got a light?
how about a match?
you really are incredibly stupid, aren't you? i like that in a man.
you sound so sure of yourself.
let me buy you a drink, mr. uh.
thirsty. what about that drink?
brain surgeon?
oooo.  and i bet you have a big gun.
if i can't buy you a drink.  . let me buy you one of those.
not me.
two dogs. hot.
only when i'm in heat.
where ya going?
that's okay. you're doing just fine.
i waited. you never came back.
thanks.
it's miraculous what a real woman can do.  with a bobbie pin.
cigarette?
yes, i know. i like things that are bad for me. so.  i hear you go both ways.
no, i mean.  you're a cop and a lawyer.
lola cain.
so lovely to meet you, laura.
i think i should warn you, mr. ravine.  i'm not wearing any underwear.
i've run across some.  papers.  and i thought you might be able to tell me what they are. you see, i'm not very experienced when it comes to.  papers.
no.  they're at home. i thought you might stop by.
don't they ever give you a night off?
why don't we meet tomorrow evening then?
i'll let you know where.
nothing a good interior decorator couldn't fix.
take care of this for me, will ya?
thanks.
is it? i never know. my body heat runs about twenty degrees above normal.
i doubt we'll find one. even the wind chimes on my porch aren't moving much these days. they keep thudding softly, like dairy cows bumping butts in the night. i go out there expecting to find a cool breeze.  but it's just a lot of hot air.
a lot of them have tried that seat. you're the first one's lasted this long.
don't. it's broken.
no. i thought you might come over.
i brought my own car.
i know it sounds silly, but would you leave first.  wait in your car? i come here a lot and i wouldn't want those men to think i'm "easy".  a slut who'll jump into bed with anyone at the drop of a hat. but if you leave first.
now leave me alone!
i have the clapper.
my wind chimes.
well well.  i guess you have been around. i'm impressed.
papers. right.
yes. they're so confusing to me. can you tell me what they are?
no. you keep them.  as a memento of our time together.
i'm so grateful. how can i ever repay you for all you've done?
isn't there some other way?
no, i mean, isn't there something else you want? something i could give you?
how fast was i going, officer?
suppose you pull me over and frisk me?
suppose i find a cop with a bigger nightstick?
suppose you handcuff me to the bed?
you're not so tough. last chance.
what's the matter? don't you want me? it's the way i look, isn't it?
i knew you'd come back.
that's not what you came back for.
don't.  stop.
oh ned.  please.  don't.  stop.
that takes care of foreplay.
iron butterfly. in-a-gadda-da-vida.
it tells the sad story of a woman who is rejected by her lover after a brief, but torrid, affair.  so she stalks him with an ice pick and stabs him with it more than a thousand times.
yes.  it was. i should check on my homeowners insurance.
what are you saying, ned? that you're rejecting me, your lover, after a brief, but torrid, affair?!
i want to see you, ned.
who's frank?
i had to see you, ned. i need to feel your arms around me! i wanna suck your toes til the nails pop off!
it doesn't matter. she'll know all about us soon anyway. i want you! in my bed.  in my arms.  in meeeeeee!
i got us tickets to see iron butterfly!
why are you running from me? didn't it mean anything to you?.  buffing my buns with carnuba wax? come on, neddy-poo. doesn't mr. pokey want to go exploring?
like some ice for your drink?
does your wife know you're.  "working" late? i certainly hope so, mr. ravine.
yes.
yes!
yes! cappelini pomodoro!
pasta with tomato sauce. whatsa matta? you don't like italian?
i thought he might like to get out, so i took him to the amusement park.
you haven't seen the last of me, ned.
i told you.
watching the murder from her car. there is a.  flash! then another! and another! we are.
actually.  it's smith. lola smith. i sell vacuum cleaners, mr. ravine. the big powerful kind that suck up everything in sight. i was just telling your wife, if she wants to get rid of all her dirt, she has to be willing to pay the price.
let me know what you decide, mrs. ravine. i'm sure we can work out a convenient "payment" plan. a pleasure meeting you.  ned.
who is it?
why didn't you say so?
would you like a drink?
then let's get to the point!
so what's your problem, tough guy?
a vacation! she doesn't deserve a vacation! she's a brat! a bad girl! she always was and always will be!
i know everything!
she's your wife!
she's my sister!
she's your wife!
she's my sister!
she's your wife.  and my sister!
she was spoiled rotten! she stole everything i ever had. everything! including him.
dwayne. the boy's gym teacher. he was older. so mature.  so strong. he smelled like dirty sweat socks and old basketballs. and he was all mine. for awhile. but lana wasn't satisfied with her own things. she had to have mine too. she took it all.  my makeup, my sweaters, my shoes, my underwear.
we were identical twins.
not anymore. one day i caught her stealing my lavender eye shadow and she smashed my face in with a shovel. i had fifty-three operations. when the doctors were finished with me.  i looked like this! i'm ugly. ugly!
don't lie to me.
i look in the mirror. i can see!
tell that to dwayne. when he saw my face, he left me for her.  because she looked more like me than i did! first she stole my looks.  then she stole the only man who ever loved me!
but i found a way to get even. the best revenge possible. destroy her marriage!
you been hangin' out with dick tracy, haven't ya?
it doesn't matter. i'm blackmailing her for everything she's worth. she murdered that greasy auto mechanic. i saw her do it.
kelbo! his name was kelbo?
dwayne's name was kelbo. he had a son. frankie kelbo.
what're you gonna do, ned? blow me away?