that was curly!
my mom? oh, no! what's she doing here?
oh, hi, mom.
what's up?
hello?
hawk?
it's my bullworker.
what's gone?
gone!? why would i have the kiss tick?
whew! oh, god, hawk.  i got'm! somehow i musta taken trip's jacket by mistake!
i'm really sorry about that, man.
of course, but has that ever stopped me before? besides, my mom's going to some church meeting and won't be back till late. no sweat.  see you guys in school.
uhh.  nothing.
ahh, sunshine.
change? what's wrong with what i got on?
but, mom!
they're not idiots.
grounded for the rest of the year?
hey, my mom had me over a barrel, all right. after last night, i had to let her dress me today. it's a give and take relationship.
they're still at my house in trip's jacket.
she was standing right over me when i was changing for fuck's sake.
don't worry about it. they're perfectly safe. we can pick them up after school. my mom won't be home. it's no problem.
check.
oof! sorry.
thanks.
beth?
ow!
just a little pink eye. no reason to panic.
it's okay.
yeah?
you mean, you're sending me to.  b- b-boarding school?
mom, three of those tickets don't even belong to me. they're for the guys.
if i'm anything like you, i'll deserve him.
i said, i'm sorry!
please, god, help.
check.
no, but i'm not hungry anyway.
oh, man, my mom is gonna send me to alcatraz for this and i don't even care! i'm gonna see peter criss's drum solo!
don't you think we should at least pull over and offer to clean it off?
whoa! this is about pizza! let's leave kiss out of it. please.
hey, look, it's that girl.
stella or no stella, we should pull over and help her out.
well, couldn't you slow down so i can at least state my case, hawk? if you don't like it, you can speed up and i'll never mention it again.
she's a teenage girl walking on the side of the highway. they make very scary movies that start out like that.
it doesn't mean anything. don't pay attention to him.
trip! that's so fuckin' rude, man.
come on, hawk.
jam.
we made it!
kind of funny, i thought he'd be pissed as hell at me.
guys, guys! come on, if this is anyone's fault, it's mine. i was the one who grabbed trip's jacket by mistake. it's my fault and i apologize.
sometimes i think i don't deserve friends as good as you guys.
it was stolen!
i'm sorry, guys. i thought it was a nice thing to do.
i got.
wait! i know how we can get in!
but.  my plan involves all four of us acting together.
oh.  dear.  lord!!
mom, what're we?
forgive me, father, for i have sinned. this is my first confession in.  well.  a really long time.
just one, father, but boy was it a doozy.
so, you see if it wasn't for me, me and my friends would be at that kiss concert right now.  together.
yeah.
no.
beth? i can't believe it.
are you waiting for confession? i thought you were jewish?
i don't care. i wanna hear more.
beth, i can't believe you just said that because that's exactly how i've always felt about you.  call me jam. it's my band name.
right, slow.
uhh, tying my shoe.
actually, yes. last year i walked out of a candy store with a reggie bar i hadn't paid for, but went back and apologized the next day.
i dunno. i think he had the piece of skin under his tongue removed so he could stick it out farther. i'm not too up on gene trivia.
peter criss is my inspiration, man. if i paid a hundred bucks for a kiss show and all i saw was his solo, i'd consider it.  money.  hey, how'd you know that?
ann arbor?
alright, father, here it is. about two weeks ago i went to my cousin's wedding and one of the bridesmaids asked me if i wanted to take a bath.
i was insulted, so i asked her if i was wreaking some wicked b.o., right? then she said no, she wanted to take a bath with me.
well, she was a very tempting siren, father. built like you wouldn't believe. so i gave into temptation about a block away from the wedding reception at this little motel that charges by the hour.
okay.  when she peeled off that gown, you'll never guess what she was wearing underneath.
no. much bet.  i mean, much more sinful than that.
tell you what. you keep guessing and i'll say something when you get it.
nah. once i get my own wheels, i could come up all the time.
i feel like such an idiot. why didn't i just say something a year and a half ago? man, think of how much time we wasted.
tell me about it. church will never be the same again.
bye.
i'm gonna ask you nicely first. mom, can i have my drumsticks back?
again, can i have my drumsticks?
i know, mom, i've been in trouble for about twelve hours now! hellooooo!?
i'm gonna be spending the next two years of my life at st. bernard's boarding school, remember?! i'm gonna be outta your hair till i'm a legal adult, remember?! that way, all you have to do is go to church, light a candle, pray to a little statue for me, and voila! all is forgiven and forgotten, right mom?!! then, you can spend your days in guilt-free pursuit of more constructive activities like telling everybody else how screwed up their lives are! that way you no longer need the patience and understanding required to communicate on some normal level with your own child!!! and that way you don't even have to think about how tough it was for you when you were growing up, and it's a good thing too. cause if you did, you'd realize what a lousy, goddamn, shitty- ass, parent you are!!!
i just lost my virginity in a confessional booth! lord have mercy!!
for the last time, mom. let me have my fucking drumsticks. please.
it's a miracle! a miracle!
well.  i still got my idea if anybody will let me speak.
we all beat each other up, then, once we're nice and bruised, we run over to the ticket takers and say we got mugged and our tickets were stolen. they gotta let us in then.
look at us!
this is it!