and you must be greenly. smecker always said you were the funny one.
special.
you see there's a "special" before my "agent." if we are going to address each other formally, i'd prefer if you popped it in there. makes me feel, i don't know. special. of course, i'd hoped we could be a little more personable. in fact, i'd like you to call me eunice.
whoa, whoa, "fuck?" this isn't a "fuck" situation, is it? i can see a "god damn" or two but why skip all the way to "fuck" right off the bat? let's start slow and work our way up to it.
their interest, detective, is capturing the men responsible for the murders of 22 of boston's finest criminals. y'see public perception is that these boys stepped in, did our jobs for us and then disappeared into thin air as we fecklessly searched for them. the fbi tends to take exception to such things. they coulda sent anyone. they sent me. why do you think that is?
it is because i am so fucking smart that i make smart people feel like retards. now, we seem to be getting off on the wrong foot here. i'd appreciate a bit of cooperation. let's chalk it up to paying respect to the memory of a dearly departed mutual friend. a man who taught me everything i know.
lovely. now what's with the circus?
and it looks like that's just the way somebody wanted it. what say we scrape the shit off this cow's ass, fellas? detective greenly? escort a lady onto the crime scene?
never touch the stuff.
it wasn't them. but i'm sure you boys already knew that.
let's go with the venue first. our perpetrators are devout. they would never commit such an act on sacred ground. and as for the victim?
man, i hate it when people say that. "with all due respect." because it is inevitably followed by a disrespectful remark. i'll give you an example. with all due respect, detective, this matter falls under whatever jurisdiction i fuckin' say it does.
shoo-ter. singular. and i can tell you that he is left handed and how shall i put this delicately? he's a short bastard.
i'll show you what i'm talking about.
detective greenly, you're the victim.
very well, david.
the saints' signature stance. copley plaza hotel four years ago. two men of identical height put yuri petrova on his knees and each dropped iron to the back of his head.
eyes front, david. the position of the victim and the angles produced by the killers' stance created a unique scenario. the bullets criss crossed in the skull and exited the eye sockets. here, this did not occur. the rounds moved on a straight trajectory through the back of the victim's head and out the front. which happens when.
one guy.
now, the victim falls forward. if you please, david.
the killer approached the body from the left side.  . and flipped him to the right.
yep, southpaw.
the saints were later determined to be five foot eleven inches tall. it's just dumb luck that the russian and mckinney are the exact same height.
the rounds exited petrova's eye balls. here they came out the lower cheek.
three, four inches below the eyes.
the killer posed as a late night confessor. once the victim entered the booth the killer had him isolated. no escape. short stuff exits his confessional and kicks in the door of the priest's chamber.
gave him a couple inches. we're looking at about five foot five, gentlemen.
wicked.
and that's all she wrote. everything points in the same direction.
more than just a theory, chief.
and word's been put to all his lieutenants that the saints are to be taken out, on sight.
walk with me, chief. let's talk.
i understand you got a job to do, chief. but if yakavetta even sniffs that we're onto him, he puts a bullet in napoleon's head, plants him at the bottom of the ocean and walks. this pint sized killer is the only thing that puts yakavetta right in the middle of this. it is imperative that we find this man.
absolute horse pucky, chief. unfortunately, authority's developed a problem with me.
well, y'see, i am currently in possession of a vagina.
so you spoke to kuntsler. anything else.
message delivered, chief.
it's them.
a wise man once told me. where a man's actions are firmly bound to an unshakable faith one's worst nightmares become sudden, terrifying reality.
y'can almost smell the brimstone, can'tcha?
oh, this was a plan that fell to pieces. a lot here doesn't make sense which is why it makes perfect sense. i believe things in our fair little city just got downright biblical.
yeah, i heard of this rodeo clown. duffy approaches, hands eunice a tiny bullet in a baggy.
a twenty two? you gotta be kidding me. that's like bringing a knife to a gunfight.
well, i'm having a hard time believing that one of the three most lethal individuals on the planet just switched over to bird shot.
no, sir. it's them. but we just might have ourselves a change in the line up, here.
hell, we've just been called up to the big show. we are tracking multiple perpetrators, gentlemen. the plan? we keep our ear to the ground and try to figure out where yakavetta's hiding. napoleon. we find him and flip him. and as for the saints. i'm gonna have me a face to face with these boys one way or the other.
what did you just call me?
why, i'm a lady, george. that fact alone demands a certain amount of.  . cordiality.
well, how courteous of you to apologize. courtesy is so important. don't you agree?
good. now sit your fat ass down.
where is. concezio yakavetta?
yeah. there's a lot of stuff you don't know, hoss. for instance, why aren't you safely tucked away in some ivory tower with all the other big wigs, sucking on cannoli and shrimp cocktail? why are you the one he left on the streets, george?
someone's gotta chum the waters.
good. then you can just listen. the jig is up. we know concezio had that priest killed.
oh, surprise, surprise. another thing you don't know, i reckon. but why would he tell you? you and your guys on the streets, you're his bait. y'all just got thrown into a meat grinder.
gorgeous george, huh? expendable george is more like it.
by the by, you got a pretty nice ass for a fat man.
what's this?
