one minute. this is the beginning. we're at ground zero. maybe you should say a few words, to mark the occasion.
it's getting exciting now.
look what we've accomplised. thirty seconds.
two, equal parts gasoline and diet cola. three, dissolve kitty-litter in gasoline until the mixture is thick.
tyler durden.
you know why they have oxygen masks on planes?
oxygen gets you high. in a catastrophic emergency, we're taking giant, panicked breaths.
suddenly, we become euphoic and docile. we accept our fate.
emergency water landing, 600 miles per hour. blank faces -- calm as hindu cows.
what do you want me to do?
why? so you can say, "oh, that's what you do." -- and be a smug little shit about it?
you have a kind of sick desperation in your laugh.
open it.
soap -- the yardstick of civilization. i make and sell soap.
if you were to add nitric acid to the soap-making process, one would get nitroglycerin. with enough soap, one could blow up the world, if one were so inclined.
the spork. i get it. you're very clever.
how's that working out for you?
being clever.
keep it up, then. keep it right up.
 as i squeeze past, do i give you the ass or the crotch?
we are defined by the choices we make.
this is how we fill up our lives.
and, now it's gone.
could be worse. a woman could cut off your penis while you're asleep and toss it out the window of a moving car.
i don't know, maybe i'm wrong. maybe it's a terrible tragedy.
i mean, you did lose a lot of nice, neat little shit. the trendy paper lamps, the euro-trash shelving unit, am i right?
but maybe, just maybe, you've been delivered.
delivered from armchairs in obscure green stripe patterns.
delivered from bullshit colors like "cobalt," "ebony," and "fuchsia."
oh, yeah, you gotta start making the list.
the "now i get to go out and buy the exact same stuff all over again" list. that list.
this time maybe get a widescreen tv. you'll be occupied for weeks.
the things you own, they end up owning you.
do what you like.
a hotel?
so, you called me up, because you just wanted to have a drink before you.  go find a hotel?
we're on our third pitcher of beer. just ask me.
you called me so you could have a place to stay.
why don't you cut the shit and ask if you can stay at my place?
is it a problem for you to ask?
yes, you can.
you're welcome. but, i want you to do me one favor.
i want you to hit me as hard as you can.
i want you to hit me as hard as you can.
they're called "cigarette burns."
why would anyone want this shitty job?
-- like splicing single frames from adult movies into family films.
one-forty-eighth of a second. that's how long it's up there.
a nice, big cock.
don't watch. i can't if you watch.
 oh, yeah. oh, yeah.
go ahead. say it.
i don't know, either. i want to find out. i've never been hit, have you?
i don't want to die without any scars. how much can you really know about yourself if you've never been in a fight? come on.  you're the only person i've ever asked.
why not you? i'm letting you go first. do it.
alright, go crazy. let 'er rip.
surprise me.
like hell. that counted.
how do you feel?
but a good strange.
we've crossed the threshold. you want to call it off?
the fight.
this fight, pussy.
if you could fight anyone.  one on one, whoever you wanted, who would you fight?
anyone.
my dad. no question.
he was setting up franchises. my father never went to college, so it was really important that i go.
after i graduated, i called him long distance and asked, "now what?" he said, "get a job." when i turned twenty-five, i called him and asked, "now what?" he said, "i don't know. get married."
a generation of men raised by women. i'm wondering if another woman is the answer we really need.
what car?
hum.
oh, a new riot control grenade.  ". the successful combination of concussive, 3000 foot-candle flash- blasts and simultaneous high-velocity disbursement of. blah, blah, blah"
"i get cancer, and i kill joe."
soldier of fortune. business week. new republic.
welcome to fight club.
the first rule of fight club is -- you don't talk about fight club. the second rule of fight club is -- you don't talk about fight club. the third rule of fight club is -- when someone says "stop" or goes limp, the fight is over. fourth rule is -- only two guys to a fight. fifth rule -- one fight at a time. sixth rule -- no shirts, no shoes. seventh rule -- fights go on as long as they have to. and the eighth and final rule -- if this is your first night at fight club, you have to fight.
alive or dead?
hemingway. you?
self-improvement is masturbation. self-destruction is the answer.
the trick is not to care.
cool.
he fell down some stairs.
any historical figure.
good answer.
abe lincoln. big reach. skinny guys fight till they're burger.
remember, even the mona lisa's falling apart.
she's a piece of work. get this -- i come in here last night, the phone's off the hook.
unbelievable, huh?
i mean, this girl.  uh, you're not into her or anything.  ?
you're sure?
good. this chick was up on the table with her legs in the stirrups before the doctor even walked in the room. the things that she said.  i've never heard a woman talk like that.
you're okay with this?
she is a wild, twisted bitch. stay away from that one.
hey.  don't knock librarians.
she needs an exorcist. this isn't love. this is sport-fucking.
listen.  do me a favor.  sit here a minute.
you've gotta understand something about me. i have a little rule, okay? don't ever talk to her about me. ever. i can't stand that kind of shit.
if you ever say anything about me or about what happens here in this house, to her or anyone -- i will find out. and you'll never see me again. promise me.
promise you won't.
promise?
that was three times you promised.
what are you doing?
you want to finish her off?
tell him.
