the transistor goes sonny what? i couldn't believe my ears, so i shut the transistor, get outta here, who needs this? i say sonny didn't do it. it's not him to rob a bank. it's not him to hurt anybody, to threaten anybody, to steal or do anything wrong. 'cause he's never done nothin' wrong from the day i know him.
only he tells me this and he tells me that, he's with the mafia, i say, sonny, where do you get the money, you're on welfare, how can you rent a new eldorado, red, you don't like the color you rent a yellow.
so night before last we're at coney island, he's on the rides with the kids, an' i have this habit of goin' in glove compartments an' all, an' i see.
this gun with bullets in there, an' i go to myself, oh god, sonny! that's all i had to see, i didn't say anything.
and things are adding in my head, how crazy he's been acting, and in with a bad crowd, an' i look at him, he's yellin' at the kids like a madman. so inna car i said to him, sonny, what you gonna do with the gun? you gonna shoot me and dump my body inna river or what? i was so scared of him, i never been scared of sonny never. you know, his mother says the cops was always at our house, we was always fighting. i hit him with the jack in the car once, but i only missed and hit myself, you should of seen my leg. and all he would ever do is put on his coat and go out. so they say it's sonny but i don't believe it.
he might of done it, his body functions might of done it, but not he himself.
hey, sonny! i'm watchin' it on tv!
they don't know, i sent them to the neighbors. sonny, jesus, it's not like you. i can't believe, because you never hurt anybody since the day i knew you.
i blame myself, sonny. i notice you been tense, like something is happening; the night before last you're yellin' at the kids like a madman, believe me. and then you wanted me to go on this ride with the kids, this caterpillar about from here to there - fulla one-year- old kids. it's ridiculous. i'm not about to go on this ride, so you yell right there, 'you pig, get on the fuckin' ride!' well, everything fell outta - me - my heart, my liver fell to the floor - you name it! yellin' at me in front of all those people. because you never talked and i never been scared of you, never. i think: he's gonna shoot me and dump my body in the river.
see? you're screaming with the language and all! a person can't communicate with you. you become a stranger in your own home.
because you hurt me, god how you hurt me. can you imagine, marrying another man? did i do something to make you do that? did i ever turn you down, or anything? the only thing i couldn't do, you're gonna laugh, is go on top - i got this fear of high places! and i let myself get fat.
i know you can't stand me to say i'm fat. like i can't stand you being a bank robber. i guess that's what love is -- huh, sonny?
jesus - what - i'm afraid - i'm gonna get shot or whatever. you oughta see it on tv, the guns, the cops, they got cannon, machine guns, they're loaded with gear.
listen, it's late already when i realize it's not just a couple of ordinary faggots, it's just you and sal. i couldn't get a baby sitter.
he made me laugh.
because he always had a way of getting out, always in the army he was awol.
i can't help thinking how he might ring the bell one of these days. that's why i'm nervous, because i'm always thinking some day he's gonna come along and ring the bell.
it would be like always, the bell would ring, we'd have a ball.