i don't -
and that concludes today's show. this is where you go around and collect the money.
you guys know my roommate, rita.
yeah.
oh, the whole family loved him. of course, they loved the last guy i went out with, and he strung me along for three years and dumped me.
you shouldn't drink.
and, you know, every guy i ever broke up with, the minute it was over, i could tell you what went wrong, how it went wrong, why it had to go wrong.  but when i'm in it.  lost. i'm like a love coroner. bring me the corpse, i'11 tell you what killed it. but how to prevent it? lost.
oh. i -- i heard ray yelling. 1 didn't mean to --
are you sure about this?
why do it?
cream rinse?
so?
dynamite is dangerous.
he did that at my parents' house.
he is so wound up. he bought all new clothes for this.
he sang to her and they fell in love?
right.
what do you want?!
don't defend that horse's ass to me.
ha!
i've got news for you-- i never intended to marry him.
well, for one thing, he's a bad lay.
i mean bad.
really?
oh my god.
oh my god.
i kissed my boyfriend's brother on television!
leave. go.
go!
what are we doing?
really?
me too. i mean i'm going out with ray and i'm.  thinking about you.
oh god, this is so weird.
um, i'd like to get a new phone number, please.  because i'm getting calls from every nut case in america.  right, unlisted.  sure.
he didn't say it. his stepfather said it.
i think he's great. he just makes me feel.  oh, i'm really gonna get hurt, this time - hello .
sign here, please.
by the x.
what would i actually have to do to get you to sign this?
by the x. that's were two lines cross -- forming an x.
what are you doing?
yeah, well.
you should see the one we wear when it rains.
the what?
oh yeah.
i'm stunned.
that's lucky.
i've heard so much about you.
why?
um.
i know, but even if they go away, everybody in america knows what we're doing because.  they went away.
i know, i .
i really like you too.
 yeah, then, but.
ed.  i think we should stop seeing each other.
i can't take it anymore.
i have no privacy. even now! i'm crying and i can't stop and they won't go away. and now it's going to be another month!
everybody hates me!
look at this.
page three of the post.
a poll. "is shari good enough for ed?" seventy-one per cent said "no." they hate me!
twenty-nine.
there's a list.
ed?
i tried to tell you over the phone -- my parents went to atlantic city.
so my little brother's staying here. i'm sleeping with rita.
i'm sorry.
where?
i feel like a criminal or, like we're cheating on someone.
okay.
are you all right?
yeah.  i saw that girl come on to you at the tv show.
yeah?
get them away from me.
no. it's your fault.
no.  could you?
the what?
what?
everybody's someone.
i don't want to be famous for getting caught with my shirt off. if i'm going to be famous --
this is going right up your ass.
look.  maybe we just better put us on hold until this is over.
1 bailed. i bailed on you.
it's what i do. i yell "geronimo" and jump out of a relationship.
you weren't able to make me feel safe or secure -- no easy job for any man, i admit -- and my problem is, if i think i'm losing, i pull myself out of the game. i bail. see? i told you, i'm the love coroner.
my truck overheated, so i opened the hood and my hair got caught in the fan belt. so i had to get a haircut.
what do we have to do?
so act now. here's ed's home phone number.