korben dallas! here he is the most hated man in the universe. the one and only winner of the gemini croquette contest! ladies, start melting 'cause the boy's hot! hot! hot! the boy is perfect.  . the right size, right build, right hair. right on! say something-to those 50 billion pair of ears out there d-man!
does it get any better or what!
quiver ladies, he's gonna set the world on fire right here from 5 to 7! you'll know everything there is to know about the d-man. his dreams, his desires, his most intimate of intimates. and from what i'm looking at intimate is the stud muffin's middle name. so tell me my main man.  you nervous in the service?
freeze those knees, my chickadees, 'cause korben is on the case with a major face.
start drooling, ladies! my man here is a sharp-tongued sire who's gonna stroke your every desire.
yesterday's unknown will be tomorrow's prince of fhloston paradise, the hotel of a thousand and one follies, home of luxury and beauty. a magic fountain flowing with non-stop wine, women and bootchie koochie koo.
beware out there puppy dogs my man is on the prowl. owwww!
and start licking your stamps little girls, this guy's gonna have you writing home to momma! tomorrow from 5 to 7, i'll be your voice, your tongue and i'll be hot on the tail of the sexiest man of the year.  d-man.  your man.  my man.
korben sweetheart do me a favor i know this is probably the biggest thing that ever happened to you in your inconsequential life. but i've got a show to do here and it's got to pop. so tomorrow, when we're on air, give me a hand.  try to make believe you have more than a one word vocabulary. ok pal?
crystal.
i don't want an individual position, i want all positions!
now you're talking!
no!! i swear to god! i've never been this sincere with a human before!
my main man! please don't leave me here alone. my head's killing me and my adoring fans are gonna tear me apart! get me outta here!
oh, yes! do that! you treat me right, man. tell me all about yourself, your roots, your personal life, your childhood dreams.
you got brothers and sisters? what about your dad? tell me about your dad! what was he like? physically? big, i suppose?
i didn't have a dad.  never saw him.  never even heard him. 50 billion people listen to me every day.  and he doesn't hear me.
hey stud we gotta.
korben my man what's happening here? who's the chick? what's the gig? we free forming here? getting funky with the monkey? can i get in on this?
we have just walked into what is probably the most beautiful concert hall in the universe. totally awesome! magnificent paintings on the ceiling. i don't know who painted them, but he must have busted his balls! i see a row of former ministers, more sinister than minister! a few generals practicing how to sleep. and there's baby ray, star of stage and screen, drowning in a sea of nymphets. he's not gonna get much out of this concert, he's stone-deaf!
and over there is roy von bacon, the king of laserball and the best paid player in the league. . and over there is the emperor kodar japhet whose daughter aachen is still at the bar. "i love to sing, too, but in the shower", she recently confessed to me. she will no doubt prove to be as generous tonight as she always is.
ladies and gentlemen, i think we're being.  attacked. the place is crawling with warriors.
they're hideous. they've got a crest on the head, the eyes of a toad and fingers all over their hands. totally hideous!
don't you think we'd better be going?
korben man.  these dudes are going to waste us if we don't do what they say.
got it.
this is amazing! korben, korben dallas, the winner of the gemini croquette contest just killed three warriors like he was swatting flies.
it's roy von bacon, the lions center forward joining in the battle.
get off my back!
and our man korben has literally knocked out the opposition with an amazing 90 foot pitch.
he's on vacation.
korben man.  what the hell is this?
and, uh, what're these numbers clicking by?
you're just saying that to scare me! right? if it was a bomb, an alarm would've gone off. there's bomb detectors in all these hotels!
maybe we oughta be going, what do you think?
like d-man, i hate to bother you but uh, like, we're down to 2 minutes here.
hey! what are you doing? the bomb!
like korben, can i have 30 seconds of your time here?
are you nuts, father? that hurts! i can't feel my teeth.
you know how to fly this thing?
i don't even know what i'm looking for!
dear listeners, your favorite dj is alive and kicking. it's seven o'clock and time for the news. tune in tomorrow for another adventure.
the best show i ever did!
what is this some kinda game? like chess?
i'm looking, i'm looking.
we'll never make it.
it.  it moved! korben! korben!
nothing! swear to god, i didn't do nothing!
i was like this.  with my hands here and.  i said, "we'll never make it!" that's all!
yeah.  then i sighed.  like this.
i don't have a light. i stopped smoking last week! if we'd come a bit sooner.
this guy is a killer with the babes. i knew it from the moment i laid eyes on him.