for years in this industry whenever an african-american character - hero or villain - was introduced usually by white artists and writers - they got slapped with racist names that singled them out as negroes: black panther, black lightning, black goliath, black mantra, black talon, black spider, black hand, black falcon, black cat.
she is? well bust this - regardless. we're at a panel discussion. the room is full. five creators sit at a long table, their names on placards in front of them. the banner behind them reads words up - minority voices in comics'.
now my book, white-hating coon', doesn't have any of that bullshit. the hero's name is maleekwa, and he's a descendant of the black tribe that established the first society on the planet, while all you european mother fuckers were still hiding in caves and shit, all terrified of the sun. he's a strong role model that a young black reader can look up to, cause i'm here to tell you - the chickens are comin' home to roost, ya'll: the black man's no longer gonna play the minstrel in the medium of comics and sci- fi. fantasy! we're keeping it real, and we're gonna get respect - by any means necessary! during the speech, holden and banky enter and sit up front.
who said that?!?
fuck lando calrissian! uncle tom nigger! always some white boy gotta invoke the holy trilogy'! bust this - those movies are about how the white man keeps the brother man down - even in a galaxy far, far away. check this shit. you got cracker farm-boy luke skywalker, nazi poster boy - blond hair, blue eyes. and then you've got darth vader: the blackest brother in the galaxy. nubian god.
shut the fuck up! now vader, he's a spiritual brother, with the force and all that shit. then this cracker skywalker gets his hands on a light- saber, and the boy decides he's gonna run the fucking universe - gets a whole klan of whites together, and they're gonna bust up vader's hood the death star. now what the fuck do you call that!
gentrification. they're gonna drive our the black element, to make the galaxy quote, unquote safe' for white folks.
don't make me bust a cap in your ass, yo! jedi's the most insulting installment, because vader's beautiful, black visage is sullied when he pulls off his mask to reveal a feeble, crusty white man! they're trying to tell us that deep inside, we all want to be white!
black rage! black rage!! i'll kill
what's a nubian!' bitch, you almost made me laugh! hooper sounds different actually, he sounds gay. actually - he is. banky smiles.
well this right here - she full of blanks, okay. and opiate gets all sorts of legal clearances before i go on.
condones? honey, they insist. i need to sell the image to sell the book would the audience still buy the black rage' angle if they found out the book was written by a.  a.
when you say if it sounds so sexy.
look out, boys - this kitten has a whip.
holden. banky - this pile of p.m.s. is alyssa jones. she does that book idiosyncratic routine'. this is the fourth panel we've been on together, and even though she knows my publisher sets this up and pays for the event. she still gets mad when it ends with my act.
that's what my father said when i came - nay - leapt out of the closet these boys do bluntman and chronic', which outsells both of our books put together, hence they're never on a panel with the likes of us. they slumming right now.
hey, jealousy. i told alyssa i'd buy her a post-rave drink. do the garden-staters have to sprint to the lincoln tunnel, or can you stay for a round in the big, scary city!
archie and jughead were lovers.
it's true. archie was the bitch and jughead was the butch - that's why jughead wears that crown-looking hat all the time: he the king, of queen archie's world.
here. i want you to go down to the corner store and buy yourself a clue. go on.
i told you to watch it with that urkel shit. face it, girl - archie's a sister.
moi?
this boy is conflicted, i shall play mother-therapist for him. you two sit tight. we shall return promptly. banky and hooper exit, leaving alyssa and holden alone at the table.
deny, deny, deny. where's alyssa?
read between the lines.
d'jou see that dent in the hood of your car!
let me guess: you like her!
miss alyssa jones.
as long as that's all. maybe you can convince that partner of your's to drop me off downtown before you scurry out the tunnel!
hell no. weatherbee was reggie's bitch.
hooper here. listen, i know how you burb-fiends hate the city, but there's a club shindig going down that i think you'd get into.
place called her-sterectomy - i'm tempting as bar-keep.
i told her you wouldn't be interested.
alyssa.
how do you begin and end a question with the same word like that? you got skill. yes, that one. she asked me to invite you. now here's the part where you say.
thought so. ten o'clock. later.
trying to find you a tissue.
as long as you don't bitch about how little alcohol is in the drink. you owe me five sixty.
where's your better half!
that's funny - he says you're hung like an infant.
over there.
wait. wait, wait - there's something you should know.
well.  no.
'chicks'. you're such a man.
you don't know the half of it.
where's that bitch partner of your's been?
i think it's more like banky's having a problem with all things not hetero right about now. and i'm just another paradigm of said aberration.
but i do think he is a bit homophobic. and this latest episode between you and ms. thing has tapped into that. in his warped perception, he lost you to the dark side - which is she.
don't kid yourself - that boy loves you in a way that he's not ready to deal with.
and just what has mister angela lansbury uncovered about your lady fair?
really? well then he's barking up the wrong we if he wants to split you up, isn't he? he's not going to make you see the error of your ways by pointing out how truly gay she's not this one?
how so?
so, what if it is true? would that bother you?
so what do you care?
kind of gal alyssa is, you don't think she's been in the middle of an all - girl group-grope?
oh holden, i beg you - please don't drop fifty stories in my opinion of you by falling prey to that latest of trendy beasts.
lesbian chic. it's oh-so acceptable to be a gay girl nowadays. people think it's cute, because they've got this fool picture in their heads about lipstick lesbians - like they all resemble alyssa - while most of them look more like you.
gay or straight - ugly's still ugly. and most of those boys are scary.
screw that 'all for one' shit. i gotta deal with being the minority in the minority of the minority, and nobody's supporting my ass? while the whole of society is fawning over girls- on-girls, here i sit - a reviled gay man, and to top that off, i'm a gay black man - notoriously the most swishy of the bunch.
hey, hey! there's a line.
a-salaam alaikum, little brother.
see that guy there? he's the devil, you understand? never take your eye off the man. our people took their eyes off him one time, and he had us in chains in two shakes of his snake's tail.
fight the power, little 'g'.
look at what i have to resort to for professional respect. what is it about gay men that terrifies the rest of the world. as for this hang-up with alyssa's past, maybe what's really bothering you is that your fragile fantasy might not be true.
holden - don't even try to come off like you don't know what i'm saying. men need to believe that they're marco fucking polo when it comes to sex - like they're the only ones who've ever explored new territory. and it's hard not to let them believe it. i let my boys run with it for awhile - feed them some of that "i've never done this before" bullshit, and let 'em labor under the delusion that they rockin' my world, until i can't stand them anymore. then i hit 'em with the truth. it's a sick game. the world would be a better place if people would just accept that there's nothing new under the sun, and everything you can do with a person has probably been done long before you got there.
honey, that almost sounded convincing. do yourself a favor - just ask her about her past, point blank. get it out of the way, before it gets too big for both ya'll to move. oooh! 'myra breckinridge'!