30 seconds, sal.
jackie - what are you talking about?
it's too late - just get away from me - don't talk to me now - go over to your place.
seeing that the bank is closed, locked in, with no customers, crosses toward the front teller's cage area, carrying the florist box. as he reaches the other side, he rips open the box and takes the rifle out and aims it level onto sylvia ball, the teller, who automatically takes the "closed" sign and holds it in front of her face as though to protect herself from the rifle.
the cues have got all fucked up, but he's so programmed and ready, he can't adjust, so the speech he had ready comes out now:
okay, this is a stickup! nobody move! this is a fucking stickup! just freeze now, goddammit! get away from your desk.  get in the center - get in the center!
if he moves - blow his guts out.  cover him!
hey, for christ's sake.  now.  fuckin' asshole.  he can't make it.
hey.  let him out!
hey, don't take the car!
take the subway. we need the car. hey, gimme the keys - the keys!
it's okay.  it's okay.
lock it.
hey.  get outta there! nobody's gonna hurt you.
pull the drapes.
pulla drapes!
on his way to the back of the bank, is digging into his jacket pocket; he swings around as he passes the camera that is bolted to a wall bracket covering the tellers' area. he whips out a spray can and gives the lens a shot of red paint. there are three cameras in all, each of which he sprays.
no replay, folks.  no alarms.
okay, is the vault open?
son of a bitch!
what the fuck you tryin' to do? trip the alarm? use the spur key? use the other one.
well, you get your mind right. i'm a catholic and i don't wanna hurt nobody, but goddamn it, don't you play no games with me. unnastand?!?
what's the matter with you?
no money?!
this is it? what am i gonna do with this? holy shit!
okay, don't worry about it. stick it in the bag.
ah, jesus.
what are you crying for? jesus christ. it's not your fault there's no money.
what the hell would i shoot her for?
answer the phone!
okay.  open this.
okay, who's the head teller here?
open this up!
don't take it all out!
boy, i can't trust a one of you.  i worked in a bank, i know the alarms, so don't try to fool around with me!
decoy money, right, it's marked! shit!
'this window is shut'
sal, let him answer the goddamn phones, they're driving me crazy! look at this chicken shit!
hey, you, manager.  don't get any ideas, fucker.  see that man there? i bark and he bites!
my side, shit!
i speak what i feel.
gimme the traveler's checks and the register.
please.  quit that. it's not necessary.
hey, you! give me the keys.  we're gettin' outta here.
gimme the keys to get outta here!
sal.
take it easy.  just gimme the keys. i'm not gonna hurt you. listen, calm down, huh? you're gonna have a heart attack. just gimme the keys.  that's all i want.
nobody move! freeze!
the gun's right on your back.
you're goin' outside with me. if there's no cops around, we just split. otherwise, you go with us.
answer it.
yeah - it's all right.  let's go.
sal, get 'em in the vault.
get 'em in the vault!
no, that's okay.  just close the gate.
what's the matter.  they never housebroke you?
ah shit. okay.  go ahead. anybody else have to go?
wait a minute - i want to check.
who the hell is that? god damn it! what the.
what are you trying to pull?
come on, nobody's going to the bathroom - come on.
yeah.
who's this?
it's the cops. shit!
i took too long.
oh, shit! i gotta have time to think.
just give me time to think.
all right, bastards! you keep away from the bank or we start throwing bodies out the front door one at a time. you got that?
who's this?
is there a jenny here?
it's your husband.
tell him the truth! tell him whatever you tell him!
what a fuckin' comedy! wnew plays all the hits.
but you keep away from the bank or we start throwing bodies out the front door one at a time.  you got it? okay?
what?
i want him to think that.
tell him i don't know.
where's the back door?
hey, jenny - let's go.
sal, i'm sorry about this. but we can get outta this thing. there's a way outta this.
well, i stalled him for a while. when it comes the time, then we'll work it out. okay?
i want him to think that.
we won't have to.
what i want to say is.  everything's gonna be all right.  if we all cooperate and we don't, you know.  carry on.  i don't know you and you don't know me.  and what i'm tryin' to tell you is that if you stay cooled out, we can work this thing out and nobody's going to get hurt.  believe me, i don't want to hurt anybody.  everybody is going to have a chance to do what they have to do.  she's gotta go to the bathroom - so you go - and you can go after.  everybody's gonna get a chance.  everybody's gonna get a chance to use the phone.  let's just take it a step at a time.
now, you -- what's your name?
you and me are checking the other ways in and out.
let's go to the back door. how'd that guy get to be a guard?
to what.  learn how to shoot? they don't get a gun.
