gimme a five crown.
smoochy the rhino. wow. i'm a big fan.
burke bennett. i represent kid show talent.
look, shel, frank strokes ain't in the business to make you rich. he's in it to make frank stokes rich. that's how these network goons operate.
you know, years ago, a client of mine, dicky gimble, was having a problem.
yeah, before the asshole found religion. anyway, stokes was trying to screw my boy out of some merchandising points. claimed he had a warehouse full of dicky dolls that weren't moving. now frank and i are old friends, so i say to him, 'okay, cock, show me the warehouse' -- see, i know the fucking warehouse is in the bronx, and i know it's emptier than my wife's head. to make a long story short, i walk out with a check for a hundred grand and stokes is sitting there with his thumb up his ass.
shel, it's all about the dough. after you get the money, you get the power. and after you get the power, you can have smoochy walk on stage with a hard-on if you want.
unfortunately, until then.  you're just another puppet in the prop room.
give me a call when you're ready, kid. i'll cut the strings and open the magic door for you.
yeah, so what do you want? a parade?
not anymore, pal. you're a cigarette butt. go lay in the gutter.
as you can imagine, my client has many concerns, not the least of which is studio security, but we can address that later.
see this guy, frank? take a good long look, 'cause this prick saved your life. without him you'd be sitting in kaplan's right now, sucking club soda through a paper straw. and, you -- you'd be organizing puppet shows for the brats at p.s. 86. excuse me, honey.
'cause i'm holding all the gunpowder. i represent the man who created, owns, and controls every square inch of smoochy the rhino.
god created adam and what did he get? a fucking dud. my guy? he breathed life into a winner. and anyone who does a better job than god is gonna have a price.
yes i am.
oh, so you were doing him a favor? allow me to untangle this web of shit! i don't care what his resume was, i don't care where you found him, i don't care if his last job was juggling apples for a hut full of pygmies on the outskirts of the congo.  the fact is, he fits a bill and you need him. like a hungry baby needs a big tit. and that, my friends, is why you're in a box with no ventilation. and that is why the rhino is going to get what he deserves.
heaven, hell, and everything in between.
to the star and new executive producer of the smoochy show! may your reign be a long and healthy one!
and don't forget the corporate penthouse. it took me six years to get that for randolph.
it's called the high life, kid. get used to it. pretty soon you'll be burnin' one hundred dollar bills just to see franklin break a sweat.
that's your graduation present. something you're gonna need now.
think of it as a tool of the trade.
trust me, shel. it's a handy accessory in this business. even if you don't load it, have it for show. sometimes that's all you need. especially with a creep like randolph lurking around.
okay, champ, don't get overheated.
spinner? the guy couldn't run a water faucet. he's just a mascot. it's his cousins, a bunch of irish mob boys, who really run the joint.
i think you made a new friend, kid.
shel, do you know what kind of cash we'll take in between the gate and concessions? a venture like this gets you money and muscle. times twenty.
look, i know you got this fetish for ethics, but now's not the time to fly that kite. no one's ever refused a shot at an ice show.
i'm thrilled, shel. knocked out.
don't do it, shel. you rat on parade of hope and you'll be lucky if they find your toenails. these guys are the roughest of all the charities.
the real one. my advice? consider the ice show and stay healthy.
so you were saying you had some good news?
finally! i got me a bar mitzvah boy. today you are a man!
like they say, rock bottom's a college education.
i'm holding my breath.
sheldon, you can't do an ice show and cut out the vendors. and more importantly, you can't cut out the parade of hope. it's suicide.
tell me more about the asians.
the good old days.
this is very sticky ground we're about to walk on.
let me poke around. sift through the possibilities.
merv green. how's tricks, kid?
you got a minute, pally?
look, i'm chokin' on the same bone as you.
i'm not here to aggravate, just educate. i think mopes might be talking to people he shouldn't be talking to.
he's got it in his head that he's gonna clean up the way we do business. truthfully? i wouldn't be surprised if he's wearing a wire.
jesus, i got a thing across town.
let's keep talking, merv. there's oughta be some kind of solution. don't you think?
relax, everything's gonna work out.
look, we can cover all the tracks we want, but in the end we still got the same problem. we gotta finish what we started.
it'll all be over tonight. buggy's gonna take care of everything.
speak of the devil. have a seat, bug.
it's time we put this thing to rest, frank. and the way i see it.  the rhino's up past his bedtime.
nora.
survival of the fittest!
you fucking point a gun at me? a gun i gave you as a gift?! where's your fucking etiquette?
you know something, kid? you've turned out to be an incredible pain in the ass.
that was a tragic mistake. if only one could turn back time.  but what the hell, it's just one less mick in the world.
oh my. what are you gonna do? kill me? that wouldn't be very smoochy-like behavior.