oh.
i don't want to.
now's not a good time, ma.
you can't make me.
don't you get it? it was never about me.
enough.
that's between you and him.
i was invited.
it's not your wedding.
why?
she looks beautiful. tell her - give her my congratulations.
grandma ling. can you fix this?
did you come here to work on your own stuff? don't waste your time on this.
you're trying to tell me something, aren't you?
hey dad. how you feeling?
they gave me some stitches downstairs. three.
a couple times, actually.
a few.
it'd be pretty depressing, wouldn't it?
plus that, you'd have to have protesters and stuff.
i could make it work.
you were expecting some one else?
he looks good.
hey. you going away already?
is that good?
he's probably right.
well, go big green.
have fun. and get laid, will ya?
hey.
how come you don't work here anymore? the electro-shopper's getting rusty.
fancy.
no, it's great.
hey -
i don't know. probably when i figure out something better to do.
yeah i can. i mean, i probably won't, but i could.
um.
remember that presentation i told you never to ask me about again?
lee arrayed his defenses over here. only this time, grant was ready for him.
i still don't understand how you did that.
hot damn.