where's ebby? no. the guy's professional debut and he forgets about it. seen ebby? ebby?! jesus. game starts in four minutes! why ain't you warm?! i'm fining you a hundred dollars. jesus, ebby, this is your professional debut tonight -- you know how many guys out there'd give blood to be in your shoes an' you're leavin' your fastball in the locker room for some piece of ass! oh, millie, jeez, sorry -- i didn't recognize ya. don't take it personal but if i catch you in here again you're banned from the ballpark. whatta we need a scoreboard for? we haven't scored any runs all year get your ass out there. what?! ya got three minutes. little high. he walked eighteen?! struck out eighteen. crash davis? i'm joe riggins. sit down 'cause of ebby calvin laloosh. the big club's got a hundred grand in him -- -- we had the gun on him tonight -- the last five pitches he threw were faster than the first five. 96 miles an hour, 98, 97, 97. 97. he's got the best young arm i've seen in 30 years. you been around, you're smart, you're professional, you know what it takes -- we want you to mature the kid. we want you to room with him on the road and stay on his case all year. he can go all the way. you can keep going to the ballpark and keep gettin' paid to do it. beats hell outta working at sears. even if it's the carolina league -- this is a chance to play everyday. winston-salem. batting practice at 4:30. yeah, ed, shut the door. this is the toughest job a manager has, ed. but the organization has decided to make a change -- we're releasing you from your contract. relax. relax, nuke, relax. what kinda stuff's he got? what're you thinking about out here, nuke? good. but just 'cause you ain't s'posed to think don't mean you ain't s'posed to use your head. anybody not outta the shower in ten seconds gonna get fined a hundred bucks. one, two. no press for five minutes, whitey. if i ever need a brain transplant i'll choose a sportswriter 'cause that way i'd be getting a brain that's never been used. what're you laughing at?! you guys lollygag the ball around the infield, ya lollygag you're way to first, ya lollygag in an' outta the dugout. you know what that makes ya lollygaggers. what's our record, larry? eight and sixteen?! how'd we ever win eight? jose, what's this sign? wrong. that's the bunt. this is the steal. face is "skin to skin". skin starts with "s". "s" stands for steal if it follows the indicator which is hand to eye 'cause the word "indicator" starts with an "i" so i figure "eye" -- -- would remind you of "i" for indicator to indicate that what follows is the sign. i figure wrong -- you're a buncha lollygaggers. this is a simple game. ya throw the ball, ya hit the ball, ya catch the ball. we can't win at home -- how we gonna win on the road? we got a twelve day road trip starting tomorrow. bus leaves at six in the morning. yeah, bobby, shut the door. this is the toughest job a manager has. but the organization has decided to make a change -- i got one word to say to you -- shut up! i just got one word to say to everybody -- shut up! nuke -- get everybody in here. hundred dollar fine anybody's not here in five. who are you? no. i want you to hear my philosophy. it'll do you some good here it is. this is a simple game. you throw the ball, you hit the ball, you catch the ball. you got that?! are you lovely creatures aware that you are about to compromise yourselves with a buncha bums who are -- -- what are we? eight and twenty-four! how'd we ever win 8 games? look, guys -- i'm a man, i got needs too. i understand this party -- but. sex is the one thing you can get further behind in and catch up faster than anything i know. there's a baseball lesson in there somewhere. where's crash? aw christ, he don't have to come. he's hitting .350. i believe in a double standard for guys hitting .350. look, men -- you got a choice. you wanta be roasting your nuts off for midas muffler welding exhaust pipes up the assholes of cadillacs. or -- you wanta be sitting in the caddy while some other guy's crawling around in a monkey suit with a blow torch? there's only two places you can be in life -- in the caddy or under it. these are the best years of your lives. these are the glamor days. it don't got any better than this. but. if this club don't start winning soon, there's gonna be changes made! shut up! this is a damn noisy clubhouse for a team that's lost 15 straight. patkin was a tribute to baseball. jesus -- what's got into nuke? i'm getting too old for this game. nuke's overthrowing tonight, he don't look loose. anything bothering him? okay. what the hell's going on out there? check it out. crash, shut the door. this is the toughest job a manager has. the organization wants to make a change. now that nuke's gone they wanta bring up some young catcher. i put in a word for you with the organization -- told 'em i thought you'd make a fine minor league manager someday. might be an opening at salem next year -- helluva year, crash -- you know how it is.