thank you, mister flanagan - one of this parish's chief patrons, who donated the stained-glass likeness of our lady of gleeful misery that welcomes you as you enter the church every sunday.
thank you, thank you. so what are we talking about here. well, for example.
see? isn't this better? how could you not feel just great walking into a church and seeing this behind the priest - a positive reinforcement that whatever we do, god thinks is 'a~kay'. i love this thing, it's so.
c'mon people. we're not here to talk about that. it's an issue we stand firm on - euthanasia is a big no-no, just like abortion. murder's murder. why won't you people accept that? besides, we're here to talk about this little guy - your friend and mine.  the happy jesus. can't you just see it on chains around people's necks, and as the new background in avant garde, mtv videos?
well? doesn't it pop?
you see? now this one's got vision!
exactly! and that's what we're looking to do - shake these people up a bit, get them motivated. that's the whole point of the campaign. mass attendance is at an all-time low in this country. and it's not like we're losing them to the protestants or baptists - people aren't practicing at any denomination these days. if we can sell them some show - let 'em know the catholic church has some panache, we can win them back -even get some new ones. fill them pews, people - that's the key. and cross-promoting - like with the cereal tie-in grabs the little ones as well. hook 'em while they're young.
oh - if only we had their numbers. but we are aiming for the same demographic, even though mine is the soulsaving biz. and if i have to play a bit of the devil to bring them closer to the lord, then i'll wear the cloven hooves and carry the pitch fork.
you'd like to help out in some way?
cute.
then these loonies will show up and go nuts, thus endangering the lives of all assembled, including the governor, the press, me, the leaders of the council of churches. heck, let's not stop there, maybe even god himself.
the catholic church does not make mistakes.
and takeoff my goddamn hat!!!
i'd also like to acknowledge this great state's governor, elizabeth dalton, for coming out an helping us ring in the first hundred years of this little parish true. she's a protestant - but we won't hold that against her.