hello, i'm here about the ad.
when you say, i can be somebody else, what do you mean exactly?
oh, this is just the medical breakthrough i've been waiting for. are their any side effects? please say no! please say no!
long term psychic or physiological repercussions?
can i be anyone i want?
well that's perfect. my second choice. ah, this is wonderful. too good to be true! you see, i'm a sad man. sad and fat and alone. oh, i've tried all the diets, my friends. lived for a year on nothing but imitation mayonnaise. did it work? you be the judge. but malkovich! king of new york! man about town! most eligible bachelor! bon vivant! the schopenhauer of the 20th century! thin man extraordinaire!
yes. yes. a thousand times, yes!
oh, thank you! thank you! thousand times, thank you!
oh, i will, and i have many, many friends and associates, my friend. all, by the way, in overeaters anonymous. all of them fat and alone like me, all of them dream of being someone else, all of them with john malkovich as their second choice!