they could shoot the lock.  i want to block it, so if they try comin' here, we're gonna hear it. here, you pull on that side.
you got kids?
ah, i know! you're being very cooperative. i got no complaint against you whatever; you got bank insurance?
don't ask me questions. i got connections. you find out who i am, you're cold meat.
what if i take you with me?
they'll shoot you; the fucking cops'll shoot you.  they don't give a damn. in spite of that bank insurance. you see what they did in attica, they shot everybody, the hostages, prisoners, cops, guards, forty-two people they killed, the innocent with the guilty.
anyway, i'm not gonna take you. i'm gonna take one of the girls, a married one with a couple of kids. the cops don't like it in the papers when they kill a mother, especially if she's got young kids.
you're just a nice guy, mr. mulvaney. only don't fuck around with me, you know what i mean?
i told you -- keep away. i don't know what we do now.
they're okay.
i'm not alone.
i got sal.
sal. he's the killer. we're vietnam veterans so killing don't mean anything to us, you understand?
what do you want to know that for?
call me sonny-boy.
one word. you won't find it in the phone book.
call me whatever you want.
i frisk you?
right -- i'm with you, buddy.
sure.  like.  i'm not gonna shoot you.
they're what's keeping me alive. you think you're dealing with an idiot? talk to me then.
oh, no.  women is all we got.
so -- you want me to send one out there.  okay. i'll see what i can do.
he wants one.
alive.
okay.  who's gonna go first?
to show that we're negotiating.
all right.  let's go.
you got these cops outta here. they're comin' in too close.
you want me to give up, huh? look, sal's in back with the girls. anything happens to me - one move - and sal gives it to them. boom boom. how do i know you won't jump me?
armed robbery.
kiss me.
when i'm bein' fucked, i like to be kissed a lot. who the fuck are you tryin' to con me into some deal? you're a city cop, where's the fbi? this is a federal offense, i got kidnapping, armed robbery, they're gonna bury me! you know it, you can't talk for them, you're some flunky pig tryin' to bullshit me. now god damn it, get somebody in charge here to talk to me!
calm down.  look at this, look at him!
they wanna kill me so bad they can taste it!
attica! attica! go ahead! blow off the front of the whole god damn bank!
if it wasn't for you guys they'd kill everybody and say it was me and sal. you tell 'em to put the guns down. i can't stand it.
turn on the tv.
the whole media is out there.  it looks a lot better for us than it did before.
serious, nodding to sal.
what?
yeah? who's this?
hey, sal.  sure.
doing what?
i don't know.  it's where they got the money. i mean, if you want to steal, you go to where they got the money, right?
get a job doing what? you gotta be a member of a union, no union card - no job. to join the union, you gotta get the job, but you don't get the job without the card.
like what? bank teller? what do they get paid - they pay one hundred thirty-five dollars and thirty-seven cents to start. i got a wife and kids. i can't live on that -- you want to live on that? what do you make a week?
wait a minute.  i'm talkin' to you. i'm askin' you a question.
yeah! we're hot entertainment, right? you got me and sal on tv.  we're entertainment you sell, right?
how much you have to pay an entertainer to fill this slot?
okay, newsman. how much you make a week? you're not talkin'. you payin' me? what have you got for me? we're givin' you entertainment.  what are you givin' us?
i don't want to be paid. i'm here with sal and eight other people.  and we're dyin'! they're gonna blow our guts out, man! you're gonna see our brains onna sidewalk! how's that for all you shut-ins and housewives to look at! you gonna help, or you just put it on instead of as the world turns? we're dyin' here! what have you got for me?
oh yeah? give up? you ever been in prison?
then talk about somethin' you fuckin' know about.
why the hell did he do that? what the hell did i do?
okay, sal.  what do we do?
i figure maybe we can get the fbi to make a deal.
maybe we can get outta this thing alive.  get 'em to drop the kidnapping charges.
we'd kill ourselves.
we're not there yet.
you're on the phone!
kill them all now? you fuckin' creep! don't call here again!
you see what we're dealing with? they want me to kill all of you!
wait a minute.  i've been looking at this all wrong.  let's look at it the other way.
look, we gotta get a jet outta here.  outta the country. we gotta get a helicopter. okay, sal? we get a helicopter on the roof to take us to the jet and we fly to the sunny caribbean. algeria. we got to look at the bright side. we got 'em by the balls, we got the hostages, we can get anything we want. they gotta give it to us.
get me moretti.
we're all gonna get outta here. you're all gonna be all right. i'm gonna ask for a helicopter and a jet.  and we're gonna get outta here alive.  you've all been all right with me and as long as it stays that way, then things are gonna be all right - as long as you cooperate.  moretti, i want to talk to you. i'm comin' out.
