bruce nolan is standing by at niagara falls with a report on the maid of the mist sightseeing boat, but before we go live to bruce, we have an announcement to make. as everyone knows, after 33 years, our beloved pete fineman is retiring. pete smiles a proud, heart-felt smile.
pete's shoes are virtually impossible to fill, but the show must go on. and we could think of no one better than our very own evan baxter.
congratulations, evan. looks like we'll be sitting side by side from now on.
wow. that was amazing. and now let's go live to wacky bruce nolan out at niagara falls.
we may be having a bit of technical difficulty.
good evening and welcome to eyewitness news at six. i'm susan ortega.
looks like my new co-anchor may need a glass of water. she laughs, evan laughs in a ridiculous high pitched girly l au gh tha t m ak es it ev en w or se . h e s ip s th e w at er a nd hi s . " "" n vj voice returns.
somebody get some napkins. dallas, help me.
his hair's on fire! dallas runs off.
hi br uce. what are you d oing out here all alone?
yeah, i didn't see her in there. i love the new place, by the way. so how are you and grace doing?
you're on fire bruce. some women can't handle fire. some can. susan smooths close to bruce.
you know, i always had an instinct about you. i knew you were going to make something of yourself.
there's something special about you bruce. i like special.
i was right. she couldn't handle the fire. * bruce looks at susan with disgust, then glances to a fire alarm on the wall, mentally triggers it. the sprinklers turn on, as well. people scream, rush toward the exit. bruce sits down on the sofa, being rained on by the sprinklers, alone. he finally plops back and god is sitting next to him.
bruce, if i had any idea grace was going to be there last night.
oh, really. . . that's nice.
i'm susan ortega.
we apologize for the interruption, and now back to the news. bruce. . .
i'm sorry, we're going live to rupp arena where the buffalo sabers have won the stanley cup. fred.  bruce is noticeably bothered. cut to: