and what about the face, you know, the window to the soul. baby crow's feet. little chickling's feet. i mean chicks. chickie chickie chickie. yeah, i don't wanna look like boris karloff. no, i'm all woman! yeah, i don't want to get anything burned off. not with these ham hocks! well i don't know. is the vaccine thing----can you counsel me on this? i don't know, is it unsightly? i see it a lot, a bunch of people have it. chad! chad feldheimer. office. i got a batch from bewithmedc dot com. i don't know yet, just looking. how do you open this? oh my god! oh my god, what a loser! loser! loser!. what is this! they should call this mr. saggy dot com. loser! no, only guys do. i submitted a verbal profile, turn-ons, turn-offs, et cetera. i'm really looking for someone with a sense of humor. him? him? how can you tell? oh yeah? does he look like he has a sense of humor? state department. his hair is. what is that? this is the cardio area. a lot of machines here so that, believe me, there's never a wait. what you're seeing now, this is our busiest time, and there's still a couple of open treadmills i see, three stairmasters---- i call it the butt-blaster----couple of lifecycles----hi, chad. not yet! chad is one of our trainers. i've just started internet dating and i got my first look at the, uh. bewithmedc dot com? have you used them? that's fantastic. yes! english! agent! yes, hi, this is linda litzke, should i give you my account number? you have it up? okay. i was informed that i needed pre-approval for these surgeries, and then. yes, it was denied. no, those are four different operations. it's very complicated; i'm reinventing myself, it's a whole new look so it isn't just one thing, however, it's all approved by my doctor. but----madam! this is not----my job involves, you know, public interface! this is not. yes i do understand. could i speak to your supervisor please? alan? oh for pete's sake! english!. agent!. agent!. ted, can i talk to you about our mickey mouse health plan? is that my date list? you know, i'm trying to reinvent myself, and these procedures, which are so incredibly not cheap, this micky mouse hmo is saying they're not, they're. what is this? what is it? you can't do that! you should put a note up in the ladies' locker room. absolut saketini, please? you know, it wouldn't cover all of it, but if i got some advance on my salary i could at least get the surgery ball rolling. well why do they have us on a cockamamie health plan? i need these surgeries, ted! ted, i have gone just as far as i can go with this body! i---- that's right, ted, i would be laughed out of hollywood. i have very limited breasts and a gi-normous ass and i have this gut that swings back and forth in front a me like a shopping cart with a bent wheel. i am trying to get back in circulation. i have appetites and so forth, and, uh---- yeah----losers! omygod----is that you?! well jeez, that's a good job! what happened? well that's my point! i don't want to stay where i am! i want to find someone to share my journey! that's right! that's why i've started this internet dating! look ted, i know you can't authorize an advance on my salary but you can put in a request, can't you? ted, have you ever heard of the power of positive thinking? hurrow---- hello?. where are you?. okay. just a second. chad, you know what time it is? the guy? is he high up? what is it? never heard of him. i'm just saying, to the layman---- uh-huh. uh-huh. i have tap water how did you find out who he is? what do you mean sources? how do you know his name? uh-huh. omygod! omygod, why? oh, wow. we're going to return it, we just thought---- like a good samaritan tax---- you warn us? you warn us? you know what, mr., mr. intelligence? we warn you! we'll call you back with our demands! chad! don't play his game! the nerve of that guy! oh, he'll play ball! we just have to let him know who's boss. yeah, that's why we got him, you know, we've caught him with his thing caught in a big fat wringer. and us in the driver's seat. this is our opportunity, like, you don't get many of these. you slip on the ice outside of, you know, a fancy restaurant. or this happens. and right now this has happened. this could put a big dent in my surgeries. harry? i'm linda. you wanna try these dumplings? they're * delicious. shellfood? * that's right! not always! omygod, really! no way! i guess. thanks for telling me. i really do appreciate it, harry. that's not gonna go off, is it? he's very very communicative. very accessible. he has a sense of humor. and he agrees one hundred percent about my surgeries. he thinks my ass could be smaller. i mean, not in a mean way, he kidded about it----he's got a terrific