you realize, sal, that we're gonna get outta the country, so if you wanna talk to somebody, do it now.  you gotta mother or a father? friends? if we gotta be outside the country, where do you wanna go? any country. just name a country.
wyoming.  that's not out of the country -- that's in the united states.  look, i'll be back.
put them down.
it's okay, sal.
he wanted to kill me!
i want a helicopter to get outa here! and a jet to take us to.  . wherever we want to go. outa the country, so no little jets. a big one with a bar and a piano lounge.
i want to see my wife. i want you to bring her down here.
what do you want?
nothin' doin'. i give you one hostage when you bring my wife, and one for the helicopter, one for the jet, and the rest can come home on the jet.
let's say i put a gun to your head and i tell you to kill a cop.  and you did. who'd go to the electric chair.  you or me?
but you shot him.
yeah - but you did it.
yeah, well i don't blame him.
no. look, we're kind of.
yeah, well.  maybe you better talk to one of these others, okay?
where's the air conditioning?
sonny moves toward sal in the conference room. mulvaney follows discreetly behind him.
sal, i'm gonna take a look at the air conditioning.
do you think we can turn it on?
yeah.
it's nothing - it just goes up - it's the safest thing in the world. safer than a car. don't worry about it, sal - it'll be all right.  they're great.
what's that?
they're trying to come through the door!
what the hell you doin' back there?
sal, watch 'em.  i'm goin' out.
what the fuck do you want?
you tryin' to fuck me?
so, what were they doin'? you're tellin' me you had nothin' to do with that back there?
bullshit.  i don't walk to talk to you.
yeah.
you're full of shit.
well, what were you doin' back there?
you know, you're telling me that a helicopter can't land here.
don't fuck with me.
just one more explosion like that and you're gonna see a dead body.
all right.  i got some hungry people in there.  i want to get some pizza.  some stuff like that.
cokes, seven-ups.  also some aspirin.
okay.
okay.  okay.  all right, sal, it's okay. i got everything straightened out.  it's gonna be okay.
look, i talked to him and it's not going to be a helicopter - they can't land on top of the roof - so they're comin' with a big.  limousine bus and they'll take us to the airport - and they're gonna get a jet.  so things are rollin'.  they're movin'.  i also ordered some food.  i got some pizzas for us, all right? i got some things to drink - i got sodas.  i even asked them for aspirins.  i'm doin' what i can.  now i gotta pay for the pizza.  where are the marked bills?
what are you talking about? what do you think i'm doin'? i'm gettin' the ball rollin'. i'm keeping these people happy.  i'm keeping you happy.  i gotta keep the cops cooled out.  i gotta do everything.  i gotta pay for the pizza .  i'm workin' on it, do you know what i mean? i'm workin' on it.  jesus christ! i gotta do it all.  i got all the ideas.  you want me to give you the gun? you want to take it over?
keep the change.
okay - chow!
you eat it first. i don't know if they put something in it.
yeah?
they've got my wife. they're bringing her in.
leon! leon! over here! happy birthday, leon!
leon! happy birthday!
get me moretti!
is he all right? is he all right?
i want to talk to him.
what?
that's all they're interested in - it's a freak show to them. i can't control it, sal - let'em say what they want. forget it. it don't matter.
where's the god-damn jet? they're always flying overhead - going somewhere.
moretti? what the fuck is goin' on?
get the lights back on!
sal - it's the fbi.  i'm goin' back out to talk to him.
what is this? the fbi? jesus, now we're talkin', maybe we can get this thing moving.
first off, get the lights back on and the air conditioning.
aw, jesus.  you been doin' us favors all night!
bullshit!
well, jesus, these hostages are keeping me alive.
at the airport. we get on the plane, check it out, and if it's all okay we'll send them out. except one.
i want to talk to leon.
you got guts. you think if sal and me have cut their throats we're gonna let you out?
it's the fbi. he wants to come in.
jesus, you'd like to kill me, too.
nothin' personal, huh? the man that kills me, i want him to do it because he hates my guts. not because it's a job. okay, let's go.  but you gotta walk in backwards.
nobody give their right name.  it's the fbi!
sal?
wait a minute! what the fuck you tryin' to tell me?
he was talkin' about arrangements.  we were talkin' about the tv.
he was showin' me how the airport bus is comin' in, like that, sal. what's wrong with him?
hey, you okay?
those bastards -- they poisoned the pizza! sal - you didn't eat any pizza!?
you're supposed to balance your sugar diet, right?
