oh shit.
don't antagonize her, you guys.
can't you give 'em a break?
but, mom!
shut up, dork.
do you get off on humiliating me?
i'm just trying to have fun. don't you remember what it's like to grow up here?
you are so over protective.
you need to start trusting me.
why do you hate him so much?
maybe i want to stay. i could get pregnant by nineteen. then divorce with a couple of kids i can't handle. slap on a badge and be a trailer trash sheriff.
maybe you're not gay after all.
you can't take your eyes off his butt.
relax, mom. he's hot for an old guy. i can admit it. why can't you?
ladies first.
woo-hoo!
haven't you had enough of that?
i don't know. i want to do something with my life, bret. help people. maybe med school is still an option.
thanks, mom.
slow down.
i do!
i don't feel.
i don't want to lose my virginity in the front seat of a monster truck.
no.  i guess.  i'm just not ready.
then call them! have a menage a trois!
please, bret.  please don't.
i told you to back off!
screw you, bret. i'm going home.
i can't believe my mom was right about you. do you know how embarrassing that is?
no.
don't worry about it.
nothing.
nothing happened, alright!
spider.  mike.  spider.
where are you going?
no shit!
use my stun g.
there aren't enough wine coolers in the world to calm me down!
outside? you want to go outside?
you just said giant spider on the air.
he was out at the dunes.
you dork!
there's someone inside!
mom!
they're gonna come in after us?
you're not really going to get him bigger pants are you?
i didn't know you wore cologne.
can i get this?
they're inside!
i can't stay in here!
what are they doing?
here!
they're coming through the wall!
don't waste your bullets.
aren't the spiders in there?
what are they?
ewww.  what's that smell?
what does that mean?
her breathing is shallow. she's going into arrest.
bret!
hurry!
oh shit.
hurry!
hurry, mom!
yo, mom!
earthquake!