that's horse shit. everyone gets printed nowadays. they're inking up snotgobblers in kindergarten, now.
mckinney wore his watch on his left hand.
where was this found exactly?!
dolly, get on the phone! find out which wrist he wore his rosary on and if he was wearing it that night! duffy, run that partial through dmv! david put it through interpol! just get an i.d.! now! come on! vamoose!
you took your glove off, didn'tcha cowboy. now, why would you go and do a damn fool thang like that?
how do, david?
lovely. anything else?
i think i'll drop in on their supper, see if i can shake them up a little.
no thank you, mike tyson. bye now.
easy fellas. i'm alone.
my name is eunice bloom. and i'm your new guardian angel. a torch was passed to me by a mutual friend, gone but not forgotten.
and you have mine.
very well. connor, murphy.
that, i suspect, was the shooter you boys have been looking for.
let's speed this up before your new sidekick's got to dig any deeper into his impressive vocabulary.
i am an fbi agent who is controlling this investigation from within, in order to ensure that you gentlemen never see the inside of a prison cell. i am conspiring to do this with three like minded individuals who have aided you in the past. though i have yet to inform them of my agenda because, well, girl's gotta have her fun.
the very same.
two of them are scared. one's just horny.
bet'cha can but let's save it for group. right now, we have a big problem.
this. simply won't do. we made a deal. the big fish step in if your body count gets too high and.  . you have been very naughty boys.
o'kay. here's how it all went down.
a secret gathering of the brugliones. the topic of discussion? weak leadership and betrayal.
the enemy of my enemy is my friend. so, even with all their old vendettas.
and there it is. guess what comes next.
red rover. red rover.
ah. easier uttered than accomplished. the north end and the south end may as well be the hetfields and the mccoys. these fellas. they just don't get on.
oh, the cliche. a mexican stand off in a mexican restaurant.
they cut each other to pieces. and nobody walked away. who knows who fired first. could have been any one of them. but somebody let it loose. and duck, duck, duck.
goose.
yakavetta's lost control of the streets.
they're fighting over his throne. this was not the work of the saints.
are you ready for your fifteen minutes, sweetheart?
someone maneuvered it through the system using false information during the highest alert in u.s. history.
you're darn tootin' he don't.
something stanks like manure.
we got someplace to be! let's go!
it's time to revisit the scene of the crime.
37 bodies later and we're finally back where it all began. y'ever heard of the southern expression, "we have an elephant in the living room?"
hope you fellas brought some peanuts.
my daddy was an old six gun shooter. a real cowboy.
don't mention it. now, we have a little business to go over before you celebrate in earnest.
that's the guy. he's a sicilian immigrant, name of ottilio panza.
yes. and well put. he'll be front page news in the morning but we have to assume yakavetta already knows we've id'd his guy. we can't give him time to 'plan b' us.
should be. where's it gonna happen?
well, you boys have fun. connor, murphy? escort a lady to the door?
school night. got some homework to do. besides, i'd like to critique your masterpiece with a fresh eye.
something ain't right with this whole thing. panza knew you were in there tonight and he just let it happen. didn't lift a finger. i mean, if he's working for yakavetta, why would he stand by and just watch all his guys get taken out?
starting ta look that way. somebody pushed that visa through. could have ourselves a gen-u-ine 'ghost in the darkness,' here.
on a sultry saturday in september the saints saved seventeen souls. try saying that five times fast.
just fine. cunty.
boy. i'd love to hear a gen-u-wine professional's assessment of a crime scene. how 'bout you, detectives?
there are three inaccuracies in what you just said. number one, david.
number two, dolly.
number three, duffy.
why don't you let me take a crack at it, john? won't cost you nuthin'.
cuz, tonight. mamma's right on time.
this evening's topic of discussion? desperate times require desperate measures.
which brings us to the relevance of our new guests.
it's time to reclaim the streets with an iron fist.
let's explain the glass, now. why is most of it inside the room?
here's why. or it will be "why" in a moment. y'see, these boys. well, to put it simply, they tend to get reeeeal.
and you can count on it like the u.s. mail. through rain, sleet, hail or snow. something always seems to go wrong for these poor sons o' guns.
one. thing has always amazed me.
how quiet it gets. you ever noticed that? it's hard to imagine that just a few hours ago, it was the god damn o.k. coral in here.
one thang i'm gon guarantee ya.
we gon have us a good time.
in the old barn tonight!
yeeeeeee haaaaaaaw!!!
hold up, now.
was that the best you could do?
shhhhhh. ya broke down the door, didn'tcha?
and that, gentlemen. is the sound of the fat lady singin'.
you bet your ass you weren't.
yakavetta had a partner, didn't he.
you saw this fella?
what was it?
easy, david. i'm fine. c'mon gents, we're leaving. this is the fed's problem, now.
you got him in custody. ask him yourself. you're the professional.
feels like our ghost ta me.
we've all had enough excitement for one night. let's sleep on it.
i hope they do it slow. you piece of shit.
he lives in york maine. about 30 minutes from here. better go quick. i logged on to an fbi database to get the info. homeland security does internal monitoring now. only a matter of time before they flag it.
i hear costa rica's nice.
i never thought i'd ask this of another human being but please. kill this man.