ladies and gentlemen, you may think you've seen the unusual. you may think you've seen the bizarre. but i've travelled to the five corners of the world, and let me tell you, i've never seen anything like this.
when i found this man, he was picking oranges in florida. his fellow workers called him el penumbra -- the shadow -- because when you were working beside him, he blocked out the daylight. he could take a whole tree in his hands and shake off the fruit. i had to pay his crew boss $10,000 just so i could take him with me.
not to alarm you, ma'am. but if this man wanted to, he could crush your head between his toes. but he won't. he's not going to hurt her, folks, because he's our own gentle giant. ladies and gentlemen, i give you colossus!
what's his name? does he talk? it's not important.
tell me karl, have you ever heard of the term "involuntary servitude?"
"unconscionable contract?"
great, great. that's fantastic.
hey kid! your friend just made himself a star.
what's the matter with you, kid? i haven't seen a customer so depressed since the elephant sat on that farmer's wife. get it? "depressed?"
see! the big guy likes it.
tough break. most men have to get married before they lose their wives.
jesus, kid. let me guess. real pretty, blonde hair, blue hat?
i know her uncle. friends of the family.
kid. don't waste your time. she's out of your league.
sure i do. you were hot shit back in hickville, but here in the real world, you got squat. you don't have a plan. you don't have a job. you don't have anything but the clothes on your back.
kid, you were a big fish in a small pond. this here is the ocean, and you're drowning. take my advice and go back to puddleville. you'll be happy there.
sorry, kid. i don't do charity.
every month you work for me, i'll tell you one thing about her. that's my final offer.
this girl, the love of your life. her favorite flower is daffodils.
didn't kill anything, did i?
that would explain the indigestion.
i was wrong about you kid. you may not have much, but what you got, you got a lot of. you could get any girl.
her name is sandra templeton. she's going to auburn. the semester's almost over, so you better hurry.
good luck, kid.