"the liberator who destroyed my property has re-aligned my paradigm of perception."
"i reject the basic assumptions of civilization, including material possession."
could be worse. you could be cursed with the three terrible karmas. you could be beautiful, rich and famous.
get rid of her.
don't mention me.
nice work.
to make soap, first we have to render fat.
the best fat for making soap -- because the salt balance is just right -- comes form human bodies.
a liposuction clinic.
paydirt. from society's richest asses and thighs.
as the fat renders, the tallow floats to the surface. remember the crap they taught you in boy scouts.
this clear layer in glycerin. we'll mix it back in when we make the soap.
lye -- the crucial ingredient. ancient peoples found their clothes got cleaner if they washed them at a certain spot in the river. why? because, human sacrifices were once made on the hills above this river. year after year, bodies burnt. rain feel. water seeped through the wood ashes to become lye. the lye combined with the melted fat of the bodies, till a thick white soapy discharge crept into the river.
the first soap was made from the ashes of heroes. like the first monkeys shot into space.
without sacrifice, without death, we would have nothing.
this is a chemical burn. it will hurt more than you've ever been burned and you will have a scar.
look at your hand.
come back to the pain. don't shut this out.
stop it. this is your pain -- your burning hand. it's right here. look at it.
don't deal with this the way those dead people do. deal with it the way a living person does.
no, what you're feeling is premature enlightenment.
this is the greatest moment of your life and you're off somewhere, missing it.
shut up. our fathers were our models for god. and, if our fathers bailed, what does that tell us about god?
listen to me. you have to consider the possibility that god doesn't like you, he never wanted you. in all probability, he hates you. this is not the worst thing that can happen.
we don't need him.
fuck damnation. fuck redemption. we are god's unwanted children, with no special place and no special attention, and so be it.
you can go to the sink and run water over your hand. look at me. or you can use vinegar to neutralize the burn, but first you have to give up. first, you have to know that someday, you are going to die. until you know that, you will be useless.
congratulations. you're a step closer to hitting bottom.
no thanks, i quit.
yeah. where you headed?
nothing. do what you like.
fucking sweet.
good for you.
i look around.  i look around and see a lot of new faces.
shut up! which means a lot of you have been breaking the first two rules of fight club.
i see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who have ever lived -- an entire generation pumping gas and waiting tables; or they're slaves with white collars.
we are the quiet young men who listen until it's time to decide.
who are you?
tyler durden.
we have a deal worked out with irvine.
there is no money.
it's free to all.
yes, it is.
you're welcome to join our club.
you and your friend.
no, i'm sorry, i didn't hear you.
we really need to use this place.
that's it.  that's good. get it all out. you'll feel better.
yes, i am shit and crazy, to you and this whole fucking world.
you don't know where i've been.
we need this place. we need it. please let us keep it, please.
pleeeeeease!
we need some towels, lou. we need replacement light bulbs.
thank you. thank you, sir.
this week, each of you has a homework assignment. you're going to go out and start a fight with a total stranger.  you're going to start a fight.  and you're going to lose.
i heard. local 15, monday nights.
newcastle? did you start that one?
let me have that a minute.
homework assignment.
human sacrifice.
give me your wallet.
raymond k. hessel. 1320 se benning, apartment a. a small, cramped basement apartment.
they give basement apartments letters instead of numbers. raymond, you're going to die.
is this a picture of mom and dad?
your mom and dad will have to call kindly doctor so-and-so to dig up your dental records, because there won't be much left of your face.
an expired community college student id card. what did you used to study, raymond k. hessel?
"stuff." were the mid-terms hard?
i asked you what you studied.
why?
what did you want to be, raymond k. hessel?
the question, raymond, was "what did you want to be?"
animals.
stuff. that means you have to get more schooling.
would you rather be dead?
i'm keeping your license. i know where you live. i'm going to check on you. if you aren't back in school and on your way to being a veterinarian in six weeks, you will be dead. get the hell out of here.
imagine how he feels.
tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of raymond k. hessell's life.
his breakfast will taste better than any meal he has ever eaten.
 you are not how much money you have in the bank. you are not the shoes you wear.
you are not the contents of your wallet.
hey.
go on in. we're celebrating.
wrap it around the top of his hackie- sack.
you're not going to continue your "rigorous investigation." you will publicly state that there is no underground group. or -- imagine, the rest of your life with your scrotum flapping empty.
we'll send one to the new york times and one to the los angeles times. press release style. your nuts will be bicoastal. understood? the people you're after are everyone you depend on.
where did you go, psycho-boy?
no.  after you.
something on your mind?
what should i have told you?
fight club was the beginning. now it's out of the basements and there's a name for it -- project mayhem.
is this a needlepoint club? is it about you and me?