sense of humor. i told you, he's in the treasury department and he---- yeah, so am i! no, you can't go like that! you gotta wear a suit. yeah! where's the money? where's the money?! oh, for----get in! that'll give him something to think about. i knew this would happen. it's on to plan b. heavens sakes---- some people! russian embassy. i told mr. krapkin i might be stopping * by? the organs of state security? but if i had, oh, say, secrets of a highly, um, secrets that would interest the organs of state security. this is just a taste. no you may not. chad! um. pc. * well---- i have a date---- well----okay. this is just a taste. there's a lot more. but we need to be paid. look, i have a date. date. we work at the hardbodies in alexandria. chad, not your home address! no. linda. * i'm sorry. yes we do. i'm sorry, ted. we can't. i. i. ted, i know this is terrible, but----i have to run. i have a date. i'm sorry----am i late? oh! no, no i haven't. uh-huh. oh, it's never easy. well, i'm very open to new experiences. what is it? omygod! it's fantastic! uh-uh. well maybe we can. hey! i don't like the snideness! nor the * negativity! i'm just trying to work this thing! if i'm going to reinvent myself i need those surgeries. and those surgeries cost money! this is not just fun and games! so let's figure this thing out! we know who he is so we can find out where he lives, right? you should change. into your suit. so you don't look out of place in the neighborhood. there are certain elementary things. yes. we'll remove the laundry marks and labels. and you should not be carrying id. deniability. we are on a long lens point-of-view, from several cubicles over, of linda slumped at her desk, head in her arms. we faintly hear her sobbing. i'm fine, ted, i'm sorry. no no, i'm. i'm. oh, i know you're trustworthy, i just. don't want to endanger other people with----i mean, it's a path i've chosen, it's not, you have to isolate, you know, a firewall. i know, ted. i know, ted. no! no no no, ted! just, just. . . give me twenty-four hours! to, um. i don't know, twenty-four hours! just give me twenty-four hours to solve this thing! foreigner? ted, we know what we're doing. let me ask you this: did he know my name. thank you, ted. omygod! hello? mr. krapkin? * yes? yes, yes!----hang on. ted, i'm sorry. this is private. hello. is this a secure line, mr. krapkin? * mr. krapkin? * is this a secure, uh---- no! i----i'm terribly worried about my associate. my----my----you know. chad. do you have him? is he----i don't know what the term is, did he, "go over"? do you know where he is? no, i----look, can i come in and discuss this? what kind of mickey mouse embassy are you running?! i've been waiting here for fifty-five minutes, and i'm---- well this could be urgent too, since, you know, chad has been missing for forty-eight hours now and---- well he was gathering information for you when he---- dribble! dribble! i'll tell you what's dribble! you listen to me, mr. krapkin! i am---- cut it out. but ted, i can't do it, i don't know anything about computers. my world is bigger than that, ted. there's other people. there's the chinese. it's not just the surgeries, ted! it's not just the money! we can use it as leverage! to get chad back! information is power, ted! hel-lo! somebody has him. and we can---- i can't take it! i can't take it! i can't take it! you know i can't do that! we're operating off the map here, ted! this is way higher than the police, it's higher than that! i need a can-do person, ted! i hate your negativity! i hate all your reasons why not! i hate you! i hate you! hurrow---- hello? but this was a long time coming. you're depressed, harry. it can't always come from me, harry! i'm not that strong! you're not here for me! i need a can- do person! you're all. defeated! chad is the only can-do person i know and he's gone, harry, he's gone. could you help me find him? he's a friend from work. you know law enforcement people, right? you could call, unofficially? chad feldheimer. he just disappeared. he hasn't been at work or at home for two days. he---- huh? no! i---- i don't know! he just disappeared! the last place i saw him was the jamba juice on k street. and he's gone. well you seem better. harry! that's how i believe, also. you have to do what's right for---- no one's immortal. exactly. the important thing is to maintain a positive outlook. always up. always ebullient. of course i do. no, no. have you found out anything about chad? really? uh-huh. oh, i know where he was going. a residence in alexandria. on hillsboro drive. 2055 hillsboro. it's, um. the residence of a guy named osbourne cox. i'm . just . linda litzke. harry! oh for pete's sake.