are you alright?
i think they took my car. could you drive me home?
i'm penelope stamp.
s' ok.
this car is like riding in a huge marshmallow.
for the bike, and the whole, thing. this was a big shit sandwich. ok. bye.
i realized.  i should have.  invited you in.  for coffee.  right?
i'm really bad at talking to people.
no! i want to talk to you. fuck.
nothing. maybe you should go.
i collect hobbies. i see someone doing something i like, and i get books and learn how to do it.
not really.
no. i know a lot of stuff.
kinda sad.
i dunno. i'm not a planner. i just do stuff. here, look at this watermelon. it's a camera. you can make a pinhole camera out of anything hollowish and dark.
no, yeah it does. that's what - the taj majal taken by a fat tourist with diarrhea and a point- and-shoot camera can be the flattest, dullest, "here's us at the taj majal," "oh lovely lets go stick our thumbs up our asses" picture. but you can look at the most menial everyday thing, and depending on how your pinhole camera eats the light, it's warped and peculiar and imperfect. it's not reproduction, it's storytelling.
i dunno about truth. a photograph is a secret about a secret. the more it tells you, the less you know.
huh. well shit.
are you leaving?
are you coming back?
goodbye bloom.
hey.
you left this money in my kitchen.
oh. hey, where's this boat going?
well i'd never been to greece. or europe. or outside new jersey.
it looked like fun. i wanted to do it.
sort of.
yuengling like the beer?
i don't plan.
i make cameras out of watermelons.
lucky guess.
fishing for an entertaining childhood anecdote that encapsulates my adult issues?
when i turned six i started getting allergies, hayfever, rashes, really bad. so my mom took me into the doctor, and he did that test where they use needles to prick a grid on your back with all the different toxins, to see which ones you're allergic to. the next day i came in, the doctor lifted up my shirt, and my back looked like a patch of oily, moldy, blackish green double- puff marshmallows. i was allergic to everything. so they sealed the house with plastic and a special ventilation system, and i spent my entire childhood and adolescence indoors. mostly alone. lonely.
it wasn't `til i was nineteen they discovered what i was actually allergic to was the aluminum alloy the hypodermic needle was made out of. then i was going to leave, but my mom got sick. so i stayed. and she stayed sick, a long time.
the trick to not feeling cheated is to learn how to cheat. so i decided this wasn't a story about a miserable girl trapped in a house that smelled like medical supplies wasting her life on a dying person she sometimes hated. it was about a girl who could find infinite beauty in anything, any little thing. and do anything she decided to do. and love the person she was trapped with. so i told myself that story until it became true. now did doing that let me escape a wasted life, or did it just blind me so i wouldn't want to escape it? i don't know. but either way, i was the one telling my own story. so i don't feel cheated.
who is that man? you avoided him earlier on the deck.
i went through a phase when i was mildly obsessed with the bolero.
monsieur.
yes you did.
you're in antiques?
how'd you find her?
i like her.
only as the creepy frenchman.
pleased to make your acquaintance. what do you do?
i'm an epileptic photographer.
your name's melville?
sorry, no, cause i noticed but i couldn't place it, this ship is the fidele, which was the ship in melville's novel "the confidence man." so that's weird.
smugglers. it's like an adventure story. whose idea was it to go straight?
scary.
telling a story.
that's kinda the thing we all want, right?
he came out of nowhere last night.
whatever's in his pipe, it made me thick.
an 8th century prayer book.
from his museum in prague, stashed in the castle.
yeah. medieval art bores the crap out of me so i don't know it that well. so that's what he does, he makes pieces in his collections disappear, then sells them off via a trusted middleman.
an argentinian. argentine? argentinian?
he'll sell it to a middleman for one million, us. the argentin. a guy will pay two point five.
is he legit?
the train station.
prague.
why not?
i do, i've got, that's whatever. i mean a real reason.
i think a little real danger might suit me. i'm gonna do it.
what are you talking about? it totally is.
smuggling. from the snack car.
gin is fuckin fruity. have you taken this train before?
so this is all like fuckin `whatever' to you.
with the who?
that's offensive.
do i get a smuggler nickname?
i think you're constipated. in your fuckin soul.
you've got a big load of grumpy petrified poop up your ass, i'm just calling you out on it. yeah i'm pretending i'm a smuggler, so you know what? i'm a fuckin smuggler. if that's your thing, fuckin tell it like you own it. when you've got a spotlight in front of your feet, man, fuckin jump into it and dance the shit out of it. stop fuckin thinking so much. enjoy the fuckin ride. fuck.
shh. i love thunderstorms.
what was she like?
cash?
gin is slow death, man.
why is it the last thing you see every night, and the first thing you see every morning?
right. oh, right.
you aren't constipated. you're scared. what are you scared of?
the golem came for him. in my dream. crawled out of the painting and killed him in a horrible way.
oh.
oh.
what a waste.
but maybe there is, maybe it's real, we don't know!
it's my money, i'm going to find out for sure. he gave us every piece of information we need.
c'mon. help me break into this castle. it'll be fun.
i feel like i want to know more about her.
what's it say?
second left, third right, access hatch behind the copier, i need to sleeeeeeep.
bloom, i need to sleep.
you know what i feel?
scared. all my big talk. but this isn't a story, it's real. fuckin scary.
ok.
i'm in prague. i burned a man's lips off to break into a castle in prague.
thank you sir, i will not soon forget your kindness.
you guys seem a little tense.
is this going to be more dangerous than i think, tomorrow?
i'm really happy right now. are you?
hey.
what's up?
bloom. what?
wow.
money? i don't want the money, let's just leave.
i don't want the money.
we're leaving.
bloom. let's just go. please.
bloom.
hello.
the chink.
she gave me her cell when we got to mexico.
i think she's kind of selective in who she gives the number to.
why did you decide to stay with your brother instead of coming with me in mexico?
i've been doing a lot of thinking the past three months. i want you to consider something.
i don't believe you.
so what's the next job?
but you've got-
i thought it was fake.
where?
tomorrow it all starts.
he hassled me. took forever looking the book over, haggled the price. wanted to pay me in rubles.
are you alright?
yeungling went to get another car.
we don't know. he was gone.
the russians.
where does she get all these cars?
what did it mean?
what did it say?
i still can't believe it.
what? oh, oh god do you think she faked it? so the russians would think she was dead?
where are you going?
we can skip the whole you-sending- me-nobly-away-and-me-refusing-to- leave-your-side-thing.
what's in there? tell me who this guy is.
moth balls.
it's okay. honey, it's alright.
diamond dog? where is the diamond dog?
what about him?
it's a ransom note. it says they have stephen, it says they want the money wired to a specific account, they give a bank to do it at and a manager to ask for.
it's a lot.
i'll do it, i want to, i've got plenty-
one point seven five million.
what are you talking about?
would he do that? to you?
but you don't know. let's transfer the money. you don't know.
you don't know. this is your brother's life. i'm gonna wire the money.
ok.
i'm going to be here when you come out.
hey. hey, it's ok. the bridge is coming up, we're almost at the border. were you dreaming about stephen?
what is it? you're scaring me-
how long had he been alone.
since yesterday morning.
bloom-
i know.
i know.
and he did it so you could live. your brother loved you. he loved you so much. look at me. stephen said something once, i got the feeling he'd rather be telling it to you. he said there's no such thing as an unwritten life. just badly written ones. i love you.