by any chance are you sissy hankshaw?
my goodness. why didn't you telephone? someone would have driven into mottburg to pick you up. i'm miss adrian. from the ranch. the countess wrote that i should expect you. get in, won't you? you must be exhausted. gloria, assist miss hankshaw with her luggage.
little twit. you really ought to have phoned. we were just in mottburg escorting some guests to the afternoon train. more guests leaving ahead of schedule. three checked out today. they decided to transfer to elizabeth arden's maine chance spa in phoenix, arizona. it costs two hundred and fifty dollars a week less at the rubber rose, so why are our guests leaving and going to elizabeth arden's?
i'll tell you why, it's that plague of cowgirls. they've gradually infiltrated every sector of our program. the one named debbie considers herself an expert on exercising and diet. with bonanza jellybean's permission and against my explicit orders, she's been coercing the guests into trying something called kundalini yoga. do you know what that is? it's trying to mentally force a serpent of fire to crawl up your spinal column. miss hankshaw, our guests can't comprehend kundalini yoga, let alone do it. yesterday, she ordered a new cookbook by a tibetan negro, entitled third eye in the kitchen: himalayan soul food. god knows what that will be like. the little barbarians are destroying everything that i've built, mocking all that the company stands for. and there's a new one, one they call del ruby. she has the good will of a scorpion. i've considered it prudent to avoid a confrontation that might further upset the guests. but now that the season is practically over -- we operate april through september -- and the countess is finally coming.
we have a team of fifteen hair experts from all over the world.
and fanny flab flies off in this room at the rate of six hundred and seventy-five pounds a day.  that's a lot of salted ham, sissy.
our special guest miss sissy hankshaw is with us.
o merciful jesus! they're murdering the guests!
where are the guests?
not now, you fool, not now. those crazed bitches have led innocent women out and are slaughtering them at this moment. we'll all be killed. oh! ohhh!
the cattle? they're killing the cows? all of them?
how dare you slaughter the countess's cattle! what is a ranch without cows?
oh heavens! i don't want to hear what bonanza jellybean has been telling you girls.  come on sissy. i'll show you to your quarters.
you will all be rounded up and sent to prison if you take this any farther! this is not your ranch!!!!
go to your bunkhouse and remain there!