hey! is there a doctor over there? get him over here! come on, on the double!
the manager, he's diabetic, he's lookin' bad.
sal - the doctor's coming in.
you go on in.
hello. hello, leon.
how are you doing?
yeah. you said.  i thought you were never getting out?
well.  huh.
oh.  huh.  how you feeling?
well, you know.  moretti told me before that you were drugged up.
that.  huh.  they just shoot you with drugs.
yeah.
so.  that sure is something.
fine, thank you. i'm in trouble. that is.  now i am!
i don't know what i'm gonna do.  you know. boy.  i'm dying.
what are you talking about?
now don't give me that deep shit now. don't start with that shit.
i don't know what i'm doing.
i'm not on the phone to talk to you about that. well, i don't know what to say, leon. when you gimme that.  when you hit me with that shit. i mean, what am i supposed to say?
i told you. that i got a lot of pressures. you said to me that you needed money, and i knew that you needed money! i saw you there lying in the hospital like that.  and i said.  shit, man, i got to get this guy some money.
all right. i know you didn't ask me. you didn't ask me but i did it.
i did it on my own. i did this all on my own. i ain't laying it on anybody. nothing on anybody. i'll tell you something, though, it's about time that i squared away my accounts.  you know. i am squaring away my accounts with life. maybe this whole thing is gonna end, somehow. maybe it'll just end! maybe i'll just close my eyes and the whole fucken thing will be over. that would be all right too! i said.  i thought i would square it away with you.  you know? that i would get you down here and that i would say so long to you.  or, if you wanted.  you know, to take a trip.
i'm getting out of here, man. i'm not going to stay here and i'm not giving up. i mean, huh, they're going to kill me, anyway. so fuck it! but, if i can get out of this.  i am going to get out. and, how i'm going to do it is to get a jet out of here and i'm flying the fuck out.  that's all, leon. if you want to come with me, then you're entitled.  you can come. you're free to do what you want.
i gotta jet coming here and we're gonna try to get the fuck outta this thing. and we're gonna go, man!
that's it.
i know!
who the fuck knows? i think we're gonna go.  we worked it out to algeria. so, i don't know. so i'll go to algeria.
huh.  i don't know. they got howard johnson's there. i don't know why the fuck i'm going there for.
i know that. i'm warped.  i'm warped!
what am i supposed to do?
denmark? sweden?
sal wanted to go to wyoming. i told him it wasn't a country. we gotta get outta the country! to hell with a guy who doesn't know where wyoming is. okay. can you imagine what kind of a shape i'm in?
sal? yeah.  sal is with me.
i know i am. i know!
he ain't going out. and if i go out he's just gonna kill the people. there's a lot of lives that i'm responsible for.  that's all. so, i can't do anything. i got myself into this mess and i'll get myself out of it.  the best way i know how! one of the ways is not giving up. i'm telling ya!
what?
how did they think that? what are they.  crazy? what do you mean. that's bullshit, leon. they're giving you a fucken story.
oh.  they're fucken crazy. that's a snow job. don't listen to that shit!
shit.
all right. then what do you want me to say?
where are they now? just tell me.  are they on the phone now?
that's great. just terrific. you talk to me with them on the phone, right? that is really smart. and, you don't tell me?
you don't have a choice?
look.  who's on the phone?
who's on the phone, now? what do you mean.  throw it on you? you knew it, right?
all right, enough! who the fuck is on the phone.  anyway? is that you moretti? you on the phone? will somebody talk to me?
are they on the phone still?
all right! he didn't do it. all right? now.  would you get the fuck off the phone? i'll bet that really changed them, huh? anyway, leon.  did i do it for you?
that's good then. you've found something.
do you still want the operation?
well, then.
i don't know what to say to ya! i guess i just wanted to say i'll see ya.  or whatever.
right. see you sometime.
yeah.  i'll write a song. ha, ha. i don't know. life is funny!
you cut off incoming, gimme a line. i want to talk to my wife, i want to say goodbye to my kids. here i am, i could call, and they'd put anybody on the phone, the pope, an astronaut, the wisest of the wise and who do i have to call? heidi?
what about the kids?
heidi, i'm dying.
heidi, for christ sake, shut up! will you shut your fucking mouth and listen?!
don't call yourself fat.
heidi - why didn't you come down here?
they're not after you, they're after me.
anything.  what's wrong? is he gonna die?
you know more than the doctor? you're not okay, look at you. come on.  . let's get him out.
hey! i'm tryin' to help you.
you tell me. is he endangering his health, because if you tell me he is, i'll get him out.
