hello.
hello, hello. hello.
i don't believe in perfect love. you know, love that comes out of the sky like a thunderbolt and uh.  this is ridiculous.
no. no no no. nope.
running. reading. going out. staying in. the countryside. films, if they're good.
thoughtful. outgoing. ambitious. well-read. reasonably popular. balanced. trusting. quite attractive. outgoing.
someone intelligent, of course. kind. pretty i suppose. but its not critical.
someone with a sense of humour. someone you can communicate with on the same level. someone you can really talk to. i think communication is key.
i think that by the time most people turn thirty they know where they're going.
and where they've been. i suppose they have some baggage stroke history.
we all have someone in our past who uh.  one skeleton, if you like. we've all got at least one person, as it were, under the patio. not literally of course. i suppose i only say this because i always thought people who did this sort of thing were.  i had an image that they were losers. not losers. a bit sad. but i think this is the modern world. and i think really it's quite a brave move. quite a brave, reasonable thing to do.
sorry can we start again?
nadia?
i'm john.
welcome. well. look i didn't have a speech but.
is that everything?
right. okay. good.
we can talk in the car.
it's about forty miles from here. i don't know if you've looked at a map, it's close to london but it's a city in itself. a roman city. it's a nice house. i'm having a problem with ants. i uh.  it's the warmer weather. i can't seem to find the nest. sorry, do you understand "ants"?
i just can't find a nest. the root of the problem. i've looked everywhere. what's the russian for ant? sorry that's a stupid.  sorry. this is strange isn't it.
i'm pretty nervous. are you?
i mean.  "ants." "i've got a problem with ants."
i had this.
as a joke but uh.
so. is it different to how you imagined it?
i bet. what about me? am i how you imagined?
and how was the flight. sorry, am i speaking too fast for you?
do uh.  sorry. can you follow me? do you understand what i'm saying?
good. or should i speak slower?
do you follow or should i speak slower?
uh.  are you a giraffe?
oh jesus.
oh jesus.
lounge.
kitchen.
bathroom.
bedroom.
the uh.  the other bedroom.
i'll get an ashtray.
this is john buckingham from st albans. i need to speak to you urgently. there's a critical problem. it's.  call me back as soon as possible. it's critical.
i don't know what to say. your letters were in english. good english. you said you'd studied english.
i can't take this.
i can't take it. i'm not really a ring guy.
okay. no big deal. thank you. yes thanks. thank you.
if anyone gets this message please call as soon as possible. it's an emergency.
good night.
you should go now. we'll talk in the morning.
nadia. this isn't going to work. i'm sorry. it's been a terrible mistake. you must go.
i'm booking a flight for tomorrow. i'm sorry.
uh. yeah. pretty good.
uh. no.
thank you -- i think that's very fair.
it feels good. weird.
are you o.k.?
sorry?
bath day?
i don't understand.
today?
syevodnya?
happy birthday. happy birthday.
yes. party. party syevodnya.
it might just be a twenty-four hour bug.
happy birthday to you. happy birthday to you. happy birthday dear nadia.
hang on hang on, sorry, but like, who are you?
what are you doing here?
i'm asking what you're here for.
yes i know.
what did he say?
i need to know who you are first please.
yes. i know.
and.
hold on.
so hang on. you're both nadia's cousins?
right.
right.
no.
so?
what was that?
yes it's okay. thank you for the food.
so how long will you be in england?
you must have a visa or something.
no, no.
hello.
uh. do you like england?
uh.
i can't think of anything. hang on.
what?
when?
binoculars.
what was that?
tell me.
tell me what he said.
no. it's not that.
i suppose it's.  i mean define your terms.
ch.
right.
uh.  yes.
fine. i thought you were leaving today.
hey.
what's wrong?
of course. they go. yes. yes.
you can stay tonight.
good night.
what are you doing?
what's he doing? what the fuck are you doing? leave her alone.
tell him to stop and let her go, and we'll talk.
put the fucking kettle down.
put the fucking kettle down. tell, yuri, tell him put it down or i'm going to make him.
what? what does he want?
what did he say? tell me!
what does he want. the russian shithead. what do you want ?
tell him to put the kettle down and i'll give him money.
i'll give him money. tell him to put the.
i'll fuckin' give it to him! we'll go down there.
i've got eight hundred pounds. oh jesus.
