those who follow lincoln, or preach abolition, best keep one eye open when they're sleeping, old bogey man might get you!
that's right, son. home guard for haywood county. i'm the law from today. you all go fight now. we'll watch your sweethearts.
my condolences to you all. keep an eye on the negro. they want what the white man got -- all of you watch out your brave boys give their lives to war and meantime your slaves carry murder, rape and arson to your firesides.
it's taken me too long, but i've come to pay my respects.
i reckoned you might need fattening up.
this house must bring bad luck. killed my granddaddy to lose it, then my daddy died on account of not having it, then your daddy died on account of getting it. we should burn it down.
lot to manage without help. need a hand with that pump?
i'm happy to volunteer.
the war? i wanted to go. but you know: too old, too literate. plus i got no spleen. lost it from a horse's kick.
that's the thing about an organ. you don't know you need it till you lost it. i want to clear this path. i can just as soon do it and talk as stand around and talk. then you can say men beat a path to your door.
would you rather i did my job? see if there's any material i should confiscate. for the war effort.
good manners didn't quite make it to these mountains. if it don't yield meat, or you can't sit on it, or suck on it.  and you're sleeping all right? these cold dark nights?
it's going to be a long hard winter.
what you looking to catch?
with that trap.
still but the two of you up there, is it?
when we get a cold night, camped out, trying to keep the rule of law, protecting girls like you from federals and deserters, that's a thought warms us ain't it? -- the two of you up there on my grand-daddy's farm, dressed in men's clothes. warms us right up. what you got in the sacks? looks like human heads! eh? looks like a bunch of heads. we got competition!
afternoon.
i'm not spreading out. i'm sitting here.
never knew a man worked in his field with a shotgun.
got to watch out for the bogey man.
your boys come back.
he means us. he's referring there to us. so you won't care if we take a look around?
sure.
thing is -- you got one barrel and there's five of us. not a fair fight.
you're harbouring deserters. i can confiscate every animal on this farm, every plate, every sheet, every little pellet of chicken shit -- i can confiscate your old lady's asshole, so don't offer me a bird.
hey!
you got your bait. set it on the hook.
evening. hope we didn't disturb you.
name's teague. do i know you?
you a deserter? -- don't mind if i just warm up at your fire. that your wife?
he your wife?
look pretty romantic by the fire. don't they? your boyfriend's got a nice bit of flesh on him. close your eyes slip inside that shirt get two good handfuls -- dark enough i'd be willing. i'm just kidding. tell him, i'm just kidding.
did you answer my question -- about your military status?
oh, so like a hero's discharge.
and your boyfriend?
i'm sorry -- he's fat, he's simple and got titties -- but you're insisting he ain't a woman. god damn! don't that sausage smell outstanding.
mighty outstanding! there's a new phrase. mighty outstanding. listen, don't tell me -- you left your papers somewhere.
your hero's discharge. for mighty outstanding valour.
and where, where, where is your house?
but you're up the mountain.
on honeymoon. i'm pretty fucking funny tonight.
evening, mrs.
where's georgia?
georgia's like my armpit. worse, it's like yours. want some sausage?
yes, ma'am.
i'm known!
really.
we heard there were deserters in these parts. hiding out in a big cave.
you don't know where this cave is?
sounds good. okay, let's eat, let's hear some music.
stand over by that tree.
over by that tree. over there. take your boyfriend.
don't smile.
quit smiling.
put your hat over your face.
cover your face with your hat.
god damn! you're a hard fucker to put down. good directions to that cave from the fat boy -- saw the squirrels, sat on the tree made some friends, brought some back with me.