oh, jesus! you want to be a martyr or a hero or what?
here, my man. whattayou get for a house call?
no, no! i want a top specialist for my friend, i expect to pay top money.
my kids.  kimmy and jimmy.
i'll never see them again, mister mulvaney.
they're like any others but they're special to me. you got kids? you told me; you got two.
you like me?
no you don't.
hey, sal.  how you doin'?
you know, i don't know him very well - but he's not gay.  and he's not going back to prison.  one time when he was in prison, they gang- banged him; 13 years old and eight guys gave it to him.  so sal isn't goin' back to prison, no way.
you know.  i like you people.  i really do.
you know - i had a job once. i used to work in a bank. i had been training.  i used to have a boss.  mr. don frio.  he wore a toupee.  i wonder if you'd hire me if i came in here and asked you for a job.
yeah.
i don't think so.
i told you -- they're sending a jet. it's all worked out.
what's so funny?
it's my mother. who needs this shit?
what do you want here, ma? you could of watched it on tv.
mom - i got it all worked out; it's over. the best thing is you go home. watch it on tv.
you did what? who did you talk to? what for?
oh my god, mother!
don't talk to them anymore. sal and me are getting a jet, we're going to algeria - i'll write you from there.
we can't stay here.
mom - they're sending a bus to take us to the airport. you understand? if you're here - they're not gonna send it. they'll think i'm gonna come out with you.
for god's sake don't start in on heidi again.
mom. mom. there are some things a mother shouldn't say in front of her son.
she doesn't have anything to do with it! you understand that? mother? this is me!
not now, mom, please.
i can't, mom. if i come out sal will kill them.
what the hell for? twenty-five years in the pen?
maybe! aw christ, what dreams you live on! maybe what?
i'm a fuckup and an outcast. there isn't one single person in my life i haven't hurt through my love. you understand that? i'm the most dangerous person in the world, because if i love you, watch out, you're gonna get fucked, fucked over and fucked out!
did pop come down?
he's right. you shoulda done what he did. go home. don't talk to the fbi anymore.
mister mulvaney?
are you a lawyer?
i want to dictate my will. i need a notary?
being of sound mind and body, and all that shit.
to my darling wife leon whom i love as no other man has loved another man in all eternity, i leave $2,700 from my $10,000 life insurance policy, to be used for your sex change operation. if there is money left over it is to go to you on the first anniversary of my death, at my grave. i expect you to be a real woman then, and your life full of happiness and joy. to my sweet wife, heidi, five thousand from the same policy. you are the only woman i have ever loved, and i re-pledge my love to you in this sad moment, and to little kimmy and jimmy. i hope you remember me, jimmy. you are the little man of the family now, and will have to look after them for me. to my mother i ask forgiveness. you don't understand the things i did and said, but i'm me, and i'm different. i leave you, the rest of the policy and my stamp collection. i want a military funeral and am entitled to one free of charge. life and love are not easy and we have to bend a lot. i hope you find the places and the people to make you all happy as i could not. god bless you and watch over you, as i shall, until we are joined in the hereafter, sweet leon, my heidi, dearest kimmy and jimmy, and my mother. sonny.  here i'll spell the last name.
type that up and i'll sign it.
okay. get away from it.
these seats come out?
come on, what's under this?
yes, i would.
okay.
i don't want him.
gimme the black guy.
come on, nobody's gonna get hurt. if they were gonna shoot, they'd shoot now.
you can't allow! i'm running this thing, what gives you the idea you can say shit? come on. i'll pay you. whatta you want? two hundred? a thousand?
don't look at him. i'm running this.
you'll be okay.
i want him.
what do you think you're dealing with, an idiot!
so long, copper.
hey, let's get ready!
okay, okay, okay! what a bunch of cold fish. it's an adventure! everybody's gonna remember you the rest of your lives, the day you got held up and kidnapped.  hey!
you got bank americard?
listen, i owe a couple hundred dollars! i don't wanta leave owing anybody anything! a clean slate, a new leaf.
i paying off. here. two hundred should do it.
just give me a receipt. hey, sal, you okay?
all right.
yeah - it looks real official.
hold it for me?
get away from the car!
okay - you got your one.
fuck! we did it!
i'll be a son of a bitch -- we're all okay! hey, man! honk the horn. let's go!
murphy, can you see what they're doing?
there it is, sal. sal?
oh, jesus! hey. how about food? i forgot to ask to have food on board.
okay. which one goes?
i ain't eaten all day. i just realized it.
what do you think, sal? you ready to go?
let's move it, goddamn it.
hey!
goodbye! you were terrific! mouth! you're beautiful! see you!