oh jesus.
oh jesus. of course i can't.
just leave her alone.
leave her alone.
hello.
right.
yes. i do.
i'll give you a tune later.
this is uh.  this is the uh.
i'll give you a tune later.
this is where we're doing trust and uh.  trust and letting go.
yes.
yes.
excuse me.
i'll give you a tune later.
you can't smoke in here.
you can't smoke in here!
oh, i don't know. in my job as deputy assistant of new business at the bank would have to listen to the problems of a great many individuals. this took a lot of understanding and sympathy, to try to work out solutions to their problems. but, you see, i'm not in that line of work anymore. nowadays i'm a bank robber.
i think that about covers it. i think i have grasped the part about you being dumped though. that's got to hurt, i imagine. that's got to smart a bit. i mean strictly in my observer's capacity it seemed you two were getting on pretty fucking famously.
unless. unless this is part of the routine. you get tied up, stick around, distract me, they both bust in and steal my cup of coffee.
i don't want to know.
that's a relief. it's nice to know i'm a regular guy.
i'm going to drink my coffee. then, we're going to the police station. where there will be lawyers, loss of job, house, humiliation, gutter press, and probably prison.
even so i always felt the decision to burst in and rob it very much remained with me.
well as it turns out i did.
yes please.
splendid. thank you.
you must think.  i'm the biggest pillock.  in the world.
in the world.
i do. i want to very badly.
in every sense. if at all possible.
well, nadia, it it's all the same to you, i'd like to give it a bash.
what?
what? no you're not.
no you're not. how.  nice one. how dumb do you think i am ?
you're pregnant.
no.
get in the car.
have you got your passport?
shut up. have you got your passport?
we've got to get off this motor-way.
give me some money.
what?
give me your sunglasses.
so, uh, alexei, which i know isn't his name.
fine.
fine. absolutely. must be disappointing though. must come as a hell of a shock.
so uh.
oh jesus.
of course. of course. of course he does. of course. thank you. thanks.
it's his baby i take it.
not the kids type then is he? not that broody. you must be pretty miffed.
excuse me?
yeah. i tend to tie up and abandon women i really want to see again too.
fuck off.
fuck off. you started it.
i don't want to talk about it.
shut up. i'm not listening.
no.
so. what's it like having to fuck men you hate?
okay. let's.  okay. okay. you have had sex with people you don't like haven't you? for money. to make money.
and. it's wrong.
and that would be morals. that would be one's own moral sense of decency.
so. what then? you just detach sex from everything.
listen. i didn't go rooting around in your private stuff.
so what? do you just switch off in your head or do you imagine you're with him, or what?
sometimes which?
some.  what does that mean?
i don't like sex. i don't think i'll be having sex ever again.
well, it's just that the thought trying to charm up an erection in front of a woman, or alone for that matter, makes me want to die.
i think it's my safest bet, don't you?
what?
i got what i paid for.
it wasn't what i wanted.
you don't understand me.
get out.
get out
get out.
jesus. you weren't even on the plane.
you don't have to say anything
please, there's no.  oh.
then okay. so how old were you when you met him?
yeah. he's a smashing bloke.
thank christ for that.
i'm pretty naive? look at you. you have to do all this, and what have you got to show for it? nothing.
well what have you got?
do you know if it's a boy or a girl?
have you had any before?
are you scared?
what?
it's none of your business. she didn't have small eyes.
she's dead.
i don't know why i said that. she's not dead at all.
i don't know why i said it. i'm sorry.
laugh it up.
you should stop smoking. you're pregnant. you smoke like a fucking lab dog.
i've got news for you. it's not working.
nobody's that unhappy.
i don't want anyone to die.
except for small eyes.
i don't know.
what's your name?
it's alright.
no. i think i better just go.
whatever.
yeah. no thanks.
because it was a lie.
oh jesus.
are you okay?
okay. goodbye.
what will you do now?
okay. promise?
you can probably buy them on the flight.
goodbye.
whatever.
please.
it's not mine either.
yeah, you see when i said i didn't speak russian i wasn't actually just making it up.
why?
no. what? no. i know.
it's a long way to go for a date.
what does it mean?
right.
is the flight full?
please check. is it full? please could you check.
thanks.
cash.
kam. kapsi. schta.
sophia. hello sophia. mine's still john.