two packs of cigarettes. i've actually seen it before. no, i've seen that behavior before. looking for the perfect carton of eggs, right? i'll bet you a million bucks that the guy's a guidance counselor. i was in the food city last year when the same thing happened, different guy though. stock boy told me that the guy had been looking through the eggs for like half an hour, doing all sorts of endurance tests and shit. i ask the kid how come nobody called the manager, and he says it happens twice a week, sometimes more. i kid you not. they call it shell shock. only happens with guidance counselors for some reason. the kid said they used to make a big deal about it, but there's no point. he said they always pay for whatever they break and they never bother anybody. if your job served as little purpose as theirs, wouldn't you lose it, too? see? it's important to have a job that makes a difference, boys. that's why i kill chinamen for the railroad.