what do you want? a statement of purpose.  ?
should i e-mail you? should i put this on your "action item list?"
what do you want to know about project mayhem?
this does not belong to us. we are not the leaders. we are not special.
we are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. we are all part of the same compost heap.
you choose your level of involvement. i won't make decisions for you.
you're asking questions that don't have answers. you know just as much about project mayhem as anybody else.
what will you wish you'd done before you died?
and you?
if you died right now, how would you feel about your life?
i want to hear the truth.
why do you think i blew up your condo?
hitting bottom isn't a weekend retreat! it's not a seminar! you have to forget everything you know, everything you think you know -- about life, about friendship, about you and me.
we just had a near-life experience.
in the world i see -- you're stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of rockefeller center. you will wear leather clothes that last you the rest of your life. you will climb the wrist- thick kudzu vines that wrap the sears tower. you will see tiny figures pounding corn and laying-strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of the ruins of a superhighway.
feel better, champ.
you're not talking about me, are you?
what are you talking about?
this conversation.
 is over.
you're too young. sorry.
if the applicant is young, we tell him he's too young. old, too old. fat, too fat.
if the applicant waits at the door for three days without food, shelter or encouragement, then he can enter and begin training.
look, friend, i'm sorry for the misunderstanding. it's not the end of the world. just go away. you're trespassing and i will call the police. nothing personal.
you have two black shirts? two pair black trousers? one pair black boots? two pair black socks? one black coat? three hundred dollars personal burial money? go inside.
you're too old. sorry. and, you're too fat. nice seeing you.
a monkey, ready to be shot into space. a space monkey, ready to sacrifice himself for project mayhem.
four in milwaukee.
and, we're definitely filling a void in the rural south.
you broke your promise. you talked to her about me.
why did you do that?
why do people think anything?
people think that you're me, because you and i happen to share the same body.
is this really news to you?
sometimes i control it, and you imagine yourself watching me.
and, sometimes you control it.
you can see me and hear me, but no one else can.
but, when you fall asleep, i do things without you.
i go places without you. get things done.
there! happy? i asked for one thing from you.  one simple promise. now look what you've done!
we're going to have to do something about marla.
it's okay. we okay.  a little codependent, sure, but.
you never talked to me in front of anyone else.
what about them? they're lunatics.
the house is rented in your name.
night jobs -- while you were sleeping.
what about marla?
um, well.  technically, no.
could be worse.
you could be standing under 37 stories of steel and concrete with a 150 gallons of nitroglycerin strapped to the support.  oh, maybe it couldn't be.
what a ridiculous thing to say.
go through with this? what are you going to do?
stop me?
to let this happen!
your sentences! they're our sentences. get your mind around that.
what are you doing running through the streets in your underpants? we both use that body.
the buildings were evacuated thirty minutes ago. everything's proceeding exactly as planned.
maybe. maybe a couple of guys with shaved heads couldn't synchronize their watches. good riddance.
i wouldn't be doing that. unless you know which wires, in what order.
or.  maybe i knew you'd know, so i spent the whole day thinking about the wrong ones.
this is not about martyrdom.
green? did you say green?
don't pull the green wire. pull anything but the green wire.
i'm serious. that's the wrong one.
hear that? marla's here. just in the nick of time, eh?
see for yourself.
i've got everything. the bombs. the army. i've got marla.
bob was a grown man. in any great struggle, there will be casualties. wouldn't that be implicit in the name? project "mayhem."
you want out?
not an option, for the most obvious of reasons. you need to get with the program. seven minutes. let's get out of here.
what?
ask me nicely.
defuse the bomb?
i did that for you. as a gesture. now, how fast can you run? there are ten other bombs, in ten other buildings in the immediate area. if you're going to get them all, you better get cracking. six minutes. green wires, remember. i'll be upstairs.
whoa! what was that all about?
fire at will.
what did you expect?
one minute.
this is the beginning. we're at ground zero. maybe you should say a few words, to mark the occasion.
it's getting exciting now.
look what we've accomplished. thirty seconds. out these windows, we will view the economic collapse. one step closer to global equilibrium. i'm glad you're here with me.
it's out of our hands. this is it.
fifteen seconds now. can you see alright? 10.  9.  8.
what the fuck -- ?
what?
damn it! god-damn it.
do we have to do everything ourselves?!
 codename rooster. passcode first strike.
proceed with remote detonation.
haven't we already done this?
fuck that, maybe you're my hallucination.
why what?
you need me.
look, i can be selfish, i know that. i'm not blind to my own failings.
from now on, we'll share marla. we've been spending too much time apart.
no more running off without you. from here on out, we do it together.
i'm doing this for us.
if i leave, you will be right back where i found you.
you will. you know you will.
can you live with that?
what are you doing?
why do you want to do that? why do you want to put that gun in your mouth?
this is interesting.
why are you going with this, ikea- boy?
i can see you feel very strongly. i feel strongly too. hey, you and me. friends again?
what?
what?
what?
what's that smell.  ?